Say A Hail Mary, Al Qaeda: The NFL's John Elway Is Scrambling

You may know John Elway from such a hits as Super Bowl XXXII and Home Improvement episode "The Eve of Construction." But the retired Denver Broncos' quarterback has now found a new drive in fighting terrorism, as you'll see in this gonzo instructional video "Recognizing the 8 Signs of Terrorism," which was produced in partnership with the Colorado governor's Office of Homeland Security, and the FBI, thanks to a federal Homeland Security grant.

The video ticks off the eight things for patriots to look for when paranoid and xenophobic in Colorado, or anywhere. It was produced by The Center for Empowered Living and Learning (The CELL), a self-described "non-profit institution dedicated to addressing the most important global issue of our time - terrorism." The CELL operates a terrorism museum in Denver, centered around the multimedia exhibit, "Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere: Understanding the Threat of Terrorism." The $7 million exhibit was paid for by Lawrence Mizel, a Denver Republican Party donor, who was also a maxed-out contributor to John McCain's presidential campaign. Denver is also where suspected terrorist Najibullah Zazi was nabbed after leaving Queens, for which Elway received no credit.

So for anyone who was worried about terrorists getting back rubs and exfoliating body scrubs from the Obama administration, you'll definitely sleep better now that Hall of Famer Elway and Republican aristocrats are picking up the slack. But when will the CELL open up a location here in New York? Exhibit highlights like the sarin gas display would definitely sell a lot of tickets to tourists from places like Colorado.

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By John Del Signore in News on October 7, 2009 1:18 PM

Comments [rss]

JacqueMehoff

I fought off six Al-Qaedas.

Cranky Old Man

Wow, how exciting it must be to believe that your little cow town is on the A-list of places that international terrorists want to attack. I hope that Denver doesn't get attacked by the next Timothy McVeigh or some other boring American radicals. That would really spoil the cachet, huh? Don't want to be lumped in with dreary and boring Oklahoma City now, right? Just like NY, DC and LA, Denver is so urban and hip. I know because I visited an area dubbed 'LODO' where they have overpriced martinis and glamorous people. I was sooo jealous that I didn't live there, I wanted to cry.

CR

Hey - 9-11 bombers learned to fly in middle America... If I remember correctly, they said they didn't need to know how to land the plane...

mdow

Shouldn't Chuck Norris be narrating this? He could add his "tribute" revolver as a tie-in and everything (http://www.americaremembers.co....

John Elway doesn't even have a mustache--is this the kind of sissy we want teaching us about the terror?

hotstepper

chuck norris reference: check

mustache reference: check

use of the word "sissy": check

comment score: A+

good show sport.

longacre

This organization was probably founded by Tom Clancy fans. In the "The Sum of All Fears", the nuclear bomb is detonated outside Mile High Stadium in Denver during the Super Bowl. I don't recall which teams were playing in the book, and I don't think John Elway is mentioned, but he was the Broncos QB when the book was published.