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The New York Times posted an article today for anyone who's ever had to endure subway transfers to get to their beloved. They track the story of one couple, Peter Horan and Afton Vermeer, who must trek nearly an hour and a half to see each other in the same city (Horan lives in western Harlem, Vermeer in Sunset Park.) While this is not news to many couples in the city, the Times reports that it seems to be happening more and more, with a variety of repercussions.
John Mollenkopf, the director of the Center for Urban Research at the City University of New York, said that “As Manhattan housing got more expensive, people had no option but to spread out more." Thus the gentrification of neighborhoods like Harlem, Bushwick and the South Bronx has meant more young singles in every area (though Mollenkopf avoids the hot button issue that this gentrification means more young white singles in these neighborhoods). Nevertheless, the singles are spreading, which means longer commutes and more strain on the relationship.
Also, due to the rise of internet dating, singles in a large city can specify desirability by zip code, with many New Yorkers looking to find love within a one-mile radius. One resident, Isaac Oliver, set the standard: "It took two trains and a bus to get home. There will be no second date." The 2008 American Community Survey said that there are 3.8 million single people in New York City. That's more than the population of all of Chicago. So this makes us wonder, isn't the point of being single in New York to find new things? Why limit yourself to one area? Of course, not every New Yorker feels this way. Melanie Hopkins of Washington Heights says of her Brooklyn boyfriend "“Rob could move to Sheepshead Bay and I’d make it work." Awww.
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My parents met in college in Manhattan, Mom lived in the Bronx, dad lived in East New York, solution: get married.
"The 2008 American Community Survey said that there are 3.8 million single people in New York City. That's more than the population of all of Chicago. "
SO ANNOYING. What is wrong with this sentence?
Nothing's wrong with that sentence. Don't know why you have a problem with it.
Yawn. This was a Seinfeld episode in 1998. It's the one where Jerry was sleeping with his maid. Kramer was having a "long distance relationship" with a woman downtown. He gets lost and calls Jerry from a pay phone at First and First aka "The nexus of the universe".
And I thought the same thing in DC was bad...
Oh people - whatever happened to true love??
True love is a hard thing to find in NYC. A willing vagina, on the other hand, isn't. If you want a lasting relationship, move get the hell out of this city.
At least that is what I have found.
"The 2008 American Community Survey said that there are 3.8 million single people in New York City. That's more than the population of all of Chicago"
that's also more than the population of all of los angeles.
man what an akward sentence.
awkward how? looks fine to me.
yeah, why are so many people having a problem with that sentence?
Even if its a "long distance" commute, at least you have the option of making the trip if all it is is a subway ride or a bus ride. A true long distance relationship takes that sort of option away altogether.
PS the image with this article is hilarious.
I never thought about that impacting a relationship or potential one... interesting.
The solution is to include a free Metrocard in each box of condoms.
Ugh, I'm awfully tempted to take a page from twitter & hashtag this #firstworldproblems. Oh man, my relationship is so hard we are separated by an HOUR on our cities mass transit! Poor dears.
On the other hand, I did the long distance thing-- 'course, that was The Wasteland of Cleveland to Metropolis New York. My solution was, as you might have guessed, to move.
The longest distance I have ever had between myself and the apple of my eye (at the given moment) was 20 minutes, and that was by car.
Is it true that Chicago only has 3.8 million people? Teeny tiny!
3.8 million in chicago proper. 8.7 in the chicagoland area. maybe not the size of new york, but still the 3rd largest city in the country.
Sheeeit, New Yorkers think it's long distance if A is in East Village and B is West. And then there's the whole Manhattanista thing. Good luck getting a Manhattanista to go to Brooklyn, let alone Queens or the Bronx or, god forbid, Staten Island! How many outer borough folks have heard "But it takes so long to get out to you. Why don't you come here?"
1) best picture EVER
2) that many singles? damn.
My girlfriend and I have been together for more than six years. I live on Kingsbridge (Bronx) and she lives on east Elmhurst. Granted when we started dating she lived on Woodside, much closer (to the train station).
But even if we lived close by, we would still not find enough time to be together. We're both students and go to different schools and our jobs obviously involve commuting for a long distance.
For six years though, the weekends have been ours. We could meet up early and have a great day and stay over either one's place.
It has worked out all this time. We're getting our place soon.
Aww, best wishes, you two!
Guys will drive, subway, bus, bike or walk anywhere if they can get LOA - laid on arrival.
To reference another Seinfeld episode:
A long distance mass transit commute prevents unannounced "pop-in" visits from a girlfriend or boyfriend without the stigma of having your significant other being in prison.
amor de lejos, amor de pendejos.
Y tu madre.
Just when you thought self-absorbed city dwellers ran out of trivialities to whine about.
...you whined about whiners on a message board?
"Western Harlem?"
Um, yeah. I live in "Western Harlem" (actually, in Hamilton Heights, just like the guy in the article), and people do call it that sometimes.
Get a car.
The article's Comments Section is even more interesting. Especially the Angelinos complaining about LA traffic and gas prices.
Which brings up an interesting point; notice that these people complain about time, not money. How much worse off would we be without express trains. Also do Londoners do "Zone discrimination"?
As for the bias against New Jersey. Sometimes I think it's all about paying that extra fare for PATH or NJ Transit.
Hello? Have you seen what's out there? If you find someone that you're crazy about and that person can tolerate your ridiculous petty hangups, suck up the two hour commute. Plus it's a great excuse to spend the night ;)
Valid point, "listen, there are service changes, I'm not going home" has gotten me into many a bed.