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In a harrowing report, CBS introduces us to yet another thing to dread and fear, courtesy of that innovative R&D team at Al Qaeda: Rectal bombs. It's been revealed that an Al Qaeda operative, who last month tried to assassinate Saudi Arabia's counter terrorism chief, detonated explosives in his butt. Abdullah Asieri had arranged a meeting with Prince Mohammed Bin Nayef to talk about a truce, but it was just a ruse to get close to him with his exploding ass.
Asieri was able to get past two sets of airport security, including metal detectors, and spend 30 hours in the close company of the prince's own secret service agents, before detonating the bomb during his meeting with Nayef, who was slightly injured. Naturally, the airport screening process is about to get a whole lot more invasive, unless the TSA just decides to ban assholes entirely. Here's CBS's report:
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This would be so hilarious if it wasn't so deadly serious.
SBD, Silent But(t) Deadly
The jokes sometime write themselves
That's some explosive bowel movement.
I think you just spoiled the plot for the next "South Park" episode.
Weapons of ass destruction?
Seems like a shitty way to go.
Allah Ackbutt.
-1
That joke bombed.
I thought it was a bad kebab.
like Three Kings.
they keep maps up there. be stealin gold.
Oh, great. Now we will have to stand in line and get rectal exams to get on airplanes, I imagine.
I think it's more likely to be a full-body MRI in place of mags.
This is getting ridiculous.
Seriously, why would you fanatically believe in a good that would tell you to put explosives up your ass? Conversely, is that like bad deity humor.
Mohammed: "Hey, Jesus, watch this guy. I'm going to get him to shove an IED up his rectum!"
Comment of the day.
oh shit.
14 posts and still nothing on "Asieri"?
How the hell did the guy go for over 30 hours without pooping? Was the bomb made of cheese?
Opium.
These people are professionals. I heard they can completely control the dilation of their anuses to contract and expand at will.
I can do that. Can't you?
Simple: look for the guy walking funny like he just rode into town on a horse. An ethically treated horse from the PETA farm up the old dusty trail.
I guess the detonator was a simple "pull my finger".
ROFLMAO. THAT is the comment of the day.
Hahaha, I love this thread.
Oh shit, you really should watch the cbs clip, the reporter actually calls this guy a "trojan bomber" I can't handle this.
People were so angry they wanted to tear him a new one! Then he beat them to it.
I guess the Saudi Arabian's celebrated over a cold glass of fermented prune juice.
If they banned assholes from planes, the airlines would go bankrupt. And then we'd be looking at yet another bailout of a flatulent industry.
He looks like a regular brain surgeon.
Dedication: Sticking a bomb up your ass.
Gives the term "atomic wedgie" an whole new meaning.
HEYOOO!!!
I guess you could say he had explosive diarrhea.
HEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOO
CIA official: I see you were lying on your polygraph test about having a bomb.
Terrorist: I wasn't lying, but I did just pull it out of my ass!
HAHAHAHAHHA
Cheeky bastards.
How come GW Bush never exploded?
Jesus. I mean, it's sad to say it, but I wonder if he mooned them before detonating. It would make sense. You, know.. shrapnel would be directed like out of a cannon.
That's a good idea.
Blast 'em with sh1t!!
Amazing. Islam forbids alcohol consumption yet does not proscribe putting objects up the butt?
Indeed. If done in observance of the proper rituals, it's one of Islam's most moving ceremonies!
ASSASSIN!
Fbbbbbbfffftttttt.
Wow.
Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!
oi vey.
Is there no end to all this jocularity?
Ooh. At least he can tell his 72 virgins in heaven that he isn't a virgin!
ha!
Is that what they mean by a dirty bomb?
That look on his face just screams, 'I have something ready to detonate in my ass.'
Now you all know what REALLY happens behind the scenes right after Nathan's hotdog eating contest ends.
Aren't they supposed to shave themselves bald before pulling shit like that?
Travelling as a brown person just got a heckuva lot worse.
Assbombing! So what your point?