Starbucks To Make Coffee Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

2009_06_starbu.jpg Starting next month, Starbucks has announced that in addition to grinding beans to order for each brewed pot of coffee it'll also brew coffee more frequently: The magic will happen every 24 minutes, down from the previous 30. And in a bid for health-related transparency, the coffee chain will eliminate artificial colors, fats, and high fructose corn syrup from its menus entirely, along with some preservatives. This will change the taste of some Starbucks mixed drinks, and "will affect about 90 percent of the baked goods" (don't worry—Starbucks has new baked goods on the way!). Fruity drink chain Jamba Juice is also feeling the corn syrup squeeze: Besides pushing a new menu consisting largely of sandwiches, wraps, and baked goods, the chain is beginning to take the HFCS away from its locations. It's already happening in California, and the change will go into effect nationwide within the year, reports Nation's Restaurant News. High fructose corn syrup is thought to be the phantom menace of the modern diet, the proverbial second gunman on the grassy knoll of obesity and heart disease.

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Think of Starbucks as an enema...but in the other end.
While they will make your coffee "harder, better, faster and stronger" they could do the same with an enema and it will not make it any better. Starbucks brews garbage for coffee and it starts at the source...goes through roasting...and ends up in the hands of underpaid "I could give a fuck" about your coffee barista...trust me I worked for them for over 5 years...THE WORST!!!!

"Underpaid"?

Are you kidding me? For a retail, counter-job, Starbucks pays pretty damn well and offers great health benefits. I worked there all through college and I really can't stand when people come down on this company as if they were a horrible menace. It's too trendy now to hate on Starbucks.

While I do hate how they open on every street corner (steadfastly against that), I do think, on average, they treat their employees much better than most lower-end service companies out there. Try working in any chain, and then relate your experience. Trust me, I've worked in a lot of places.

And no one is paying $6 for coffee, people. The average Starbucks coffee is less than $2. If you buy a specialty drink with tons of add ons - yeah, it costs more. I'm sure you don't have a problem spending $6 on some watered-down beer at your local.

Are you sure you got the right link? This is Gothamist, not Wichitaist. If you can prove that New York Starbucks coffee averages

The most popular drinks are their specialty drinks. A small percentage of customers ask for "a coffee".

Not many companies will give their part time employees health benefits.

I poop on Starbucks and their pretentious my-shit-don't-stink customers who just LOVE their 6 dollar milk w/ a splash of shitty coffee.

tards.

We need Peet's coffee on the east coast. Starbucks doesn't come close.

there are several peet's coffees in boston. i miss peet's!

Could you make it more burnt, please?
I love the taste of burnt dirt.

Barista: That has HFCS in it.... you know what they say about it?
Me: Like what??
Barista:... that... it's.....
Me: hah, that it's made from corn?! and that it's fine in moderation?! hah
Barista: Omg I love that top!

I am so angry that other people like Starbucks!

seriously! You guys are not representing the anti side very well. sound like nothing but disgruntled ex employees, especially the first commenter who employed the "they can make it better, but it won't make it better" logic, and I'm still wondering what the hell an enema has to do with anything. "it's like an enema" doesn't resonate with me.

Starbucks is dreadful. It is like an enema because 30 minutes after drinking that garbage your intestines convulse and steaming feces scorch your rectum. Perhaps you drink the flavored drinks with whipped cream. If you drank that abysmal Pike Place Roast you would be shitting your pants within the hour.

"it's like an enema" doesn't resonate with me."

Oh Christ, I actually lived to read that line.

i still can't believe uppity ny'ers flock to starbucks, while in the next breath condemning the corporate machine. what gives people?

Problem is the ideal of "patronize your local coffee shop, it's probably better" is utopian. There are diamonds in the rough few and far between, but most local delis and breakfast carts serve mediocre to awful coffee. Even the chichi "anti-Starbucks" shops are often not very good. With Starbucks (and Dunkin Donuts) the customer can be reasonably assured that their coffee will be pretty good and in a convenient location.

i guess i just dream of a day when those lovely espresso bars (ala Roma) begin sprouting up around the city after the locals finally live up to their ideals and stop patronizing blasé cookie-cutter eateries. until said consumers reject the starbucks modus operandi, the chain will continue to stymie the growth of wonderful alternative possibilities.

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If they didn't open a branch on every fucking block I wouldn't hate them so much. But they did. And now I rejoice every time I hear of one closing. Their mass expansion like a cloud of locusts is what brought the ire. Seeing a Starbucks on either side of the same street made me want to throw cinder blocks through their windows. All at the expense of smaller businesses. Fuck them.

since when do uppity ny'ers condemn the corporate machine? do you all hate wireless phone providers and nail salons for their ubiquitousness as well?

How do all those nail salons stay open? It seems like they're usually mostly empty. Unlike Starbucks.

The real business is handjobs in the back room.

At nail salons, the sex takes place in little cuticles.

Ba dump!

yeah, me too actually. at least i got to use the word 'ubiquitousness"

Ever since I started commuting to Jersey City for work I've gained a whole new appreciation for Starbucks since there is no Starbucks within 20 minutes of my office. Starbucks regular coffee and iced coffee is two bucks. Compared to the expensive sewer water/coffee that's sold in JC, Starbucks is actually bargain. I do agree though that having a Starbucks on every corner (as in Manhattan) is obnoxious.

"...Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger"

hmmm

Sucrose, HFCS, it doesn't matter. Both will give you the same high, and the same diabetes that I will have to pay for your Disability and your Medicare to treat your irresponsible fat ass.

Time to replace sugar with Splenda and not poison yourself with artificially concentrated sugar.

Hate to break it to you but Artificial sweeteners contain Aspartame which is bascially a poison and far worse then even corn syrup.

There is a reason places like Whole Foods don't sale aritficial sweeterners.

Either get real sugar or STEVIA.

isn't aspartame derived from an african berry who's juice is percieved by the tastebuds as 6000 times sweeter than sugar?
i mean i understand if you're a phenylketonueric (did i spell that right) and can't eliminate phenylalanine from building up in your braing because you are genetically lacking the proper chemical agents in your body, but if you don't have that rare disease, then how is aspartame a poison?
And why would you present health information evidenced upon what a corporate grocery store, totally concerned with their percieved image by their core customer, decides to stock or not stock.

I love the ice coffee with soy and it is under 2 bucks and you can get refill if you drink at the premise. Yeah!

We can't overlook their contribution to the city in terms of public restrooms, either.

Seriously. You have no idea how many times I was on the verge of soiling myself if not for a Starbucks. That is the one best pro I see to always having a Starbucks in the near vicinity at all times.

tim hortons is slowly making its way to nyc.

tim hortons = jesus. look it up.

I proudly continue my boycott of this multinational.

Get a grinder and a $20 moka pot and you can make coffee in five minutes that tastes better than almost any coffee chain.

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