Manhattan Airport Foundation's Bold Plan for Central Park

Central Park's future?

For well over a century almost a thousand acres of prime Manhattan real estate have gone to waste, as thousands of roustabouts loiter daily on that great green monument to squandered potential: Central Park. But at last a group of visionaries are trying to turn this urban void into something the city desperately needs: an international airport! But what about JFK, you say? Let the Manhattan Airport Foundation explain:

JFK, La Guardia and Newark may work for people who live in certain outer boroughs. But they are not an acceptable option for the majority of New Yorkers, requiring travel through some of the most congested traffic arteries in the nation... Amazingly, there is still a large, undeveloped and underutilized site in the center of New York City. In fact, this site has remained undeveloped for so long that many of us forget it even exists. It’s called Central Park. Ask most New Yorkers when was the last time they visited it. Statistically that number is fewer than one visit per person per year. But how many times did those same New Yorkers go the airport?

Check and mate, Central Park Conservancy. The website for the Manhattan Airport Foundation is surprisingly thorough for what is almost certainly a Swiftian satire; it features plenty of 3-D renderings, a design competition, a petition (17,000 and growing!), and F.A.Q. such as, "What will happen to landmarks such as Cleopatra’s Needle, Beethoven and Strawberry Fields?" The irrefutable answer: "Whenever possible, vestigial architectural elements of the Park space will be retained or reworked into the context of the new design. Under the current plan the Imagine mosaic and Strawberry Fields will be preserved, however they will be located indoors within the main terminal concourse."

Ready to say goodbye to rabid weekend warrior cyclists, Shakespeare, and two hour schleps to far-flung airports? Get out your checkbooks and make a $1,000 donation to the Foundation; they'll dedicate an airport bench in your name. Excelsior! [Via Curbed]

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By John Del Signore in News on July 22, 2009 7:45 AM

Comments [rss]

NannyState

I've been having drinks in that lounge since 1979.

Spirit of 76

How about turning the perpetually unbuilt Ground Zero site into a landing field for Zeppelin NT blimps?

Knarf

Uh, John...

"Roustabouts" ? Look it up, I think you meant "layabouts."

jchez

The Manhattan Airport Foundation

233 Broadway, 58th Floor

New York, New York 10007

Doesn't the Woolworth Building have only 57 floors?

Very clever hidden hint from those guys.

slny

Great idea.

So, let's see...

911 x 1000...

snessnyc

No! It's still only a half-assed solution. I demand a heliport on top of every building in Manhattan, from the tallest skyscraper down to the the super's tool shed in the back alley. Only then will I be satisfied!

valeriob

So awesome :) teehee

hotstepper

oniony.

emilydickinson

So is my $1,000 donation still tax deductible?

Dirk

Hmmm... several commentors need to work on their reading comprehension skills.

Jen S

Sweet, who needs nature?!

Publius

This joke was even funnier when Bruce McCall made it 30 years ago in his book "Zany Afternoons."

silver

Governors Island makes a much better airport. Just do some land reclamation to length the existing runway on it.

csk

NYC should provide better access to the area airports. THere's no reason why you shouldn't be able to have a subway line direct to LGA and JFK. It would require fewer cars and cost a hell of a lot less for people who fly. The AirTrain is a weak attempt. It costs almost as much as a cab and serves only a few train lines. This is a scam by the T&LC not to make that subway connection.

EastRiver

I can't think of too many European airports where the subway goes right to the terminals. Heathrow comes to mind. Most airports have either a dedicated rail link between the airport and the city center or access to a commuter line or both. Point is you end up paying far more than cost of the local subway - usually between $10 and $20 one way per person. That's roughly what you end up paying for Airtrain plus subway or LIRR to get to JFK or Airtrain and NJ Transit to get to Newark. And then you still have to make your way to and from the central train station. How is that different from here? And I assume part of the reason the system was designed this way was to make travelers pay for the cost of the Airtrain. Simply building a subway extension into the airport would not generate any additional revenue beyond the old system of busing travelers from the terminal to the subway station. As for LGA I've always heard the NIMBYs in Queens killed any hope of getting the subway extension there.

lemon

Robert Moses killed that plan forever when he built the Van Wyck. Go read "The Power Broker". It will expand your mind on corruption and how things don't get done in this world.

SP

Yeah like they have in all major cities in Europe. They also have public health care and top notch public education systems, and public infrastructure that isn't crumbling.

valeriob

Why are you still here? Canada/France have been waiting for your arrival.

SP

So you are proud of being a leader of the Third World? You don't think Americans deserve better? Maybe YOU should move to Iran or Afghanistan, you would fit right in over there.