100 Things Restaurant Servers Must Stop Doing!

I was recently in India and there you can add more to the list.

They do not understand personal space. They will be looking over your table, I was ready to ask him if he wanted to have a seat since he was that close....

More advice - mostly universal but particularly useful when serving larger patrons. (We usually order more, so we wind up tipping more; it literally pays to be good to us.)

- Offer your bigger patrons straight off a bench seat along the wall or a booth, especially if you have less-than-comfy chairs. Pull the table out when we're sitting down (without making a production out of it.) Giving a big couple a table that seats four will definitely earn you bonus points.

- Don't ask "For yourself?" if someone orders one of the grander dishes. (It's nice that your restaurant is OK with splitting, but some of us don't.)

- Bread still in the bread basket? Leave it. Empty bread basket? Refill it (or ask if we'd like more).

- Don't amusedly ask "Do you have room for dessert?" Just offer the dessert menu.

This list reads very entitled and pretentious.

Isn't being served food, good or bad, an extreme privilege? We're lucky we don't have to hunt and gather anymore.

"Like, I hate it when you sneak up on a buffalo or deer to kill it for food... and then it, like, runs the other way."

I really hate it when there are a few of you dining, or even just you and a friend, and as soon as someone is finished they rush over and start clearing the plate. Don't they know it is bad manners to do this!! You wait until everyone has finished, then you clear the table. I never leave my knife and fork in 'finished' position until we have all finished beacause of this.

Am I really being pedantic!

Do not return to the guest anything that falls on the floor — be it napkin, spoon, menu or soy sauce.

it a MUST!

I am especially supportive of this one:

Do not ask if a guest needs change. Just bring the change.

As someone who worked in the restaurant industry for about 15 years (mostly as a waitron, but also hosted and managed), this irritates me the most. By asking if I need change, they are really saying, "Is there a tip in there for me?" They should just assume I do need change and, as they pick up the folder, should simply say "Thank you." If I want them to keep the change, I'll say, "keep the change." If I don't say that, BRING ME MY CHANGE!

The moment they ask, I deduct money from their tip. I was taught to give good service in my years of waiting tables, and took the bad tips with the good - it all added up and paid my bills for many years. I don't need anyone begging at my table. Gimme my change and trust you will get what your service deserves.

I agree.

When I get the, "Do you want change?" question from the waiter, I just tell him, "Oh no, YOU keep the change for your tip. Just bring back the bills."

One of the newest things to irk me as a patron is the restaurant keeping my coins when I pay in cash!! WTF is this all about???

timely article! my pet peeve is a nice juicy hamburger that has been UNDERCOOKED! Nothing ruins the appetite faster than a raw burger. Coincidentally it happened to me last night - good fries though.

I hate it when my server slides over my tray of tacos and then just hands me an empty cup like I'm supposed to fill my own soft drink. I mean, WTF? Is this a Taco Bell, or what?

I used to wait tables, but I never did the following:

Worst dining experience - a restaurant where the waiters were encouraged to sit down with the diners to take their orders (a bad idea in itself). Apparently our waitress took a liking to my husband, because she returned to sit down next to him and chat, for no apparent reason, about four times during the meal, as if I was not there. She seemed to think she could develop this into a date with my husband. We were both taken aback by this - needless to say, NO TIP!

I hate when they try to take the frikkin bread away when the entree comes, maybe I was saving it to mop up the gravy!..

I'm pretty easy-going at restaurants. I don't mind a waiter calling me "dude" or chatting; honestly, most of these "rules" don't seem like that big of a deal to me.

However, the one thing I do get really irritated by is the plate removal thing. Just last night, I leaned forward to hear what my wife was saying, and the waiter pulled my plate out from under my face! While I had a fork in my hand! I had to grab her arm to keep her from running away with the rest of my food. My wife eats more slowly than I do, so I typically leave 3-4 bites left on my plate and hold my fork over them until she's finished. Otherwise, I have to tell the waiters and busboys to please wait about 4-5 times.

