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The big bad Big Box IKEA is the latest to ostracize breastfeeding moms from their establishment. One Brooklyn mom tells her recent story of being banished to the bathroom when she tried to feed her 6 1/2 month old something other than Swedish meatballs at the store:
On Wednesday I was in IKEA Red Hook in the middle of breastfeeding, fully covered, when I was told I had to stop doing "that" and go to the nearby family bathroom. The IKEA employee and security guards were extremely rude to us. I was hustled off to the bathroom and then had to wait because someone else was using it. I was humiliated, my daughter was upset from being interrupted in the middle of her feed. When eventually I gave up and headed for the car to finish feeding, the security guards who had seen the entire event insisted on checking my receipts. I'm putting together a formal complaint to IKEA. I was wondering if this has happened to anyone else?This from an establishment selling reindeer meat during the holiday season. For the record, public breastfeeding is legal anytime and anywhere (here's a handy card to carry around from the NYCLU). We reached out to IKEA for a comment on this incident, but have yet to hear back. In March the Brooklyn Library made a public apology after one of their security guards scolded a woman for feeding her child in their branch.
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When store employees try to check my receipts, I usually just tell them "no" and leave.
I wish more people did that.
I hate that. It never occurred to me to say no and just leave.
wow, someone smart is going to sue IKEA with the help of the NYCLU... They are not to be effed with.
BREAKING: IKEA security is staffed by the same minimum wage dropouts that work everywhere from Modell's to Target.
Oh god not this shit again. I hate it when the Breast Nazis get on their soapbox. PLEASE spare us all this! Please!
jacking off is perfectly normal, but you don't see ME jacking off in the reindeer meat section, do you? SAVE IT FOR HOME!
Look forward to the impending pro-breast taking place amongst the bergsbos.
Side note: this woman actually sounds entirely reasonable but yes, there are elements of the lactivist movement that can be grating.
I agree. Keep it at home. Tits are basically to enhance the sexual experience. I dont need some cow breast look ruining certain images and conceptions I have in my head.
Himmler, I have no kids and do not plan on breast feeding when I do have them, but that comment was just ignorant on SO many levels.
successful troll is successful
You are a fucking IDIOT.
I smell 100+ comments...
Its up to 41 and its 11AM...I think its gonna make it! :-)
These stories always leave out the important information, such as: was she covered up and nursing discreetly or was she exposing her disgusting mommy boobs to the world and then got offended when she's told to cover up or use the restroom to nurse? Telling her to cover up is quite different from telling a mother she's not allowed to nurse.
If she was covered and being discrete then IKEA should not have told her to go to the ladies room and the lady probably has a real case.
If she was being a typical exhibitionist breast feeding feminazi looking to cause trouble and deliberately make people feel so uncomfortable that they complained to IKEA management and then management told her to use the ladies room, then IKEA did nothing wrong.
See the words "fully covered" in the first sentence of her story.
she said she was 'fully covered'.
I still think there's nothing wrong with sending her to the family bathroom, or to a bench in the entrance area. She was probably sitting comfortably on a sofa (= Ikea merchandise) for who knows how long....
squirrel: you are a f*cking idiot. I can't even begin to tell you how completely ignorant your comment is. And I do hope you continue jerking off as opposed to actually getting laid and therefore possibly procreating.
Hey guy. I'd like you to meet the Reply button.
Eating in a bathroom is disgusting. These big stores can afford to put nursing "stations" in their stores to satisfy the boobaphobs.
Too bad Squirrel's mom didn't smother him at birth.
Apparently his mom fed him jizz @ birth, hence his comparing breastfeeding to jacking off...
Eating in a bathroom is nasty - the idea that that's a good place to feed anyone, especially an infant, is gross.
Maybe this woman could have used all of the time and energy she's spent on being outraged and humiliated to pump her breast milk at home.
Just because you can do something in public doesn't mean you necessarily should and while I don't find breastfeeding to be particularly offensive the whole "it's natural, I don't care if it bothers you, deal with it" attitude to be.
Completely reasonable response.
So, if someone told you that you weren't allowed to eat in public and that you had to finish your lunch beside a toilet, you'd be okay with that? Because all the mother is doing is giving the baby its lunch.
