Death From Above to Mosquitos: Spraying Starts Monday!

Don't you love the smell of larvicide in the morning? To pre-emptively combat West Nile virus and eradicate mosquito larvae before they eradicate us, the Health Department will be spraying "marsh and other non-residential areas of Queens, the Bronx and Staten Island." Because these mosquito hotbeds are inaccessible by ground vehicles, helicopters will be deployed to exterminate the brutes, who are believed to be breeding rapidly in these areas. The spraying is scheduled for Monday through Wednesday, between the hours of 6 a.m. and 7 p.m. But instead of just napalming the area and getting it over with, those bleeding hearts at the Health Department will be using VectoBac™ CG and/or VectoLex™ CG, which officials say contain "naturally occurring bacteria" and are approved by the EPA and state Department of Environmental Conservation. (Jeez, why not just give them a warm cup of soup and a blood transfusion, too?) And in a remarkable breach of security, the Health Department website has leaked the full list of targets for the strike, so at least you'll now how close you are to the kill zone.