Who here speaks German? (Our knowledge is solely limited to the Die Hard line 'Schiess auf die fenster," which means "Shoot out the windows.") We ask because McDonald's in Germany are now offering a selection of four cupcakes inspired by different parts of NYC! They are named for Central Park, Soho, Chelsea, and the East Village. (There was supposed to be a Murray Hill one, but it moved back to Ohio, hey-oh.) So what does a German think the East Village tastes like, when distilled into cupcake form? BurgerBusiness.com did some paraphrasing:

East Village = Cappuccino. This neighborhood is full of artists and tourists looking for art galleries, McDonald’s explains on its German Web site. It features a disheveled young bohemian/hipster as the personality of the East Village. A coffee bean sits atop the cupcake.

Chelsea = Chocolate. Chelsea once was hip, then it wasn’t, then it was again, McDonald’s explains to Germans. Too fast? “Well, that’s New York.” A young man in Lands End-style jeans and rumpled shirt represents Chelsea.

Soho = Vanilla. Start at Houston Street for some great sightseeing. This cupcake is like a little piece of Soho to take home. A young woman in jeans and J. Jill-style separates stands for Chelsea.

Central Park = Strawberry. All of New York hangs out here, McDonald’s explains. Have a strawberry cupcake and a “personal Central Park moment.” A stylish young black woman represents Central Park.

Sooo jealous of German's cosmopolitan cupcake options! When is McDonald's going to let New Yorkers eat their own neighborhoods? [Via Grub Street]