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Mutant-Fingered Dead Man Found On Plum Island

plumisland0110.jpg Since Plum Island gave us the Montauk Monster (unsubstantiated!), it's only fair that they get something in return. On that note, the Daily News reports that a tall, white male with extremely long fingers has washed up on the medical testing site's shore. A security guard discovered the partially decomposed body yesterday in a restricted access area, and an autopsy will be performed to determine the cause of death, but no trauma was noticed. Conspiracy theorists: maybe the long-fingered man didn't wash up on the shore, maybe he was trying to escape!

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By Jen Carlson in on January 15, 2010 11:11 AM

Comments [rss]

  • Bizzle

    This just in. He dies from a cerebral hemorrhage when he tried to pick his nose.

    Thank you, thank you! I'm here all week — try the veal.

  • Kojak

    Hard to climax women everywhere weep.

  • Rocknrope

    I bet he was a hit with all the ladies on Anthrax Island.

  • sxs

    Plum Island is home to one of those detention centers where people get held but not charged... I wonder if it's an inmate?

  • etypical

    So that's where Oceanic flight 815 crashed? Could've sworn it was a tropical locale.

  • bobchadwick

    Probably someone with Marfan's syndrome.

  • hotstepper

    you know what they say about beached male corpses with ginormous hands...

  • robingee

    They need custom-made gloves!

  • robingee

    Nosferatu!

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