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Subway Puker Pissed At Police

pukestandybme.jpg Having recently been vomited on underground... this article on subway puking piqued our interest. Writer Jessica Wakeman describes her experience as a subway puker, a title she gained one afternoon when she ventured onto the subway, fully aware she was in the midst of an ugly food poisoning attack. She emerged with five things to know should you find yourself in the same situation.

They're all pretty expected: people will yell "eww," people will stare, you will sob and be embarrassed, you will wonder if people think you are a junkie even though you are "carrying a purse from J.Crew" dammit! But what should happen if you ask to sit in a police officer's car once you emerge from underground?

The cop asked if I needed an ambulance. “I don’t think so,” I said. “Can I just sit in your car? I just feel really nauseous.” The cop turned his head away from me. “You can sit over there,” he said, pointing at the steps on the south side of Union Square Park. Are you kidding me? I was crying and covered in Gatorade-colored vomit. What else do you people need from me to get some help?! Screw you, a**hole.
Not to side with The Man here, but... would you let a vomiting person into a car you need to spend the rest of the day in?

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Comments [rss]

  • potsmoker

    her story is really funny, she was worried about people thinking she was a junkie...but if she sat in the cop car wouldnt she then be worried that people would think she was a junkie under arrest?

    cop must now stand on the sidewalk and explain to everyone who passes by, dont worry shes a nice girl with a jcrew bag! nothing to see here.

  • pissflaps

    one time i had a stomach virus that attacked me when i first got to work, i ran outta the office, hit the elevator, booked it thru the lobby and got around the corner.... and all hell broke loose, i puked like a mother =fucker. people were looking at me like i was the scum of the earth... i puked every five minutes for about a week's time.

    next time i am just gonna light bags of dog shit on fire, and place them on poeple's door steps...

  • Weasel

    This girl is an idiot.

    Why did she even have contact with a cop to begin with? And worried that people thought she was 'a junkie' even though she was 'carrying a JCrew bag, dammit'? Uh, what, drug addicts can't carry mid-line purses? What a self-entitled b#&%$.

  • FDTW

    Well according to the signs I've seen on the 6 and the L, according to the mta you should stay home of you know you're sick, but if you get sick on the train, mta personel or a cop will help you out.

    Whether or not she thought she was ok the cop should have called an ambulance...if she got on a train with food poisoning she obviously isn't able to analyze her own health.

    And why on earth, if you feel sick, would you want to soy in the back of a hot and uncomfortable car??

  • jaycjay

    "Whether or not she thought she was ok the cop should have called an ambulance."

    Really? You think cops should be able to detain you and put you in an ambulance if they think you might be ill, even if you say you don't want one?

    She showed no life threatening symptoms, and said she simply felt "nauseous." She's an adult; the cop asked if she wanted an ambulance and she said that she didn't. No one's life is in danger, he can't take her into custody, and if an ambulance arrives that she doesn't want she can just walk away. And that responding ambulance meanwhile is out of service and can't respond to any actual emergencies.

    She's being ridiculous. You're not eight years old, you don't get to just sit in a police car.



  • FDTW

    Who said anything about detaining? Calling an ambulance just means you get trained paramedics on the scene to determine the persons health, someone better qualified than the cop and the vomiting woman.

    Anyway, there's usually an ambulance or two parked around union square at all hours, it's not like the EMTs are going to be out of commission for any longer than any other call.

  • inoyourider

    What does *the dentist* mean?

    Oh, and you never, ever, let anyone in your car if they feel nauseous. Or get on the subway.

  • Peter

    Imagine if, instead of a Technicolor Yawn, she had the Hershey Squirts.

  • matty

    I vomited in a cab on the West Side Highway once. I felt bad and gave the cabby a big big vomit-laced tip.

  • asakasan

    vomit in your J Crew bag. You overpaid for it, you might as well get some use out of it.

  • Guest

    "puker pissed"... so is she a puke-pisser now? y'know, i like the sound of piss-puker better.

    note to self: when you feel really motivated, "piss-pukers"/"puke-pissers" is a really good name for a punk rock band.

  • moocowtoo

    This story makes me sick. I love it!

    Go sit on the steps, no car seat for you!

  • jaycjay

    And, she writes this, about the cop not letting her sit in his car: "What else do you people need from me to get some help?!"

    Nothing, other than answering "yes" when you're asked, instead of "no, I don't think so."

    EMTs are equipped to deal with sick people. Cops aren't. I suppose she thought that if an ambulance came she'd have to go to a hospital, but common sense should tell her that's not the case. Ever hear the phrase "treated at the scene?"

    If you're sick and want people to help you, an ambulance carries the people you want.

  • jaycjay

    Policy in almost every police department in the country would be that they can't let her sit in their car. At the very least, she'd have to be frisked first, and her "purse from J.Crew" would have to be searched.

    Best thing anyway, if she didn't want EMTs to check her out, would probably be to sit outside; not in a car.

  • handsomedevil

    Fire Ray Kelly!

  • "I am covered in vomit - can I sit in the back of your car and possibly vomit some more?"

    and for the record I have never seen a 'junkie' vomit anywhere in NYC.

  • gothamguy

    In all seriousness, I can't fault the cops here. You either want help or you don't. If you want it, then an ambulance is the right place to be. If you don't want it, then you are on your own. Cops aren't doctors.

    If this girl is sitting in the back of their car and they get a call, do they just shove her out the door?

    While it certainly would have been nice if they had waited with her, if she refused medical help then I don't see what more they were supposed to do.

  • leepresson

    He offered to call you an ambulance. You said no, you would rather get vomit in his vehicle. Not an option. He's not the asshole, you are.

  • No, sorry.

  • DarkGemini

    "You can sit over there" is in fact the correct response.

    And next time, stay home if you feel sick.

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