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The stroller wars continue in Park Slope, and the frontline has moved from the sidewalk to the classy little romantic Italian restaurants, where everyone's a cry baby!
Old man Loffredo recently paid a visit to the neighborhood's fairly new establishment, Provini, where he was encountered with a great wine list and a healthy portion of the "You'll never get to be an adult in Park Slope without tolerating my kids" crowd. Not a very good pairing! Indeed, one toddler even broke a wine glass in his presence; behavior that garnered eye rolls from the waitstaff and should clearly be reserved for less fancy pants places. Take it to Chuck E. Cheese, stroller pushers!
It sounds like if it were up to the purveyors, the parental units and their glass-shattering spawn wouldn't be allowed near the establishment. Loffredo points out that "Provini deliberately doesn't have high chairs, I was secretly told by a waitress, and there certainly isn't any room for strollers, but the exquisite wine list alone should keep kids out, don't you think? Not in Park Slope, where pathetic parents don't want to live with the choices they've made, so they crash everyone else's party." Burn. Looks like the stroller mafia just got itself a new villain! [via OTBKB]
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I've been starting to eat out less often due to too many encounters with boorish behavior in restaurants. I thought it was just me getting old.
Its too bad because it looks like the only way that restaurant management is at fault is in selecting that particular location.
I've made nasty comments to people with babies/small children in fancy restaurants before. Really though, I feel bad for the kids. It must suck to have parents who treat you like you're a mini-adult and drag you to boring-ass restaurants. On the other hand, running amok screaming in Jean Georges is probably fun for the kid...
About 75% of today's parents need to go to Parenting 101, wherein they will learn that their children are in fact children, and they are the adults. It makes me wonder how shitty their parents were, to raise people who think this is an acceptable way to raise your kids.
Why not just a comment, why nasty. It seems you relish the next chance as much as you cherish having done it in the past. Do you seek out confrontation. Makes me wonder about your parents.
Oh yeah, I wait with bated breath at each restaurant I go to, just hoping and praying there will be obnoxious crotchfruit around so I can confront their parents. I definitely don't go to eat food and enjoy myself.
bwahahaha.
How about 'loindroppings' or 'sex trophies'?
more:
“anklebiters,” “crib lizards,” “crotch fruit,” “fartlings,” “germ mongers,” “semen demons,” “vomit comets,” “spawn,” and “sprogs.”
Loindroppings wins in my book.
It would seem I am correct. You even came back to this site to be nasty.
And not even clever as you didn't even pick a good slang term for kid. "crotchfruit" that's what you have, I mean really the people after you blew your weak ass shit away. At the least it is "crotchfruit byproduct"
While I love Loindroppings a better one, in your case is probably Future Boss.
I don't live in Park Slope but sympathize with lofreddo.
I had a 4-year old brat in the seat behind me act out during a two-hour airplane ride, while mommy thought little Jeffrey was so cute.
After an hour, I turned to the child and very nicely said, 'Jeffrey, please do not yell."
He was quiet for the rest of the trip.
What the hell was preventing mommy from saying that, except her own self-indulgence?
That's amazing. I'm always tempted, but usually too scared to pick up the slack for other's lack of parenting.
Many times, kids will listen to other adults, but not their parents. It's the they know the parents will always love them syndrome.
Even with good, charming kids it can be exasperating. Ever listen to a parent spend a good twenty minutes discussing the menu with a clearly bright four-year-old, so that the kid can decide what she wants to eat? Damn the teaching opportunity - the kid's friggin' four! Just tell the kid what she wants to eat. "You want the chicken fingers. You like chicken fingers" "Ummm...Oh-kay!"
Anddd here's another 100+ comment bitchfest. Wee!!
You don't have to read it!
And I get angry when I go to Dressler and I'm seated next to a loud hipster douchebag or I have to listen to a horsed-out fashionista yap on her phone when I'm trying to peruse the wine list at Del Posto, but that's what I expect when I dine there. When in Rome...don't complain about the Romans.
full of win
Full of Shit, actually
Yo, Jen! "Old Man Loffredo?!" LOL! I actually am raising an 8 year old and a 12 year old, so I feel pretty young, and also, when I take it to those parents, I'm not speaking from a vacuum. I have kids, but I'm also an adult who needs a little "romance," as you aptly put it. But even moreso, as a psychotherapist who has worked with many children, the kids also really need their parents to have romantic time alone. So, I will continue to lovingly hammer them at will every time they bring the tots where they don't belong. Thanks for the coverage!
PL
http://fullpermissionliving.blogspot.com/
"as a psychotherapist who has worked with many children, the kids also really need their parents to have romantic time alone."