I know that waiters are trying to be attentive, and I appreciate that, but I hate feeling rushed.

That is one of the biggest problems I have at restaurants. Sometimes I am not even halfway done and they try to take my plate away without even asking.

I find more worse than that is when I'm having an appetizer and they take it away while I'm eating it because the entree has arrived.

Now, can we get this list for patrons, too??!! PLEASE!?

Here are three suggestions from that list which actually apply to all persons, all the time, everywhere (except possibly Wasilla, Alaska):

38.Do not call a guy a “dude.”

39. Do not call a woman “lady.”

41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.

Please!

Never insist that a guest settle up at the bar before sitting down; transfer the tab.

Tips should be abolished and waitstaff paid a living wage. You would then see better service, because more people would consider it a more or less permanent job instead of a waystation on the road to their acting career, or whatever.

If you're going to complain, why not just learn to cook. Sheesh.

gwinny: that isn't always true. in italy, being a waiter is a profession. they get paid an actual wage (don't just rely on tips) and take their jobs very seriously. i never had bad service in italy.

As peter griffin would say...this really grinds my gears...

i think its ironic that there's a huge list of how a server should act, as if your experience at a restaurant is entirely in their hands, and no list of how restaurant owners should treat you and their employees.

maybe if your mexican waiter made enough to afford rice and beans, he could take an extra second and refill your sparkling water more carefully.

seriously, if this list is your worst fear in life, you need to remove the diamonds from your [word that rhymes with hunt]

Blunt?

I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth,

Nor actions, nor utterance, nor the power of speech,

To stir men's blood: I only speak right on.

The diamonds filter my blunt of toxins and the taste of poverty.

i know where you work, girl.

I know where you live, disembodied eyewear.

As a former server and current restaurant-goer, I totally agree with this list.

Also, NYC restaurant workers are leagues above waitstaff in Europe. Every time anyone visits me from overseas, they are stunned at how competent, friendly and well-organized folks here tend to be.

Not sure about that. I find NYC wait-staff just as rude and impolite as any North American establishment. They could learn to take a page out of the service in Japan.

What amazes me is that theoretically a server could execute his or her job perfectly and yet still be subject to the whim of a crazy patron to receive well-earned pay. Apparently the government simply assumes that people will leave a certain amount and deducts this from their $2.50/hr or whatever.

I'm curious as to whether people in other occupations believe their pay should also rely on the honor system.

If I was aware of a restaurant that actually paid a living wage and provided heath insurance to all their staff, I would gladly pay the increased markup (which should equal the tip anyway, plus I don't have to calculate everything while relaxed). If you treat the staff like...staff, they will perform their jobs enthusiastically.

In Japan they don't rely on tips. Plus, the patrons themselves (general population) are above-average in terms of overall politeness.

We can't forget to ask ourselves who's responsible for poorly-trained staff; managers and the owners behind them.

Hence, my list:

25 Things Restaurant Owners Should Never Do

That's because they're paid a decent wage just like in Australia and New Zealand.

I love this thread!

I always put my knife & fork together on the plate. I guess nobody does this any more because I get asked if I'm "done with that" even when the fork is still in my hand. I blame parents.

I prefer to leave my shoe on the plate as a signal that I am ready for my bill. Only barbarians wouldn't understand that.

Yes!, the knife and fork (especially when pointing to ten and twelve) are the international code for any decent waiter to come by and get shit out of your way.

Gothamist Readers TAKE NOTE:

" Yes!, the knife and fork (especially when pointing to ten and twelve) are the international code for any decent waiter to come by and get shit out of your way."

I thought I was the only person left in the world who does this. Actually the tines of the fork should be point down and the knife and fork should cross each other.

I worked at some very good places and was lucky enough to receive great training from service industry pros.

It all depends on where you go, and not necessarily the price.

If they're exhibiting the behavior stated in this list then you shouldn't be eating there.

