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We've seen cyclists combat bicycle theft with aggression, but now they're going after the crooks with passive aggression. A biker apparently spotted his stolen Panasonic road bike — which was heisted from its Nolita spot back in April — chained to another rack earlier this month, so he taped two threatening notes to the seat.
"Have a good conscience or be an asshole -- your choice. Shit will come back around if you're the jerk, for sure," reads the first note, which was spotted by the blog ShadiNYC.
"I don't want to blame the wrong person because you may have re-bought 'your' bike on craigslist, but its [sic] mine and was fucking stolen in NOLITA back in APRIL when I was sick with bronchitis and too ill to ride it back home," a second letter continues. "In the event you are innocent, get in touch with me and maybe we can make a deal ... otherwise, you're a scum bag and fuck off."
Though less brutal than last month's bike thief beatdown video, it remains to be seen whether the notes will be as effective in recovering the bike.
We've emailed the author of the notes and we'll follow up if we receive a response.
UPDATE: Unfortunately, the notes didn't help the cyclist — who wished to remain anonymous — recover her bike.
"Being an oft-broke New Yorker, I had to give it a shot on the off chance it would get returned," said the cyclist, who noted that the new "owner" was the one who upturned the handle bars and chained the seat. "[The] guy at the nearby bodega was going to try and help me clip the lock, but didn't have the right tools. I know it's a shitty bike, but I have other stolen things to replace before I spend good money on anything better."
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Nice note bro. Can I try it? Just up and down the block, I swear.
Should have stole it back and then left a note.
He should throw cinderblocks at it until the frame is fucked
stuff epoxy in the lock.
isn't that considered a "beater" bike? though it looks like it has QR's fr and Rr.
anyway, during the thanksgiving break go out of town and find a new beater.
what a douchebag.
keep a note of the serial #
put your contact info inside the innertube.
if you can prove its yours TAKE IT BACK otherwise you deserve to have your bike stolen esp if you can claim that you chained the seat down and put the handlebars in douchebag hipster configuration, who else would do that other than a big wuss like you
I wouldn't define bars flipped around like that a hipster thing. Old farts have been doing that for ages to make their position on the bike more upright.
Looks like whoever stole/bought it abandoned it. Cut the lock and take it back, although it hardly looks like it would be worth it.
quit being a note-writing nancy, grow a pair and steal the bike back. it's called a hacksaw: learn it. love it. use it.
Talk about some mean streets!
what's going on with those handle bars?
Flipped up to make it easier to ride. Negative side effect - it's retarded.
some people can ride with drops.
mostly junkies.
... why on earth would somebody bother to steal that?
Two threatening notes?!? We need this person on Obama's Iran diplomatic team ASAP!
FTW.
I'd wait around until they came back and ask them in person.
The wheels are mangled meaning it's been sitting around long enough for cars/trucks to have damaged it. No one is coming back for it any time soon.
Fuckin' newbies.
Grow a pair and take it back.
English puffer
Who are all these limp wristed letter writers? Is this some passive aggressive mid-west shit thats been transplanted to NYC? I don't remember any of this gay letter writing shit until recently.
I know NY apartments are cramped, but why do people have to park their bikes outside? Can't they get some of those ceiling hooks, ala Seinfeld?
yes! the eternally hanging bike!
maybe this weiner can rebuy a more better one on craigslist
"...more better one"??? WTF? Maybe you're thinking of the Spike Lee film "Mo' Better Blues", otherwise, fucking learn grammar!
holy shit, my girlfriend has that same exact bike. got it from a guy in gerritsen beach. except the handlebars aren't flipped up in that incredibly stupid way.
At least put another chain on it so whoever put it there can't disappear with it. And you know he's an ass for using the word Nolita.
My fellow cyclists:
Please stop using the words dude and bro.
It makes you look like a douche. I don't mind being blamed when you run red lights, but to have to be associated with those words is a step too far indeed.
My bike got stolen and I found the perp later called the police and they said the couldn't do jackshit cause they filed off the serial numbers and I had a police report and my info stashed in the handlbars then they left me high and dry with the bike perp. I did the only thing I could do and threaten serious injury and harm to him and he gave me back my bike. So violence or the promise of it does solve everything.
We seriously need to round 'em up and put 'em in a re-education camp.
If it yours you need to steal it back. Failing that you should use a sledge hammer to demolish the bike.
Save the letter writing for Valentine's Day.
if you're stupid enough to get let your bike get stolen then you don't deserve to have one
That`s BS. here`s laughing at you when you get your`s stolen, just a matter of time in the city
Bro,
Don't steal bikes bro.
Me and my 5 friends will slap you bro.
Don't steal bikes bro.
Bro, don't steal bikes.
Cheers
That's my bike, punk.
Love,
Deebo