An increasing number of guys who work in finance are coping with the turbulent markets by pummeling each other in mixed martial arts duels, à la Fight Club. "It’s a recession; some days, fighting is the only thing holding them together," says Max McGarr, who runs a midtown gym that specializes in nightly combat. "We get a lot of finance guys," McGarr tells Bloomberg News. "It’s a good release from their job. If you lost hundreds of thousands of dollars, it’s good to come here and get it out." You know, these guys could probably make a little money back if they let some of the non-Wall Street rabble throw punches (for a small fee).

Merrill Lynch & Co. wealth manager John Cholish has even turned the top level of his Upper East Side duplex into a fighting gym, with the help of his roommate Erik Owings (who probably doesn't actually exist). One of Cholish's regular fight buddies, Brian Peganoff, calls it "the dungeon of pain." In mixed martial arts Ultimate Fighting Championships, two fighters wear a mouthpiece and gloves, but no helmet or shin guards, and square off in three five minute rounds. By the way, Governor Paterson wants to legalize it as a sport in New York.

"People on Wall Street are pretty competitive and I think that carries over," Peganoff said. "That’s the ultimate competition, putting two people in a cage and seeing who is the better guy." Because if the history of civilization has taught us anything, there's no better way to determine who's "better" than through brutish violence. Nope, not even net worth!