And although I've never breastfed, I'm told using a breast pump isn't as effective and usually the mother runs out of milk much earlier than if she had simply let the infant feed straight from her breast.
Right. Because everyone knows that a trip to IKEA (or any big store) is well-timed and scheduled and you can make it home at the exact time you had hoped for. You were not there at the time and do not know if she was displaying an "it's natural, I don't care if it bothers you, deal with it" attitude - the story implies that she was covered. So why are people so offended by seeing a woman with a blanket draped over her.
Because everyone knows that a trip to IKEA (or any big store) is well-timed and scheduled and you can make it home at the exact time you had hoped for.
Uh, mine are. I'm an adult who doesn't impulse buy cheap furniture. Like I mentioned, it's not the breastfeeding that bothers me - why did this woman feel the need to feed her baby in the busiest area of one of the most hectic retail environments I can think of?
if someone told you that you weren't allowed to eat in public and that you had to finish your lunch beside a toilet, you'd be okay with that?
There are plenty of places I can't eat in public. IKEA isn't one of them, but I wouldn't work up enough outrage to disparage the name of what has been consistently ranked one of the top workplaces for working mothers if it was.
I don't know the layout of this particular IKEA, but the one near me has a semi-sequestered, quiet area outside the bathrooms with couches. I also have no idea what a family bathroom is, but I doubt it's an open pit full of excrement.
spoken like someone who knows fuck-all about the mechanics of breastfeeding, breastpumps, and the realities of babies and motherhood in general. thanks for sharing.
Anybody who's got problems with breasts, nursing or otherwise, has some serious difficulties unresolvable on this board. Who cares, bring 'em on! Breast Nazi or perky nulliparous twangers, you can't go wrong with breasts. A natural part of our world, and such a joy to babies and adults alike. Don't like 'em, go beat some elephants!
I don't understand the problem with breastfeeding.
An infant with a boob in its mouth is an infant that isn't screaming its head off. Once they're done eating, they pass out. Everyone's a winner.
There is also something glorious about taking a dump. You can't go wrong with a good working sphincter. A natural part of our world and such a joy. However you don't see me doing a bowl "move" on the IKEA Karlstad sofa.
How is shitting in public comparable to breast-feeding? Come down off your high and read what you wrote, idiot!
Any store with large numbers of confused and overwhelmed shoppers is going to lead security people to have delusions of grandeur. And the Ikea ones are a horrible bunch. Much worse than Target. Target shoppers don't take anywhere near as much crap.
Even though breast feeding is allowed in public places, she was on private property. I don't know the laws related to this, but I know for photography that even though it is legal in public places, it can be restricted on private property (e.g. malls, stores, restuarants).
"Even though breast feeding is allowed in public places, she was on private property. I don't know the laws related to this"
Your answer is already written above: "public breastfeeding is legal anytime and anywhere."
http://www.nyclu.org/files/breastfeedingcard.jpg
yeah jayclay, no one seems to pay attention to the fact that it is entirely legal to do this. NO MATTER WHAT. jesus. I can't believe the comments on this board. How did most of us get fed before we could do it ourselves. There are some mommy haters on here.
Forget about legal, if the worst you have to deal with in your day is some little kid chowing down on a nipple, you have had a great day. Lighten up, focus and worry about the bigger issues in life. And no, kids having lunch is not the same as peeing or pinching a loaf. Chill, enjoy life, and save your anger for the really bad things in life.
Agreed!
Plus, this woman was using a blanket to actually cover up her apparently offensive body parts. I can understand (though not agree) if someone is squeamish about seeing everything, but most reasonable mothers know this and hence use a cloth or small blanket to "cover up" while feeding. How could anyone care less about that??
Interesting, but on the card, it states that "you have the right to ask for a private place to pump..."
Why not breast feed in private too? Yeah, we all get that its a right, but we all have a right to do things, that a large number of people feel, should be done in private. If the dump that the kid takes is handled in private, why not the feeding?
I'm not a mommy hater, but I do hate self important idiots forcing their life giving status in everyone's face. I really don't understand.
Maybe because I wasn't breast fed, which I just found out about!
This is a serious question: if she's covered up, and you can't see boob, how is it gross?? Every mom I've ever seen breastfeeding has some sort of light cloth over it, and I've never seen boob. Is that still gross to you? It's not to me, at all.
