Whale Washes Up in NJ

Sharks, monsters, and now whales are washing up on shore. This morning in New Jersey (Monmouth Beach, to be exact), a 20 to 30-foot long humpback whale was discovered. WCBS reports that "...the stomach was distended. The smell was not terrific, as you could well imagine." Allegedly the heat had destroyed the whale's insides, so scientists were unable to take samples from it. However, because of bruising they believe it may have suffered injuries after being hit by a boat. Later today it will be cut into pieces for burial somewhere on the beach, until then beachgoers are advised to stay at least 100 yards away. More depressing images here.

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Narwhal! I do not approve!

whatever you do, don't try to blow it up

Oh come on, a few hundred pounds of TNT and this problem is in the past... until blubber-rain starts falling.

This is nothing, you should check out Garden State Plaza on a Saturday afternoon.

Sad story...the whale was reportedly drawn to land upon seeing all of the whale tails sported by girls at Jersey Shore bars.

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Were its organs intact?

no, the rabbis had already gotten to it

"Whale Washes Up in NJ"
And was immediately indicted for corruption.

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