Thin Walls No Match for Fornicating NYers, Survey Says

It's annoying enough that other people are getting some, but do they have to lord it over everyone with their vulgar caterwauling? Apparently so, because a survey of some 400 New Yorkers by Brick Underground suggests that most of us can hear our neighbors in the rut. More than two-thirds of the respondents say they're regularly subjected to the sounds of sex. What's to be done?

"It's like a train wreck—you have to stop what you're doing and listen, even if it's awful," Melissa Buck, 29, who lives on the Upper East Side, tells The Post. "A friend and I were cooking dinner at 6:30, while it was still light out, and we heard the neighbors. Why can you always hear the girl?" (So true! Guys, aren't you enjoying this? What's WRONG?)

Anyway, Buck's observation suggests it's not really thin walls that are to blame, but thoughtless, self-centered fornicators of the feminine gender. Ladies, next time you're lost in the throes of ecstasy, please take a moment to consider your neighbor, as he sits alone in a dark room on the other side of the wall, mere inches away from your naked body, listening intently to every shudder, moan and bang. Maybe he looks a little something like this?

Back to Buck, she says the noise "lasted probably 10 minutes, and we had to stop cooking and listen." And one Leslie Vandike of East New York, Brooklyn, has some advice for those driven to distraction by neighbors' amour. "Last summer, I was having a barbecue. Everybody was outside. Suddenly, we hear this loud screaming," he tells the Post. "Upstairs, our neighbor was having sex. Everybody was like, 'You go, girl,' cheering them on. We never heard anything else after that."

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By John Del Signore in News on February 12, 2010 10:15 AM

Comments [rss]

Bike Rider

my girl screams and yells. what the hell am i supposed to do about it? :/

wow 14th street

"Ain't nothing like the real thing,baby"

Them that's attractive gets it free.

The others have to do Porn.

wow 14th street

Altoid me thinks you won't make it to old age.

You are still in contempt of older folks having

a lucky long life and secondly you find old age

in that contempt, ugly and scary and maybe a bit foreboding

as far as your choice of needing Porn or adult films that

to speaks a lot about you.

altoid

oh i'm not in contempt of older folks having a long life, senior citizens having sex is just not something that would be appealing to be visually or mentally. why is that so hard for you to understand? and pornography is a billion dollar industry so if you're suggesting i have some type of issue because i watch it, well hey at least im in good company.

:::resumes watching attractive lesbian (NOT OLD PEOPLE) porn dvd:::

nyorker555

When you are ready to buy in NYC, buy in a building with concrete walls (pre 1990's typically). Otherwise you've got little more than drywall and steel beams between you and everyone else. You have been warned. . . . .

LB

Hell , I've broken a few guys at my old job ! Lol, it happens ! You get that urge, and then all those hormones come rushing out ! Only thing missing from the pic is the two of them sharing a cigarette afterwards .

potsmoker

tell da ho to bite pillow...

Malcolm Tucker

What would you call "non sexy" music, by the by?

eat vegans

wesley willis

wow 14th street

If "Altoid" makes it to old age without complaint he/she/it

would not be surprised that "senior citizens"have sex

Age darling is not a sentence or a disease...it's luck.

Old people should not scare you or shock you or make

your azz feel uncomfortable.

altoid

yeah im sure octogenarian porn is the highest grossing category when it comes to adult film.....not the image i want in my head...

Chu Chu Chuy

I'm part of a loud gay couple and my neighbor is gay. I think he likes it...well I would if I heard him doing it. *I NEVER do* I'm just a perv though. Besides, I too enjoy hearing others *gay or straight* having sex. We're human! Oh and BTW, I don't think that the Romans had soundproofing.....

greenteaguy

Are the people on here who are getting upset about hearing sex actually upset because they're not having sex? or at least good sex? It always puts a smile on my face to hear it. At least someone is having a good time.

NannyState

Beats talking about hearing loud farts next door.

Steven

duh. Living in the city on top on everyone you're going to hear weird noises, see stuff etc.

resa

I was living in NJ. A couple moved in next door. She was very beautiful and pregnant, he much older, not at all beautiful and strange.

They frequently fought at night and our walls were paper thin. Fortunately, the fights usually ended with him slamming the door for the 9th or 10th time and leaving. Like the gay couple who lived in the apartment before them, sometimes I heard them have sex. It usually didn't go on for a really long time. I just had to grin and bear it since my bedroom and their bedroom may as well have been the same room.

One night, instead of hearing fighting or boring sex, I hear a man moaning and moaning and moaning and moaning very loudly. I knock on the wall after about an hour of this and they move into the living room. The moaning continues just as loudly. I go downstairs to my car to get my white noise machine. When I get downstairs, I notice that the husband's car isn't there, maybe he'd parked on the street that night or the car was in the repair shop. Whatever. At this point, I was too pissed off to think about it.

I could hear the man moaning as I re-entered the building, all the way down on the first floor. I (and my noisy neighbors) lived on the third floor. This pregnant woman had it going on!

The next day, I called our super and without getting into detail, told her that the couple was making too much noise at night. The super promised me that she would speak to the couple. Two days later, she calls me back and tells me that the couple is moving out. It appears that the husband had gotten violent his wife, the police were called and he was arrested.

That's when I realized that the moaner wasn't her husband

I call this story, "How I broke up a marriage".