I have no opinion about breast feeding in public. What I find shocking is that the security guard actually spoke English and not Russian. I had some security guard come up to me at Ikea RH and ask me to move a cart, but he had to say it like 8 times before i understood him. In my head, all i kept hearing was " I will break You". BTW the cart wasn't even mine, he didn't understand me saying, its not my cart 8 times as well.
On a Wednesday? The last time I went on a weekday this store was deserted. They have no concept of customer service and customer retention.
Prediction: they're not going to make it.
"my daughter was upset from being interrupted in the middle of her feed"
Would somebody please, just think of the children!
She was covered. What's the problem? Anyone offended by that is pathetic.
BREAKING: Nonsense. Thank good for IKEA lifting Red Hook up from the trash! Have you been to Sweden? I have. A much more developed country than the US, by the way. I noticed that it's a place where women are breast feeding openly without any problem. I am convinced that IKEA would not have a problem if it wasn't an american problem, i.e. uneducation or prude stupidity going nuts every time one sees a little skin. What's wrong with a woman breast feeding openly? There's nothing sexy about it. It's just a baby getting food. Either the woman in this article was shoplifting and almost got caught therefore making a total scene out of it or IKEA should be allowed to have Swedish security guards, instead of having people forced upon them who don't subscribe to their values.
On another note. Could anyone stop the UNPD man/woman who is making money on the side by supervising the "black car private delivery coach service" outside of IKEA?
First, uneducation isn't a word. Second, prude stupidity should be prudish stupidity. Thanks for sharing such a worldly and inspired comment.
+1 for boobage
Of all the violence and injustice in the world, these dopes take offense at this??
If it was an 18 month old and the ol' udders were out in plain sight, I could sympathize a tad, but not in this case.
Pumps are for factory-farmed cows.
My mom was a La Leche activist, so I really don't have any issues with breast feeding other than the time my husband and I were trying to enjoy a nice dinner at a reataurant and the woman at the table right next to us wipped out her boobage. Mom didn't offer a whole lot of coverage either ( we got some side boob action and a little bit of nipple that was pretty hard not to noyice, but I'm sure that was the point). I thought that it was pretty rude behavior on her part. Skin at the dinner table is a little much.
I meant restaurant
I think it should be kept to home.
But at the same time it doesn't really bother me, except in a restaurant is pretty gross.
The only thing that bothers me is when I notice it I focus on the boos for a second, because its shocking to see them.
I don't stare...but the mommy in question always shoots me a dirty look as though its my fault for noticing she has a tit out.
I don't really understand why it's gross personally; I find the way many obese people stuff their faces at restaurants way more gross than a mother feeding her baby. If it were the same milk from a bottle, would you care? I hardly see the difference, and it's probably safer and cleaner straight from the source anyway (As opposed to sitting in a potentially-dirty bottle.
I do agree with you about how irritating it is to get dirty looks if you look over. While I'm fine with mothers doing this in public, they have to realize that people are going to stare or double-take.
I guess I find it gross because its a part of the body that is normally covered and I'm a bit of a neat freak. Those parts of the body tend to be dirtier and more prone to bacteria and sweat.
And yes I feel the same about fat people stuffing their faces. Actually that's much worse to me than breast feeding.
Fair enough. At least you can admit the fact that you find it gross (and why). But, just because it's gross to some people, should it be not allowed?
I've seen disgustingly hairy and sweaty dudes in tank tops eating at the food court; I think there's way more sweat and bacteria going on there. Frankly, there are more germs and bacteria on your average subway car, so if you're really a neat freak or germaphobe, NYC may not be the place for you.
Maybe that's why there are so many paranoid schizos in New York? They get overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of germs floating everywhere they go...
I'm not one of the people who eats on subway cars, or food courts.
Strip clubs either for the record.
There are plenty of normal places to sit down and eat without seeing those things.
I agree with someone above a big place like Ikea should have some sort of infant care area.
