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UPDATE: To Whom It May Concern: "Give Me Back My Bike!"

We've seen cyclists combat bicycle theft with aggression, but now they're going after the crooks with passive aggression. A biker apparently spotted his stolen Panasonic road bike — which was heisted from its Nolita spot back in April — chained to another rack earlier this month, so he taped two threatening notes to the seat.

"Have a good conscience or be an asshole -- your choice. Shit will come back around if you're the jerk, for sure," reads the first note, which was spotted by the blog ShadiNYC.

"I don't want to blame the wrong person because you may have re-bought 'your' bike on craigslist, but its [sic] mine and was fucking stolen in NOLITA back in APRIL when I was sick with bronchitis and too ill to ride it back home," a second letter continues. "In the event you are innocent, get in touch with me and maybe we can make a deal ... otherwise, you're a scum bag and fuck off."

Though less brutal than last month's bike thief beatdown video, it remains to be seen whether the notes will be as effective in recovering the bike.

We've emailed the author of the notes and we'll follow up if we receive a response.

UPDATE: Unfortunately, the notes didn't help the cyclist — who wished to remain anonymous — recover her bike.

"Being an oft-broke New Yorker, I had to give it a shot on the off chance it would get returned," said the cyclist, who noted that the new "owner" was the one who upturned the handle bars and chained the seat. "[The] guy at the nearby bodega was going to try and help me clip the lock, but didn't have the right tools. I know it's a shitty bike, but I have other stolen things to replace before I spend good money on anything better."

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

Comments [rss]

  • AnnaMerkin

    That's my bike, punk.



    Love,



    Deebo

  • marcasm

    Bro,



    Don't steal bikes bro.

    Me and my 5 friends will slap you bro.

    Don't steal bikes bro.

    Bro, don't steal bikes.



    Cheers

  • izf

    if you're stupid enough to get let your bike get stolen then you don't deserve to have one

  • crabbapple

    That`s BS. here`s laughing at you when you get your`s stolen, just a matter of time in the city

  • Running Man

    If it yours you need to steal it back. Failing that you should use a sledge hammer to demolish the bike.



    Save the letter writing for Valentine's Day.

  • babyhitler

    My bike got stolen and I found the perp later called the police and they said the couldn't do jackshit cause they filed off the serial numbers and I had a police report and my info stashed in the handlbars then they left me high and dry with the bike perp. I did the only thing I could do and threaten serious injury and harm to him and he gave me back my bike. So violence or the promise of it does solve everything.

  • New Baby Hitler

    We seriously need to round 'em up and put 'em in a re-education camp.

  • hunter.blatherer

    My fellow cyclists:

    Please stop using the words dude and bro.

    It makes you look like a douche. I don't mind being blamed when you run red lights, but to have to be associated with those words is a step too far indeed.

  • JenChungsBaby

    At least put another chain on it so whoever put it there can't disappear with it. And you know he's an ass for using the word Nolita.

  • 99centmenu

    holy shit, my girlfriend has that same exact bike. got it from a guy in gerritsen beach. except the handlebars aren't flipped up in that incredibly stupid way.

  • whitecastlerock

    maybe this weiner can rebuy a more better one on craigslist

  • New Baby Hitler

    "...more better one"??? WTF? Maybe you're thinking of the Spike Lee film "Mo' Better Blues", otherwise, fucking learn grammar!

  • mangell

    I know NY apartments are cramped, but why do people have to park their bikes outside? Can't they get some of those ceiling hooks, ala Seinfeld?

  • hubcap

    yes! the eternally hanging bike!

  • pencap75

    Who are all these limp wristed letter writers? Is this some passive aggressive mid-west shit thats been transplanted to NYC? I don't remember any of this gay letter writing shit until recently.

  • duckert

    English puffer

  • Wza

    Fuckin' newbies.

    Grow a pair and take it back.

  • WorksInDUMBO

    I'd wait around until they came back and ask them in person.

  • jibbly

    The wheels are mangled meaning it's been sitting around long enough for cars/trucks to have damaged it. No one is coming back for it any time soon.

  • tsol

    Two threatening notes?!? We need this person on Obama's Iran diplomatic team ASAP!

  • Avaz383

    FTW.

  • ... why on earth would somebody bother to steal that?

  • what's going on with those handle bars?

  • Liam

    Flipped up to make it easier to ride. Negative side effect - it's retarded.

  • JacqueMehoff

    some people can ride with drops.

    mostly junkies.

  • Mglocks

    Talk about some mean streets!

  • hotstepper

    quit being a note-writing nancy, grow a pair and steal the bike back. it's called a hacksaw: learn it. love it. use it.

  • jibbly

    Looks like whoever stole/bought it abandoned it. Cut the lock and take it back, although it hardly looks like it would be worth it.

  • potsmoker

    what a douchebag.

    keep a note of the serial #

    put your contact info inside the innertube.



    if you can prove its yours TAKE IT BACK otherwise you deserve to have your bike stolen esp if you can claim that you chained the seat down and put the handlebars in douchebag hipster configuration, who else would do that other than a big wuss like you

  • Liam

    I wouldn't define bars flipped around like that a hipster thing. Old farts have been doing that for ages to make their position on the bike more upright.

  • JacqueMehoff

    stuff epoxy in the lock.

    isn't that considered a "beater" bike? though it looks like it has QR's fr and Rr.

    anyway, during the thanksgiving break go out of town and find a new beater.

  • elpollodiablo

    He should throw cinderblocks at it until the frame is fucked

  • americaonline

    Should have stole it back and then left a note.

  • Thrillhouse

    Nice note bro. Can I try it? Just up and down the block, I swear.

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