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Last month, a few Long Island lawmakers called for a study to examine the possibility of Long Island statehood. Suffolk Comptroller Joseph Sawicki had said, "The state of Long Island has always been a romantic idea, its been fun to talk about and exciting to discuss. Now, it's become a matter of economic survival," and pointed out that Albany gets $3 billion more from Long Island than it gives back. Last night, Samantha Bee of the Daily Show decided to tackle the issue, speaking with Suffolk County Legislator Edward Romaine (pro-Long Island as the 51st State), State Senate Carl Marcellino (con-Long Island as the 51st State), and a three, um, typical Long Island guys who suggest that the Long Island state bird could be "flipping the bird."
Remember: NYC gives Albany $10+ billion more than it gets back!
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Long Island - Guidos galore.
...along with Staten Island, New Jersey, Sheepshead Bay Brooklyn...
The "Calamari Ring".
Wait........... All 8 1/2 million people in NJ are guidos?
Wow, who knew!
Come on NYC, you really, really need to update your shtick.
You are a boring, broken record at this point.
Be careful with these jokes, they are antiques.
State Food? No contest: gabagool!!!
Chick'n Pahm sanwich?
Excellent idea! We should then put booths on every Brooklyn and Queens entry way in order to collect tolls from the islanders.
Take a number, L.I., and let Puerto Rico make up its mind first to be 51st.
I am however ALL for cutting Staten Island loose and let it just drift out to the Atlantic.
As long as we can erect a massive electric fence along the Queens/Nassau line, I'm all for it.
Staten Island before Long Island.
Now, I grew up on Long Island so please allow me to articulate the following:
ME AND MY BOYS VIN, VINNIE AND VINCENT ARE GOING TO THE BOARDY BARN THIS WEEKEND TO BAG SOME BITCHES! Afterwards, we may partake in some delicious Italian cuisine and then stop by the local watering hole to continue bagging bitches.
Good day.
Bring it on -- the City could use revenue from another commuter tax.
Maybe visiting long islanders will cease to act as if they own the city then. Maybe not.
I grew up in Wheatley Heights, which was Wyandanch before it got the post office of its own. Life out there is so bleak, with nothing to do if your mom doesn't drive you around. I remember trying to make out with Tina Schecter while her dad drove me home. Loser. All there is to do at night is drink and eat White Castle. These are the most small-minded fokls in the world. Nassau has some redeeming qualities, but Suffolk, especially as you go further East (no, I know all the Hamptons douches aren't really LIers), is a horror movie of inbreeding and the eating of one's own young.
What were you looking to do at night? Parties? Clubbing etc?
Most places are like that in America, unless you live in a city. Even in other cities you sometimes need people to drive you around or drive yourself since public transportation is not 24/7 like NYC.
I grew up in Wheatley Heights, which was Wyandanch before it got the post office of its own. Life out there is so bleak, with nothing to do if your mom doesn't drive you around. I remember trying to make out with Tina Schecter while her dad drove me home. Loser. All there is to do at night is drink and eat White Castle. These are the most small-minded fokls in the world. Nassau has some redeeming qualities, but Suffolk, especially as you go further East (no, I know all the Hamptons douches aren't really LIers), is a horror movie of inbreeding and the eating of one's own young.
wow, that was hilarious.
the sullivan ballou parody was great.
If NYC joined The State Of Long Island, we could all get the Albany/upstate $13 billion dollars per year parasites off our backs.
I'm just sayin'.
And Upstate could lower taxes dramatically and regenerate its economy to something much more like North Carolina's.
technically Brooklyn and Queens are on Long Island take them too
Why not just secede from the state entirely? Make it Manhattan, the Douche-bag Investment Banker State.
Manhattan is already being eyed for ownership by Disney Theme Parks Intl. They won't need to do much more work to make it a wonderful playground for at tourists and douche bag college guys.
Long Island should be allowed to become a state only if they promise to secede immediately.
Dear Mom,
This is why I'm still single.
Love,
Your Spinster Daughter
This segment was really well done.