Gowanus, by Joe Holmes

• The savagely bad economy has led record numbers of suckers prospective-students to take the LSATs— guess they haven't seen this graph.
• Jeffrey Deitch, the enfant terrible of the New York gallery scene, is rumored to be taking the top job at Los Angeles' embattled Museum of Contemporary Art. Wonder what'll happen to his SoHo galleries.
• A tanker with 41,000 barrels of ethanol ruptured its tank off Gravesend — the Coast Guard evacuated boats from the area, but no ethanol spilled into the water.
• Chuck Schumer is such a frenemy to Hillary Clinton: he secretly supported Obama while he was supposed to be working for her, a new book claims.
• Eliot Spitzer says Kirsten Gillibrand is unqualified to be senator and "not somebody whom I would have appointed under any circumstances"— that is, if he hadn't gotten caught schtupping prosies and was still governor.
• Sad: millions of tropical fish in Florida have frozen to death in this horrible cold weather snap that's been afflicting the East Coast.