This sounds like bullshit but I'm not a "psychotherapist who has worked with many children".
the kids also really need their parents to have romantic time alone."
as in, to keep from getting their misbehaving asses tanned from here 'til Tuesday. If momma aint happy, nobody's happy.
Peter Loffredo for Brooklyn Borough President!
who's got more street cred... park slope residents or upper east side residents? aren't they the same genre of douche these days? that's a rhetorical question.
Is Park Slope the most hated neighborhood on blogs? There never seems to be any shortage of snarky stuff written about it.
I think Williamsburg is (and rightfully so, from what I've seen there)
I manage a popular but small UES restaurant and I can attest, parenting today aint what it used to be. People just assume we have somewhere to put their huge strollers and then they do not control their obnoxios kids, ruining other diners evening. When I was growing up, we were not allowed to act up. When my parents wanted a nice night out at a better restaurant, they got a babysitter. And they did not do rounds of shots with toddlers in tow like I saw a party do just last night! I felt like telling thme no but I cannot.
Exactly. Parents that can't or won't control their little...angels don't get to eat at nice places. They get to order chinese or stand in line at McDonalds.
These type of parents are so rude! I was taken out to dinner recently on my birthday, not in Park Slope but on the UES, and there was a huge round table in the restaurant with about 10 moms getting drunk while their spawn ran around the restaurant. One little tyke came up to our table and said to my husband (!) who is rather bald, "You have your hair on backwards." We are not rich and do not spend our restaurant dollars freely, so it is very disappointing to have a rare dinner out ruined by these idiot parents.
"You have your hair on backwards" is fucking hilarious. I am L'ing O L in real life over here.
As a parent of a 1 year old, I can tell you a little common sense is all it takes to figure out whether or not you're bringing your child to an appropriate restaurant.
#1: Do they have high chairs? Nope? Okay, No kids.
#2: Are the lights dimmed in the dining area? Yes? No kids.
#3: Is it after 8pm? No kids.
See easy.
See? Common sense, all it takes :) I was a server in the casual dining industry for about 5 1/2 years through college. Sure we welcomed kids, but parents need to know when to keep their kid quiet and when to let them cry it out. Sitting in a packed restaurant with other people is not the time to teach your kid that screaming won't get them attention... that is unless they want to pay for everyone's meals they have ruined.
great rule(s) of thumb. i plan to use it if i ever have kids in the city!
What time are all of you eating dinner? If we go to dinner before 7 we fully expect there to be spawn.
I've run into 2-year-olds at Craftsteak at 10:30pm on a Saturday. Still not as bad as the time I was in Vegas for the 4th of July, and at 1am the casinos were still stuffed full of idiot tourists and their sobbing, screaming, exhausted spawn. One little girl threw a full on tantrum in the entrance to the bathroom in Caesars, and her mother just let her lay there blocking the whole door while everyone in the bathroom was trapped behind her.
What I find interesting in all of this is that the restaurant is trying to discourage parents by not having high chairs or room for strollers. That's a very passive-aggressive stance to take when they could just as easily say outright "No Kids!" You're a private business, and have the right to refuse service to someone that is going to disrupt the dining experience of those around them.
And if the neighbors with kids catch wind of this and cause a stink? Who Cares? You didn't want them in there anyway, because they'd drag in their misbehaved kids with them. Too many parents go out and expect others to keep an eye on their kids while they remain blissfully unaware. Encouraging them to come in for a romantic night away from the kids might even be all it would take to smooth over some of those feathers.
And UES restaurant manager who allowed the parents of a bunch of kids to do shots: yes, you can do something, REFUSE SERVICE!! You do not have to serve them alcohol if it makes you feel like it would become a problem for you or your staff. Simply tell them you think they've "had enough" after the first round. I don't think that places that welcome kids shouldn't have wine lists or alcohol, or that place that serve drinks can't have kids in them, but a little common sense on both sides goes a long way.
That's what I was thinking. Why not just ban kids from the restaurant? Problem solved.
Not sure if it's legal to keep children out, unless there's a stripper on the payroll.
Chicka-Boom-Boom
It is legal. Restaurants have the right to refuse service to customers that they feel will cause a disruption to their ability to do business. It's the same set of rules that govern all workplaces. It is still a business, and if they feel they are not equipped or that they are not appropriate for children, they can certainly refuse to let them in.
If you are looking for some idea of how it works, do a Google search for articles about A Taste of Heaven in Chicago. They are in a very up-and-coming neighborhood and a few years ago they banned children.
Same way that some clubs only let in 25-year-olds, even though the drinking age is 21.
