Untitled by Running With Scissors

• Today on the Gothamist Newsmap: all hands fire at a school in Farragut, animal rescue in the East River, and an armed robbery on East 19th Street.
• Buddah, the rotund sex-fiend cop, was convicted of soliciting oral sex from a teenager he issued a summons to in Riverside Park. He still faces at least three other trials for related assaults.
• The Westchester woman who lifted millions of dollars in gold from her Queens employer got sentenced to six months in jail. Apparently she had taken more than 500 pounds of gold.
• Nobody is really listening to WBAI, the paranoid, pinko radio station, but the people who work there don't really care.
• Gisele gave $1.5MM to Haiti relief. But that story about Tiger Woods giving $3MM turns out to be just a rumor.
• Wall Street bigshots are losing their special express bus. Apparently it cost $80 per person to run the bus from Grand Central to Wall Street.
• Jackson Heights: gay, gay, gay.