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Rockers in Crisis: Band Name Options Running Out!

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We're not only running out of money in NY, we're running out of band names! The Journal investigates the lack of punchy, original new band names in the age of Google and MySpace. They find that even a super group consisting of Dave Grohl, John Paul Jones and Josh Homme couldn't get their first choice for a name, Caligula, because it was already taken by at least seven other acts, including a defunct techno outfit from Australia. Instead, they used Them Crooked Vultures, which the Journal points out, "held no special meaning." Rovi Corp., a licensing company, says they added an average of 6,521 new band names a month to their databases last year; the most commonly used names are Bliss (18 bands), followed by Mirage and One (15 each), and then Gemini, Legacy, Paradox and Rain. At least we can feel assured that there's no lack of terrible names.

It's especially a problem in Brooklyn, where thirteen new bands seem to pop up every day. They point to the story of Discovery, Kathleen Cholewka's Brooklyn-based band which she started in 2004. Lo and behold, another Discovery started in Brooklyn in 2005, and the two were even mistaken for one another in Time Out New York listings. Her name-rights feud transferred to the battlefields of Wikipedia: "Using the open-access encyclopedia, she made edits to the entry for a more prominent Discovery, formed by members of the successful rock bands Vampire Weekend and Ra Ra Riot. Ms. Cholewka wrote that her band 'rightfully owns the trademark' to Discovery, based on her paid gigs in New York clubs. She also added a few jabs about her opponent's music." One of them should just change their name to Discovery.Com!

To aid the aspiring indie rocker coming up with an unforgettable name, here are a few easy suggestions: Grizzly Nair, The Pain of Being Kevin Smith's Armrest, The Saxonphone Uprising, Bathsiderodromophobia, and Taint Misbehavin'. Okay, that last one is more of a freaky porn title, but Pissed Jeans is taken.

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Comments [rss]

  • me me me

    and yeah you can trademark any word in your industry as the name of your company, even the word THE if you're using it for a business. a band is a business. not like blogs...duh!!

  • me me me

    the wsj is so glib about the law in the article, it's odd. if it was any other industry, say hospitality or tech, and people were grabbing other people's names they wouldn't treat the story as such. it's a major issue. thousands of lawyers protect intellectual property because it exists. because Brooklyn's Discovery doesn't have the dough to sue, the rich Discovery can do whatever it wants. that's the real story.

  • S.K.

    Other noteworthy names:

    America- how plain.

    Taka Taka Taka- unforgettable

  • ANGRYGOD11

    If these "creative musicians" can't come up with a good name, why would anyone think they can come up with a decent song?

  • MrManhattan

    Back when the "Dead Kennedys" got popular, the agents I was working with had an informal poll to find the most tasteless band name. The winner: "Sharon Tate's Baby". And that was in late '70's!

  • MrManhattan

    That's nothing. My 70's band name was "Destiny" and next thing I knew, I was being sued for child support!

  • zodak

    crap, even frozen embryos is taken.

  • lmd

    My solo performance art name will henceforth be "Ill Ron Hubbard".

  • Papercutninja

    who gives a shit about brooklyn band names? Those bands will last about a week before breaking up due to egos/returning to the midwest/parents cutting off rent money, just long enough that they put out 2 tracks whilst some douchey Williamsburg music blog breathlessly declares them "the most influential indie band you've never heard of this century".

  • SaintEve

    Many years ago I saw a sign for the band ASS BABOON. That's when I knew we had run out of band names. Clearly, BABOON'S ASS must have been taken.

  • wobbleSmith

    this is such a non-problem.

    oh look -- "non-problem". awesome band name.

  • sexisicilian

    That pic reminds me to get another tat:)

  • hotstepper

    what about godnads? that is pretty killer.

  • Thinky Think

    Those suggestions sound great they should have checked with you before printing this article.lol

  • billybob

    that's comical, thinking you can trademark the word "discovery"

  • Wza

    Do what Prince did, create a symbol.

    That'll get you some attention.

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