Extra, Extra

Subway Emergency by Rich Gersh on Flickr

Sucks: Empire State Park in DUMBO is going to be closed for a year and a half.
First the divorce, and now this: Lloyd Grove is accusing Tim Robbins of donating money to right-wing politicians!
In local retail news: Botanicas are doing bang up business selling potions to the poor, while Muslim bodega owners feel sad about selling pork products and booze.
The stock market started the year with a bang: the Dow was up 1.5% on news of stronger manufacturing activity.
It's true: actor/heart-throb/performance-artist James Franco will appear on 30 Rock.
Tourist trap Jekyll & Hide has to pay $745,000 to settle an employment lawsuit: apparently they forgot to pay 11 employees overtime and minimum-wage.
If the man with the world's largest penis cannot find work in NYC, what chance do the rest of us have?

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By Jake Dobkin in Miscellaneous on January 4, 2010 6:31 PM

Comments [rss]

Mr Mel

Milton Berle was reputed to be the record holder in his day. The story I heard, was he was in a steam room with Henny Youngman when another guy came over and challenged Berle to measure up to him. The stranger was willing to bet a thousand dollars that his was longer and kept badgering Berle to enter the contest. Youngman allegedly said to Berle "Milton, just show him enough to win".

jaycjay

Since the Animal link as it was originally posted here was broken, I searched the "world's largest penis" guy's name on Google. And found this article, which really makes him sound like -- pardon the joke -- a dick. Which I guess explains the the "pushing 40 and still living with his mother in spite of this thing" thing.

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/5938137/mr_big

jpeditor

Au contraire - blowing up/killing infidels is required in the koranus and hadiths!

Spirit of 76

That would mean quite a few Gothamist commenters are very well-endowed. Below the waist.

nivek

As Carlos Mencia put it, the size of your penis is inversely proportional to your smarts.

mellow_fellow

It's not the length that matters, it's the girth (or so I've read).

nicemarmot

My response to guys asking me this in college was always: size matters, but only a little. Too long is bad, too short is bad, too skinny is bad. Can't really be too wide, though. Or at least if it's possible, I've never seen it. Even Mr Douchlestein probably isn't too wide. But I can understand why he never gets laid, considering that he's 39 and lives with his mom. Plus having a dick that long wouldn't really be an advantage. It would just hurt if he wasn't careful.

retrovertigo

THAT guy has the world's largest penis? THAT guy? You'd think it would give him a little inspiration to like...work out or something. I mean, he has some time on his hands being jobless and all. Fuckin'...ew.

ides_of_march

Perhaps the muslim bodega owners would be less sad if they opened shop in a more pious muslim country like Yemen for example. I know I'd be happier if they did.

MrManhattan

"If the man with the world's largest penis cannot find work in NYC, what chance do the rest of us have?"

~ I'm not touching that one with a ten foot pole!

NannyState

He's just facing the wrong direction: the willing mouths are on the other side of the river.

MrManhattan

Usually I'm the one with the gratuitous New Jersey reference, Nice going "Nanny State"!

schadenfreudian mensch

PALL-EASE. He can get work, porn work. He just chooses NOT to because then "real" stage/screen work wouldn't take him seriously or so he says. Yet he's comfy, at 39y.o., mooching off of mom. Bravo!