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Drunk Driving Nun Nearly Hits Kids Before Crashing into Tree

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Sister Lauren Hanley's mug shot
A nun who spent Tuesday afternoon knocking back too much "Jesus juice" was arrested for drunk driving after plowing into a tree on Long Island. Sister Lauren Hanley, 68, is the "spiritual development director" at Wantagh's St. Frances de Chantal Church, which is where she started drinking around 3 p.m. that day. Some three hours later, she was careening through residential streets in the church's 2006 Toyota Corolla, with a blood-alcohol level of 0.18, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08.

Police say she narrowly missed some kids playing Wiffle Ball on their lawn, and one of the children, 14-year-old Samantha Stein, actually attends a Catholic high school run by Hanley's religious order! As Sister Hanley sideswiped a parked car and gunned it up onto the lawn, Samantha yelled to her mother, "Some wacko lady is driving crazy on the lawn!" A neighbor says that after "zigzagging" across two lawns, Hanley drove back onto the street, going against traffic, and crashed into a tree. 11-year-old Alex Stein tells the Post, "They teach us about drinking and driving in school, and to see a nun do it is surprising."

Police found a water bottle filled with liquid that smelled like alcohol in the vehicle. Sister Hanley was unhurt, and released on her own recognizance; she faces a maximum one year in jail if convicted. Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen Rice tells reporters, "Miss Hanley holds a position of significant public trust, which makes this disturbing allegation all the more shocking." Yes, let's pray this shocking clerical misconduct is just an isolated incident.

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By John Del Signore in on September 3, 2009 3:31 PM

Comments [rss]

  • NannyState

    It's no big deal because she took a vow of Absolut Chastity.

  • brooklynbird

    Driver is a woman of the broth...as opposed to one of the cloth.

  • Clarice City

    This totally calls for a new drink:



    The Sister McSauce



    4 oz. of Vodka

    2 oz. of Hawiian Punch

    Dash of Tobasco

    Serve in old water bottle



    Sweet and fruity with a just a dash of unpredicatble crazy.

  • dante

    I see Sister Mary Mojito is a member of the Sisters of St. Joseph -- one of the strictest orders. That alone explains the drinking.

  • dante

    I see Sister Mary Mojito is a member of the Sisters of St. Joseph. That is one of the strictest orders.

  • r1b2

    Did an 11-year old really say "...to see a nun do it is surprising." What 11-year old speaks that way? "Surprising?"

  • r1b2

    Did an 11-year old really say "...to see a nun do it is surprising." What 11-year old speaks that way? "Surprising?"

  • It is suspiciously like priests & nuns don't have magical powers & are just people in funny clothes...weird.

  • mocanlagunas

    Yeah, what's the difference between a burka and a nun's habit?

  • ides_of_march

    Well she sure knows how to put the fear of God into those little brats.

  • ides_of_march

    Drunk driving is a very bad habit.

  • Potty Boy

    I'll bet you thought that one would go unappreciated.

  • nick

    that's got to be the saddest mug shot i've seen

  • Clarice City

    It would be so much better if she were in the habit.

  • Clarice City

    Sorry for all the posts everyone. I went to Catholic school. I'm enjoying this way too much.

  • Clarice City

    That's the bewildered expression of a happy drunk.

  • mrguy

    i'd say that nick nolte, rip torn, and james brown all give her a run for her money on the sad mug shot list.

  • It is!

  • jibbly

    So you can't fuck, but you're allowed to drink?



    Or is it, you can't fuck SO you're allowed to drink?

  • yytttt

    Wasn't the most famous nun, Sister Nancy, talking about jesus juice when she said it would, "bring a bam bam. what a bam bam."

  • Kojak

    Kids still play Wiffle Ball?

  • Potty Boy

    I had a killer fastball that went up and away, and a slider that Guidry would have been envious of.

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