@widegrin:
Your comment nominated for Nobel Prize.
What a little common sense can achieve.
As a parent of two, now-grown Park Slope kids, I can tell you that your kids turn out just fine if their deprived of unleashed autonomy until their teen-aged years. They actually need some guidance from time to time. That's why they call the job "parenting" not
"anarchist."
Q: Are Park Slope Parents Killing the Romance?
A: Yes.
In other countries many societies are children-friendly. American is not.
I've seen people snap at mothers with kids in McDonald's to feed your kids at home. WTF?
In more child-friendly countries the entire family goes out to a nice full-service restaurant, but never to the exclusive 4-5 star ones. That's for the grown-ups only and it's rude to bring children.
In these child-friendly countries you speak of, perhaps the parents do a better job of teaching good behavior to their kids. I have no problem with children who know when it's time to be "seen but not heard." It's when they run amok with their parent's tacit approval that I get all unhinged.
Yes, the kids behave better because it's family. Grandpoppa and the aunts are not going to let the kids act out. The nuclear family isn't doing a good job as the traditional extended family did, in these cases.
Also in some other cultures it's ok for other people to reprimand a child whom they do not know. They'd be sued in the good old US of A.
I don't buy that. I constantly see foreign tourists smiling indulgently while their little monsters "run amok."
I don't buy that. I constantly see foreign tourists smiling indulgently while their little monsters "run amok."
And, in other "child friendly" cultures, a kid who acts up in public will get his/her little ass whipped - so the little brats KNOW not to make a scene in public!
What everyone has said. The cultures might be more 'child-friendly', but the children are also better behaved, the parents are more considerate, and the establishments are better about booting them out when necessary.
it's this sense of park slope entitlement that rears it's head again. They want to enjoy the perks of being parents and the perks of single autonomy and we all have to suffer. If you have a kid, it will hinder every aspect of your life, you should suffer in silence. Your reward is that your genetic material will be passed along and that they will visit you in a retirement home every couple of years until you die and they will squabble about their inheritance. children are beautiful and cute but they are also intolerable and life draining. remember that next time you fuck.
The parent also want to enjoy the illusion their kids are better, and they are better parents, because they all eat top dollar sushi when the kid just wants chicken fingers with fries.
The better parents recognize reality and economics by going to diners and decent pizzerias.
Just put up "No Babies" signs...
Places like that are one of the many reasons for babysitters.
No Shirt, No Shoes, Baby, No Service.
Bringing your dirty little baby to highschool is far more glamorous.
if you want to control your children then you should just do what the church of jesus christ does. Lie. Kids are unformed and easy to mold and are highly susceptible to superstition. If you want them to eat something just tell them it will give them superhuman strength if they eat brocolli, If you want them to not do something then tell them that your magical nosegoblins will come for them at night. Fear and superstition will keep them in line.
I'm about to be a father, and I cannot imagine why I would take my kid to a place like this.
For people who like to do it, taking a kid to a semi-fancy place for brunch or early dinner (I'm talking 5:30pm) would be okay with me. But, why would you subject your kid or the other patrons to it at a busy, late dinner hour?
I agree with the commenter above who said that if a place doesn't have high chairs, has "mood" lighting, and it's after 8pm, why would you bring a kid in there? I know I won't.
Oh, Jen Carlson, all I can say to you is this: I hope you don't ever have kids of your own. These posts and your snarky comments will one day come back to haunt you if you do.
I highly doubt this.
I'm all for trying to keep your life as normal as possible but there are too many parents that just don't get it. It's not all about you and you little world. There are other people out there trying to have a life and you ill behaved kid is not making that possible.
I understand that kids will make mistakes and I'm pretty tolerant of that. When your child runs over my foot with their scooter while I'm walking down the street and neither you or your child apologizes, then you are a BAD PARENT!!! Maybe when someone finally looses it and whacks you over the head with the scooter (or whatever it happens to be) you will get it.
if we keep pushing these self-indulgent buttheads east eventually they will end up in the ocean
Start asking for the no-kid zone in restaurants, and if they don't have one, leave.
Train the waitstaff to cajole the kiddies into ordering the most expensive items on the menu and watch the fun...
OK, Jen...
"Take it Chuck E. Cheese stroller pushers!"
That's just idiotic.
Not just because you're missing the word 'it' and a comma...
Clearly you are speaking on behalf a group of people who moved to NY shortly after college from the suburbs of Indianapolis or Dubuque or someplace else and the idea of raising a family in NYC just doesn't fit into the narrow concept you have about what this city (or a particulat neighborhood within this city) should be like.
