[UPDATE BELOW, BRAH] The most e-mailed story in the Times today is the sprawling Dining section trend piece "Marijuana Fuels a New Kitchen Culture." While acknowledging that drug use in the kitchen is nothing new, reporter Kim Severson goes on (and on and on) about how a new generation of chefs and restaurateurs have carved out a somewhat distinct genre of cuisine, which she thinks we should call "Haute Stoner." Can we not?

First they told us the dining scene's drift toward upscale comfort food was a response to the anxiety provoked by the recession, which sort of made sense. But now, because a handful of happening industry types have copped to puffing the magic dragon, it's the drugs. Which anecdotal trend to believe?! Does anyone really give a hoot? Apparently so, and, to be fair, there are some fun, um, nuggets in the article, like when Frank Falcinelli (Prime Meats) connects being a foodie to being a marijuana connoisseur: "It’s like getting the best cheese. "I have like four or five different types of marijuana in my refrigerator right now." Luckily for him, cops don't read the Times.

But if we have to start using this vague "Haute Stoner" classification (the Times says we must!), can we at least get a better idea of what the hell it means? Christina Tosi, the pastry chef of David Chang’s empire, doesn't help much by tautologically describing it "as the kind of food that tastes good in the altered state marijuana brings. You like to eat stuff with texture and that is really deep in flavors. You want the ultimate sensory experience." Yeah, unlike those sober squares with their penchant for bland, gooey pabulum. Whatever, man, just because you can't define it and put it in a box doesn't mean it's not real. Someone emailed us about it, after all.

UPDATE: If you'd like to put this trend to the truth-test yourself, take a few bong rips and print out this handy Southside Williamsburg Haute Stoner map, put together by Edible Manhattan. Note that after the first stops at Pies 'n' Thighs and Fatty 'Cue, the rest of the destinations are all located within a half block of each other, for your crispy convenience.