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Do you have a silky-smooth voice that sounds great filtered through static, feedback, and screeching train brakes? Then this could be your big, um, break: NYC Transit has allocated funds to expand their Dedicated Announcers Program, which broadcasts announcements through individual sections of the subway system containing between four and 22 stations. And the subway's customer communications director, Termaine Garden, actually seems to believe these announcements are intelligible: "We look for professional voices to make professional sounding announcements. Our goal is perfection." A noble pursuit, but how about a little mediocrity first—with all the garbled static, most of these announcements make as much sense as a Sonic Youth feedback jam. Currently 33 announcers cover 15 posts throughout the system, and 14 more are going to be hired soon. After the Daily News reported on the "elite group" yesterday, some readers even showed up at the MTA building to try auditioning. One hopeful, Anthony Paterson, a 55-year-old unemployed chauffeur from Long Island, explained, "I've been told by many people I have great voice." We hope he gets it, and look forward to not hearing a word he's saying.
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I agree. Jake is making the Extra Extras more thick than say 3-4 bold ones.
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Bob Sheppard for voice of all NYC
I would enjoy subway announcments from Vin Scully.
He's busy recording the audio book of George W. Bush's biography.
"Hello, this is Morgan Freeman. There will be delays on the F train this weekend because of construction. But don't let that stop you from exploring this great city--get busy living, or get busy dying." (bonus points if you heard his voice in your head while reading this.)
As long as it isn't Doucheberg whiny voice or Quinn's Rosie ODonell voice.
Talk about a job with low expectations.
Harvey Keitel.
Harvey Keitel indeed. Sadly, can't find a clip of SNL Episode 337 anywhere....
There's a guy on the F line that has a voice made in heaven! He should be on a radio station not announcing the next stop.
Sometimes he even makes nice comments about the stops.
I know this guy! He's what inspired my Bob Sheppard comment. Makes that god-awful commute to Jamaica just a tad better.
If Patrick Stewart did all the subway announcements I wouldn't mind the armpits in my face as much when it gets super crowded.
Samuel Jackson:
"We are delayed because there are mothafuckin snakes on this train!"
Incidentally didn't he get a settlement from the city back when he was a struggling actor because the subway dragged him through a tunnel after trapping him halfway through a closing door?
We should ask Michael Jacks... er.
Or how about Billy Ma... hm.
I know!! Isaac Hay.. eerrr, i mean barry whi.. ooh man, hoboy, whoops... the guy from crash test dummies? he's still alive right?
They need to find a voice that is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.
Three words: Pee Wee Herman.
HeHA!
Jeremy Irons.
I'm a big fan of subway drivers that make their own announcements. This is the best one I've heard, on the N train.
Conductor: "Ladies and gentleman. We are not the NYPD, we are not the NYFD. We are not New York's finest or bravest. We are the MTA. We keep it moving underground. Ya heard?"
Man, I HATE it when conductors get all "clever" and add in their own quips. 99.9% of the time they are not funny, and 100% of the time they are unnecessary. You want a captive audience? Go to Open Mic Night at the Ha-Ha House.
Stick to the script Chuckles, it's your day job.
Follow Jet Blew -s lead and get these celebrity types to do the pre-recorded stuff..A different person for each stop, so when you hear Fran Drescher scream "TRANSFA TO THE C TRAIN HAHAHAHAAH" you can have an excuse run like hell.
On a more serious note, I think 93% of the reason you can't hear the announcements is because the person with the microphone is either 3 feet from it or has their mouth stuffed with bubblegum and old gym socks, or both. There's one guy on the G that I can hear perfectly fine, and ya know.... maybe it's just that train that he happens to be driving, but it's more plausible that most of the time the conductor just doesn't know how to talk (in to a microphone).
Oh god, that pic. I have to take the L from Union Square into Williamsburg tonight.
James Earl Jones.