From da potata to da potata, with a whole lotta bullshit in between.

The other night I was just sittin' at home playing my PS3, killing off some monsters in Dead Space. I had put my controller down because I had to lick the Cheeto dust off my hands. It was starting to gum up my buttons. I washed it all down with some delicious Ciroc vodka. It was so good, like being a guest in P Diddy's magical world. It was smooth. Smooth like the thighs of a virgin, freshly kidnapped from cheerleader camp.

Sometimes I mix it with my mom's Geritol to give it an extra humph!

It all ends up in the toiler eventually.

Every single one of you are just HATE'N cause You can't be "Diddy's People" Yes, the P is capitalized, always!

And as one of Diddy's People I can testify that Ciroc is not just vodka- served in a cold iced out bling bling bottle- but a way of life and a movement that you need to get behind. Owwwwwwwwwwe Bad boy! take dat take dat take take take take dat! Bad boy! Bad Boy for eva!

Diddy, just close your mouth all the way shut. All you have to do is raise your lower lip up to meet your upper lip. Try it just once. Can you do that?

Thank you! I can't stand that expressionless, mouth breather, fly catching face any more than you.

Vodka is for drunks and peasants to begin with. Putting it in a fancy bottle with a big price tag doesn't change the fact that ideally it supposed to be flavorless and odorless, so either it's taste like crap or nothing at all.

Has P. Diddy ever dignified anything with a statement?

Is P. Diddy 5 years old?

Vodka is dull, and is for people who can't handle real hootch.

I suppose if you don't like the taste of rum it is also good for making drinks with fruit juice and little paper umbrellas.

i'd rather have a beer...

Mr. Boston is supposed to taste like pee pee.

They punkd a punk.

Wait, it is a PUBLICITY STUNT? NO WAY. Like, hiring a famous person to shout random things about your vodka in public? Like, THAT kind of publicity stunt?

So I guess R. Kelly prefers brands other than Ciroc?

Vodka has two target markets:

Russians who eat breakfast and 17 year old girls who want to act out Lady Gaga lyrics.

Are you writing this down!?

you forgot about the hoodlum who can't rap for shit

BOTH Crioc and Georgi taste like Peepee. I'd rather drinks Leeds than down that shit.

Give me Smirnoff anyday.

Smirnoff is made by the same company that makes Ciroc. So your money is going into the same pockets.