As a server I always had the mindset that I was the guests guide to the restaurant, there to make sure they enjoyed themselves. If that meant they liked to talk, fine. If not, fine. If they want a big spiel about the special and wine, great I can do that.

Since house pay is next to nothing, a smart server will work for the CUSTOMER, not the restaurant.

Which actually benefits the restaurant more anyways.

"Do not ask if a guest is finished the very second the guest is finished. Let guests digest, savor, reflect."

Agreed but don't make me hunt you down to get the check when I *am* ready to leave and then take twenty minutes to bring me the credit slip to sign.

I can't stand chatty servers. I'm dining with my friends and that doesn't include you. If you are lonely, get yourself a dog. If you are looking for a good tip, communication should be kept focused on the ordering and serving.

damn... replied to wrong post!

no... correct post.

You should carry pepper spray and spray the server if they try to be friendly. That should teach them.

Please don't put your cigarette out in my salad. Otherwise, carry on...

New York has got to be one of the hardest places to be a waiter. Self entitlement abounds and so does lack of tact. I feel sorry for the servers. If you want good service of course remember to be a human. Usually the poor who come into money are the biggest d bags and worst tippers.

Yup,

Much easier to be a waiter in Los Angeles, where most know nothing about food,

don't give a damn about anything except their next audition, and may be able to tell you about the chef's unique, holistic stacking method and where he practices yoga.

LA waiters have always been, and remain the worst (or maybe the wurst) and often are as attitude driven as Naomi Campbell on a good day. They make me question the origin of the phrase "Dumbwaiter"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dumbwaiter_(elevator)

In the better restaurants in Europe, the job is considered to be a serious and honorable profession. Not just the choice between slinging food or driving a cab to pay the rent.

I have worked in restaurants, and I HATED it when people I worked with did any of these things -- specifically taking away a plate the second the last bite is eaten. Let people sit for a few minutes, people!!!

My personal advice and pet peeves, as a former server:

- If your server comes to the table to take your order, tell you the specials, ask if you would like a drink, etc... acknowledge them. Not only are we are very busy trying to do our job, but it is rude, dehumanizing even, to be completely ignored while you are at someone's service.

- Say please and thank you. Be nice. The best service usually goes to the best customers. So do free drinks and dessert.

- Don't complain about the price of something to your server. They didn't set the prices, and they can't change them - I mean, duh. If something's too expensive then don't order it. If you're an asshole and still need to complain, ask to speak with a manager.

- Don't talk on your cell phone at the table. Period.

- If you're a dick and/or a lousy tipper, the entire staff will know about it within about 5 minutes. Just saying.

- In most cases, servers make less than minimum wage. I was making $2 an hour, so basically all of the money we make comes from our tips.

- Realize that you are not the only table in the restaurant. If it's busy, depending on the restaurant, servers will have as many as 8 other tables besides you. Like I said above, all of the money we make comes from our tips - so we are working our asses of to make sure that we give good service, thus receive good tips. If it's taking a while to retrieve your glass of wine, it's probably because your server is delivering someone's food, ringing in an order, or refilling 25 other glasses of wine.

- Don't be sarcastic with your server (unless you know them or something). It just doesn't translate well - trust me.

- Don't brag to me about knowing the manager/owner/chef. Great, so do I! I see them every day. Who are you trying to impress?

- Finally, my ultimate pet peeve: Don't think that you know more about the restaurant than the people that work there. Nothing irks me more than when someone comes in (claiming to be a regular, of course, even though I've worked there for 5 years and don't recognize them) and tells me that the last time they were here we took his credit card (it's been cash only forever), or he knows that we have beef bourgogne on Wednesdays (actually, sir, it's on Sunday).

Obviously there are a million more things, this is just off the top of my head.

J Lo, I agree with most of the things you pointed out, but the things you listed are pretty obvious, but mostly address blatant rudeness or bad tippers. The great majority people don't fall into that category. However, many of the things on the 100-list for staffers talks about very subtle things that servers may not even know that they're doing wrong. For example, stacking finished plates on the table before removing them, making a guest who waited at the bar close their tab before sitting down at the table, or not knowing who ordered what "Who ordered the shrimp?" I can tell you that there are a LOT more servers who make these kinds of mistakes than people who don't tip.

