Goldman Sachs To Donate Money So It Seems Less Evil

To deflect criticism from the massive bonuses it will soon pay out to employees, Goldman Sachs is considering expanding a program forcing top earners to give a percentage of their salaries to charity, the Times reports.

This follows several previous attempts to quell the wrath of the ~~poors~~ American people: remember when they served Thanksgiving dinner to the needy, saved kittens, canceled their Christmas Party, and announced senior execs would get stock instead of cash? No? Perhaps that's because you're too busy looking for a job and trying to find a place to live now that you've lost your house to foreclosure.

The new plan: develop a mandatory charity initiative that will deduct a part of workers' salaries. The policy would be similar to a program at the defunct investment bank Bear Stearns, which required more than 1,000 high-ups to give four percent of their pay to charities and checked tax returns to make sure the workers followed through. Of course, that policy did so much to improve the public's perception of the failed bank.

So what do you think: will you hate Goldman Sachs less if they give 4% of their salaries to charity? They're listening!

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Ben Muessig in News on January 11, 2010 3:10 PM

Comments [rss]

Florence Fielding

Hi! Money can turn you into a different person. It is up to you on what to choose. Well i would prefer in helping those who are in need. If you are gonna help, you should not broadcast it.

Florence Fielding,
Car Donation
Wheels for Wishes

WrecklessAbandon

I'm with DB: I could use some of that GS money. My unemployment, all too generous as it is, is going to run out soon. Goldman Sachs: Where do I send my name and address? I could use even 1% of one of those 4%s.

sj

I never get tired of that fat cat picture. Cracks me up every time.

db

Dear Goldman Sachs,

I consider myself in dire need of charity. Contact me for information on how to write the check and mailing info

nicemarmot

I don't really hate Goldman Sachs. I realized long ago that the people in charge in just about every industry are greedy assholes. I can't hate all of them. It would be too exhausting.

sidenote

Probably doesn't matter - what they really need to do is spend it at hotels / restaurants / bars / car dealerships / other places where people work.

Yeah, seriously.