Of course parents should make sure their children behave in public - anywhere - and certain restaurants at certain times are not appropriate for children... but patronizing local establishments is one of the great things about living in the city. Suggesting that parents should be quarantined to their home or Chuck E. Cheeses exposes your ignorance of so much of what makes this city great. While my wife was pregnant, we went to the same local restaurant repeatedly. The owner was thrilled when we first brought the little one by.
"Old man Loffredo" has every right to say what he wants about his patrons. And any patron has every right to call out a fellow patron who is disturbing his or her experience. I think it's pretty clear where and when it's OK to bring a kid out to eat.
Perhaps the sight of a child reminds you that you may someday be responsible for something more than blogging for Gothamist, and this scares you. If you do wind up raising a family in the city, I hope you will have learned something about life outside of your little world by then.
If not, and you find the task of having kids in the city too challenging, then you can move out to New Jersey or Indianapolis or Dubuque or wherever else... and New York will suffer even less from your absense than you have from having had to deal with children in restaurants. Then you'll have no choice but to take your kids to Chuck E. Cheese (or maybe the Olive Garden.)
In the meantime, if you find the reality of families in New York to be so intolirable, you can always quarantine yourself... something tells me that if you have a boxed set of Sex & The City or Gossip Girl, you'll be OK.
Does "intolirable" come with an 'it' and a comma?
haha - I deserved that :)
...'particulat' + 'absense' - I was tired from spending the evening with my child at Al Di La. But that's no excuse. Even the Web kiosk at Chuck E Cheese offers a browser with a spell-checker.
Look, you chose to breed.
And with that act comes responsibilities.
One of which is teaching your spawn how to act in public - and punishing them if they don't behave
Another one of which is not bringing your kid to places that are not appropriate for children
Plenty of New Yorkers (regular New Yorkers - not entitled Park Slopeians) take their kids to McDonalds, Burger King, Chuck E. Cheese or other establishments designed for children - they do not inflict their brats on spaces that are not kid appropriate.
Just go to any working class neighborhood in the city and you'll see what I mean.
So no, this is not a "New York parenting" thing - and no, I'm not from Iowa (I was born in St Vincent's Hospital and have lived my entire life in the city) - it's an acting like a parent, instead of an entitled clueless asshole thing.
i have an idea for a disturbing experience.
EVERYONE WALK OUT, DONT ASK FOR THE CHECK.
Leave parkslope blogger mommy and her brats in there alone. slash the tires on her hummer stroller.
The manager and waitstaff will get the idea.
i find it funny that so many people have such strong opinions about how to raise kids, yet don't have them. i don't either. but why all the anger? park slope is loaded with fools who have and don't have kids. when did you children move here?? quit cryin'. the real laugh is most of you will have them and be just as obnoxious as you are now.
No one cares about parenting. The issue is the lack of consideration for others and the ridiculous sense of entitlement that seems to be the norm for a large group of Park Slope parents.
there is so much entitlement, yes. but are the park slope parents really putting you out? you choose to live where you live. if you live in the slope you live among the strollers and nanny's. i don't, i go further on the F train. stop with your white problems. all of these sick, white problems.
y'all cry about naughty kids, go somewhere where where kids and parents don't have the option to eat in a restaurant.
what a privilege to blog about this.
You don't have to be a parent to recognize that a child is being disruptive, and to recognize that it is inappropriate when other people are trying to enjoy their meals/etc.
And our children will be just as obnoxious? Hardly. Some of actually understand the term "responsible parenting." I take my godchildren out all the time. They know that if they choose to misbehave, Auntie Roe WILL take them out of the park/restaurant/store immediately, they won't be going back, and that will be the end of their fun for the day. Interestingly, since it's happened to them a few times, they don't act up when they're out in public with me now.
How do you know which posters are parents?
I guess it's not a surprise that all of the finger-pointing actually sounds as though it were written by children....oh, the name-calling and complaining about your (the naysayers) inviolate customer experience. I'm a park slope parent and feel sorry for those of you that have to take a dump on other people's lives to authenticate your precious "New York" life. I have just as much right to bring my beautiful one year old into a restaurant, drink, be merry, and do my best to keep him under control. If you don't like it, maybe you can get four star meals delivered to you in the bubble? What do you drive? What clothes do you wear? What's your baggage, man?
i just can't get over the fact that most of these people who write in WILL have kids! but they are so full of their ways and carefree lifestyles and think they can do it better.
we will run into those idiots in a few years, on line, complaining about how tired they are. yuk!
and for the men who are even more pretentious, you will most certainly end up children who no one wants to be around. just know that.