Crack Hipster is the New Hipster Grifter

If you make it through the this 8 bazillion word profile in the New York Observer on a crack-smoking hipster, please let us know how it ends. What we learned from a quick scan of the first page is that it doubles as a tip sheet for amateur crackophiles, and also bodegas sell crack kits! The code word at Crack Hipster's bodgea is: "Casaban." And if you say it, "you’re handed a brown paper bag containing the glass tube with a tiny bunched-up ball of steel wool at one end, and a little lighter. It costs $2.50."

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By Jen Carlson in News on October 21, 2009 5:43 PM

Comments [rss]

bklynbagel

So terribly written. With no point. And the explanations of how these people ended up getting into it, were vague at best. Lets. write. shorts. nonsensical. paragraphs. to. sound. interesting.

So essentially Vice magazine and Geffen records is to blame for the wave of crack addicts in the 90s?!

matty

I think this guy just liked the novelty of the "rose in a glass vile" - that has been known for years as nothing more than a glass pipe - and built a story around it.

*eye roll*

So "edgy"

I bet this guy is friends with the person who wrote "a million little pieces"

cmdrogogov

... idiots like this advocating known harmful narcotics are arguably the reason there's such a resistance to ending prohibition and bringing in sane drug laws.

There are safer, cleaner and more healthy ways to enjoy yourself.

potsmoker

It sounds like he read the Dash Snow IRAK articles and just made up everything else.

Theres no such word as Casaban?

Shattered Glass (CrackPipe) will be the headline when he's outed.

whitecastlerock

This dickhead hipster will be dead in a few years if he continues to suck the glass dick. For the record real crack heads don't have iphones, girlfriends, or even places to live. There is nothing glamorous about crack smoking. Finally, bodegas have been selling crack kits for over 20 years now.

hunter.blatherer

Since when did crack cost twenty bucks? I guess since hipsters started buying it?

5borough

Great point. I was wondering the same thing.

SC

"He’s around 30 and a longtime member of a graffiti collective. The Last Crack Hipster looks a bit like a raccoon, but not in a bad way. He’s a shower man, prefers the spray to the soak, has an iPhone and a serious girlfriend. Grew up out West. His parents aren’t millionaires, but if he’s in a tight spot, they’ll help him out. "

Dear god. Whoever's paying this guy to write this dreck must be on crack too.

pudeljung

no it really is that long

it is so long and boring that i could kill myself

Bike Rider

crack is probably the shit

dr zippy

Oh, and Spencer Morgan is actor Harry Morgan's grandson.

longacre

I heard those little roses in glass containers they sell on bodega counters are actually crack pipes.

enfant

Horribly written, bored me to death. It's like they wanted it to be an expose, but they're too cool for exposes. And yeah, if anybody manages to finish it, let us know if the hipster ODs in the end.

jaycjay

"this 8 bazillion word profile"

It's not all that long. I printed it out; it was four pages. I read the first page and a half before becoming too bored to continue.