- From the Gothamist Newsmap: A jumper on the Brooklyn Bridge (later taken in by the cops), a motorcycle pinned by vehicle at 14th St & 3rd Ave in Manhattan, and a shooting on Holland Ave in the Bronx.
- Hey, you know that girl who supposedly had vaccine-induced dystonia? Well, it's been cured (new video!)—and there's some question as to whether she had dystonia at all.
- The stock market gained 3% for the week, with the Dow ending at 10,023, in spite of today's unemployment numbers.
- NJ Governor-elect Chris Christie won't live in the Governor's mansion next year—because he doesn't want to uproot his kids from school—but they will have Sunday dinner there.
- The woman who killed her abusive father so he wouldn't abuse his granddaughters was sentenced to the max, fifteen years, even though some jurors asked for the judge to sentence her to time served.
- A PR magazine thinks it's nice that Times reporters were nice to former Governor Spitzer's communications director when investigating Hookergate.
- Two Brooklyn men were arrested for fish poaching!
- The Telephine was taken down and then reinstalled (thank goodness).
- Fine, we feel bad for Lindsay Lohan now—her parents are awful!




Cheer up, Yankee fans!
Chris Christie is so fat, when they measured him for the doorway to the Governor's mansion, they ran out of tape on the first belt loop.
What's the chick who's pointing angry about?
she's angry at herself for having baby hands.
ROFL baby hands!
Is that Mark David Chapman to the left of her?
Yankees fans need to hit the gym like the overpaid athletes they worship.
What a cross-section of low foreheads.