I HATE when a table ignores me! It's so common too, people always do it. I have to stand there awkwardly repeating the same question as politely as possible until they decide to acknowledge me. Some customers really suck.

I try to approach each table the same cheerful yet professional way, but sometimes, even at the very moment you step up, someone at the table just vibes the wrong way and completely throws you off for the entire dinner. Some people are just too strange.

good lord, my husband does every single one of these things on your list (except pretending he's a regular someplace). I apologize in advance if we ever come in your restaurant!

Oh, I hate going to a restaurant with someone who is otherwise very nice but for some reason is clueless on how to act and comes off as rude. Do I say something? Do I grit my teeth and deal?

I couldn't imagine ignoring a server. I can tell if the server doesn't want to chat. But reading the posts from people who like to treat servers as subhuman robots... well, they suck and if they get a bad case of the schitz... well good.

"Don't be sarcastic with your server (unless you know them or something). It just doesn't translate well - trust me."

After reading this, I'm not sure I'd even risk making eye-contact with you...

Sarcasm doesn't work. Once I wanted to order something with a really dumb embarrassing name, like "Sloppy Seconds" or whatever, and the waitress didn't quite hear me. I said, "Gosh, I was really hoping I wouldn't have to say THAT ONE twice!" Either it wasn't funny or she didn't have a sense of humor, but she walked on eggshells with me for the rest of the evening. Very annoying, and not at all what I intended. No more jokes from me, waitstaff!

Plus, having worked in foodservice myself (always back of the house, thank you), I completely second J Lo Biafra's comment: you do not mess with the people who handle your food. They have ways of retaliating you can't even imagine.

You're a servant. Quit complaining. You have no say in the situation.

I'm also the last person to handle your food before it goes in your mouth.

Nice to see that you admit to being a scumbag.

Hey J Lo,

Do you have the Mountain Oysters to tell us where you work,

or are just another person who should be doing something else for a living?

Let us know, as yours as your last comment is definitely a large red flag of one restaurant to avoid.

And I'm sure your employer, at the very least, would find your

comment "engaging". Please share where we can enjoy the pleasure of your service.

Initiate Project Mayhem.

Once you've delivered the food, I don't want to see or hear you until you're called for by someone at the table. I basically have a tip scale. It starts well above 20% and starts to drop as I'm bothered. Asking me if I'm done while my plate is still half full, brutal, the scale becomes a slide.

i shudder at the thought of what you've unknowingly ingested over the years.

Touche'(heh-heh)

I was shocked that this long (very long!) list did not include my favorite annoyance:

When pouring water into a guest's water glass, do not allow the sweating bottom of the pitcher to drip water into your plate, lap, or anywhere else. Pick up the glass and pour the water away from the table. (The bottom of the pitcher is disgusting, and the dripping condensation is full of god-knows-what).

Otherwise, bravo.

oh my god yes good point.

Yes, G-d forbid you should return a napkin that's dropped to the floor. Let's create as much waste and use as many resources as possible.

Yeah, let's recycle all the germs and dirt on the floor back into our digestive system.

"Do not ask if a guest is finished the very second the guest is finished. Let guests digest, savor, reflect."

I'm so glad this was included!! It's my biggest beef with many restaurants.

I think the main idea is that customers don't want to sit with a dirty plate in front of them. The servers or buspeople take the plate away not as a hint to hurry up and get out, but to make you more comfortable while you talk, sip your drink, etc w/o two plates on the table. It's cleaning up, and I appreciate it.

I've used to waiter back in the day. The supply of plates, cups, etc. in a restaurant often doesn't quite meet capacity. So unless dirty plates are taken back for washing as soon as humanly possible they'll run out of clean ones to serve with. Don't blame the waiter, blame the managers.