Multiple Climaxes at the Air Sex World Championships

Photo by Katie Sokoler/Gothamist

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We have to admit that much like The Onion AV Club, we had our doubts about the Air Sex World Championships' abilities to come into town amidst their 15-city tour and leave us with much besides the squirmish feeling that sometimes accompanies other platforms for unbridled exhibitionists (Burlesque nights, improv comedy "jams," etc.). But both the crop of a dozen or so entrants along with the show's energetic and razor sharp co-hosts, Chris Trew and Joel Keith, seriously brought the noise at last night's raunch-fest inside the High Line Ballroom. Even the intermission's air band performance by Category Six left us wanting more.

Despite some stiff competition in the opening round, the hands-down crowd favorite and unanimous winner of the night was Brian Arya, aka "Usher" (and of course pronounced "Ursha"). Usher really stepped it up in the final round when contestants had their accompanying music picked for them by judges without any time to prepare. Yet he still came up with a second, involved storyline of the night in rhythm to the Superman theme music—this one about a man exploring anonymous bathroom sex for the first time. Usher's pantomimes stood out because of his attention to detail and charming subtlety—apparently in two years of Air Sex competitions back in Austin, no one ever pulled Arya's move to first put on an "air condom."

Several of the female contestants created routines highlighting just how difficult it can be for a woman to be properly pleased, but only one left jaws dropping and sent herself into the finals by (literally) sending sparks flying as she broke out a power tool in order to get the job done.

Musical accompaniments to entrants' routines ranged from natural choices like Nelly's "Hot in Herre" and Tenacious D to off-beat pleasers like Billy Ocean's "Get Out of My Dreams (And Into My Car)" and Natalie Imbruglia. A contestant named "Bjorn to F*ck" taught us what a "Raccoon" was, but may have kept himself out of the finals by incorporating autoerotic asphyxiation a little too soon for some.

Surprisingly the only part of the show that tended to drag on was the panel of judges' assessments after each performance. (American Idol, you've ruined the world in one more way.) Not every contestant just stood and took it on the chin though. When the primarily female panel called out the thonged sailor "Dirty D" on his lack of buildup, he shot back, "Foreplay is for pussies." And before the judges even got a chance to chime in their thoughts on one female contestant's relatively tepid routine, she grabbed the mic and informed us that she was only here to masturbate on stage, had done so and then simply walked off. God bless.