Sources: Men Arrested Trying To Repaint Bedford Bike Lane
Co-ed Dorm Rooms Coming To Columbia
Giuliani Takes Job As Security Consultant For Rio Olympics
New Jersey State Senate To Vote On Gay Marriage
9/11 Terror Trial Protesters Boo Obama's, Holder's Names
Well, we had a good run. Today KFC has made the unsurprising decision to suspend its Oprah-backed grilled chicken giveaway. The overwhelming nationwide demand for free food had depleted KFC's chicken supply to such a degree that the company was actually going to run out of chicken before Mother's Day, which is said to be the chain's most lucrative business day. In this awkwardly upbeat video, KFC president Roger Eaton—who has the weirdest Kentucky accident we've ever heard—explains the crisis, now entering day three:
The Colonel's gonna surprise ya, oy! Basically, if you show up with your coupon and fill out a form, KFC will send a "rain check," which Midtown Lunch derides as "code for forcing you to jump through so many hoops you’ll just give up on the free chicken. Of course that’s not going to happen… did they even see what people went through yesterday for their $4 worth of chicken?" Also, the rain check they promise to send through the mail includes a cool, refreshing Pepsi, so really the only people KFC's dissuading are the homeless, who can't be counted on for future business anyway.
And the disgruntlement continues! A tipster tells us that down at the KFC in the financial district, the manager is "just stopping people at the door and giving them this BS rain check letter. [See below.] A coworker and me went on Wed and waited for 30 but got the food (it was actually pretty tasty) and we decided to go again today and then a couple times next week. But I guess not. I blame Oprah for all this.... And baby seals."
add to stumble upon
add to reddit
tweet this
post to facebook
Clearly, when it's chicken vs. power of Oprah, chicken loses.
"Clearly, when it's chicken vs. power of Oprah, chicken loses."
Judging from Oprah's weight it's the chicken by a knockout!
"Mother's Day, which is said to be the chain's most lucrative business day"
Really? Way to go, kids! Spending $4.59 on mom!
I was thinking the same thing. At least spring for TGI Friday's!
after all, nothing says "I Love You, Mom!" like a decomposing snake head!
Shit....Applebee's? Or do they put fingernails in their salads?
Don't give away chicken for several days during a economic down turn when you cant fill the orders
"and we decided to go again today and then a couple times next week."
Ummm, yeah, assholes like this were part of the problem.
That's a South African/Australian accent.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_Eaton
"at a later date" ?
People went there because they were hungry now, not at a later date.
I've decided that I will perhaps resume doing business with KFC again at a later date.
A goddang Aussie is running Kentucky Fried Chicken? That's why this country is going to H-E-Double Hockeysticks.
KFC needs to outsource to Obama Fried Chicken
Oprah is disgusting.