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FINALLY: Filthy Bananas Will Be Individually Wrapped in Plastic!

101309bananas.jpg Since time immemorial, the only thing protecting the world's precious banana fruit from contamination has been the boring old peel. Well, Momma Nature, it's a new millennium, and it's time for a brand new bag! So 7-Eleven has come up with a new twist on an old classic: The company will now begin individually wrapping each banana sold in its stores in plastic. It's a start, but ultimately we'd like to see each banana also packaged in a bruise-resistant Styrofoam shell.

Starting this week, 7-Eleven is product-testing the wrapping at Dallas-area locations, and will then roll out the banana innovation to most of its 5,787 stores by early 2010. The plastic wrap was created by Fresh Del Monte, and besides keeping banana peels sanitary, it also keeps the fruit yellow and firm for five days by keeping most oxygen and moisture out. And when unwrapped, the 7-Eleven's Banana 2.0 will ripen more slowly.

CEO Joseph DePinto tells USA Today, "Our customers want yellow bananas — not brown." And they also want to do their part to make the Great Pacific Garbage Patch live up to its lofty name! Of course, tree huggers are wringing their hands, but Fresh Del Monte's spokesman points out that extending banana shelf life cuts the carbon footprint by reducing store deliveries. Check and mate. Plus, if this thing catches on, maybe the individual wrapping will spread to other fruit, and we'll never have to waste water rinsing off an apple again.

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Comments [rss]

  • skipgates

    Can't wait for the individually wrapped blueberries.

  • NannyState

    Just so you'd know, we recommend a water-based lube.

  • samarks

    It's the people wrapping them in plastic than what comes on the banana itself. Then again, would never buy fruit at a 7/11, but that's just me.

  • allthewine

    Crust punks and hipsters are stoked.

  • JLRodP

    It's a stupid idea. The only ones to actually get a wetty from this idea are the germ freaks, as if they actually eat the outer skin.

  • Past Taliban

    Here's an idea for Bernanke: start individually wrapping each dollar bill with Euros.

    OR with toilet paper. In either case it'll seem to be worth more.

  • S.K.

    Just what we need, more plastic in our landfills. Where's Bloomberg when we need him?

    Nature already provided the wrapping for bananas.

  • captainblackout

    Amen.

  • matty

    I prefer dill pickles in wrappers.You can get them at any fine purveyor of malt liquor in your area.

  • hunter.blatherer

    The plastic is not to keep the oxygen out. It's to keep the pesticides in.

  • Mr. Shankly
  • SighR

    Is this just a clever way of raising the price of a single banana?

  • fixer

    Charles Nelson Reilly would go to town with this, RIP.

  • longacre

    They should sell each one in a Banana Bunker. If you're a girl, it doubles as a fun toy when you get home!

  • Mr. Shankly

    Ribbed, for her pleasure.

  • militza

    oh man, I can't stop laughing at that!

  • hotstepper

    insert filthy phallic joke here ____________________.

  • valeriob

    It's true bananas ripen faster in a bunch. Just ask Debbie Myers.

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