"Bitty"
It's also legal to pick your nose till it bleeds while loudly farting. That doesn't mean it's always pleasant to those around you. Most men prefer to think of breasts as their playthings and only want to see them on sexy ladies when its time to procreate, so breastfeeding in public makes them uncomfortable and is therefore bad for business to allow it in your store (esp. restaurant). Maybe breastfeeding is not the most disgusting thing a woman can do in public, but it's not her right to tell me not to feel grossed out by it.
"Maybe breastfeeding is not the most disgusting thing a woman can do in public, but it's not her right to tell me not to feel grossed out by it."
No, I won't tell you that you cannot be grossed out... but you are not going to tell me I cannot feed my child when the child needs to eat. And I sure as hell am not taking my child to a public toilet to feed him or her. Anyone who has had a child knows that they are not on a breakfast, lunch and dinner schedule like adults. Sometimes you try to plan trips around feedings and baby gets hungry while you're out anyway. Trips take longer than expected. Sure, you can pump ahead. Fine. But the boobs are still going to react when baby is hungry and crying. Mom is going to start shooting milk from her boobs anyway. hungry, crying baby = letdown of milk. and if not... she may be in pain until she gets home. So she might as well pack a little lighter and just nurse her baby when baby is hungry. I agree, the breastfeeding nazis who think they have every right to strip off their tops and feed in the middle of a store to prove a point are annoying. They give normal, breastfeeding moms a bad name. I don't need to prove a point. I just need to feed my child. My guess, on any given day you are probably passing moms who are discreetly breastfeeding their children and you don't even know it.
I've been to Ikea during the week, daytime and evening. The place is dead. This is a case of one, ignorant, uncomfortable, uneducated employee who saw something they didn't know how to react to. Should rudeness and ignorance be called out? Uh, yeah. I'm sure Ikea, the corporation, has no issues with moms breastfeeding.
Oh, and although I've never breastfed a child at a restaurant table, I have no problem with a mom doing so. It's a boob, people. Get over it. You see more boob on some billboards and magazine covers. It's not about the skin, reaction is over the perception of use.
I won't tell you not to feed your child when the thing needs to eat. A little discretion, though, would go a long way in no one getting grossed out or any breastfeeding mom getting harassed. I, too, have no problem with people doing it discretely with a blanket/cover in public places. Overall, I think we agree.
Most men prefer to think of breasts as their playthings and only want to see them on sexy ladies when its time to procreate
Yes, but that's not their primary function. Therefore, whether you are grossed out or not is irrelevant.
Your ass's primary function is to shit. Do you see how that might gross out some customers at Ikea or diners at a french bistro? That may be a stronger example (it may be somewhat worse than breast feeding in public) but being disgusted by a natural "primary" function is also very natural. Some places don't want grossed out customers even if what they are grossed out by is much less disgusting than say.. maggots eating a rat carcass.
Humans shitting and maggots feeding on a rat's carcass are extremely unsanitary and conducive to serious illnesses to other people. Whereas breastfeeding moms, from what I've heard, are extra careful to ensure their babies are nourished in a clean and safe environment.
So with all due respect, how in hell do you even make that comparison!?
I thought I was careful not to make the comparison. I was simply refuting the earlier remark that suggested that because it's a 'primary function' that it cannot be unpleasant to other people. The rat carcass was an example of something that is disgusting and it was largely contrasted from (not compared to) breastfeeding, if you read what was said more carefully.
I know a few Mom's that are going to Ikea to nurse.
It's still a stupid argument. Unlike shit or a maggoty carcass -- which stinks and is a threat to your health -- if the sight of a breastfeeding woman offends you, you can, y'know, look away.
I was sitting in Baked on Van Brunt down in RH last week during the day, by the window, and a mom sat on the bench in front, and started breastfeeding her baby, with no covering at all. It made me think...I wasn't offended by the breastfeeding at all, but I thought showing your complete boob while doing so on a major street was a tad exhibitionistic. Otherwise, who cares? seriously.
I agree, whats all the fuss about
I am getting fed up of all those proud-to-finally-be-mothers out there who seem unable to do ANYTHING else except actions somehow related to their newborns. I don't want to breastfeed precisely because I find it disgusting and cow-like and would really appreciate it if women could keep their boobs to themselves and their homes. I don't flaunt my genitals (and have far more reason to do so than any recent mother whose parts are less than aesthetic,at least for a while) so why I should I be forced to tolerate anyone else's?