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"Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now," the Smiths-themed speed dating event, had its fourth monthly installment at Greenpoint's Black Rabbit bar last night. And with just about every table in the place filled with daters, it's safe to say that the ironic brainchild of comedian Dave Hill may have transcended gimmick status and become something of a minor phenomenon. (When we say ironic, it's not due to involvement of hipsters, but rather the event drawing its inspiration from Morrissey, at one time the most famous self-proclaimed asexual.)
The crowd of thirty-two speed daters (this time with an even male to female ratio) had just as many locals as it did those who made the trek from the likes of Rutherford, NJ, Queens Village and one woman just passing through town and staying at hostels. Each date lasted as long as the Morrissey-penned song Hill played on his iTunes. He told us that he'd tempt fate and just leave it on shuffle if it were only Smiths songs; the presence of Morrissey solo numbers mixed in forces him to keep a watchful eye on the playlist.
Hill says that he started the event as a joke, but is happy to keep running it as long as people keep showing up. He said, "All I do is sit at the bar, drink beer and listen to The Smiths, which is what I like doing anyway."
While the humor inherent in Smiths speed dating might be what's been drawing crowds out to Greenpoint each month, the dates themselves aren't that different than how these things go down no matter what the circumstances: big mouth strikes again on one date, another leaves you wondering how soon is now for this to be over and quite a few instances of "that joke isn't funny anymore," as in the one random guy who claimed to be stoned and started off a date with the line, "Wow, your shirt is really red."
One dater complained that her cheeks were sore from all of her manufactured smiles. The closest we came to what felt like a genuine Smiths moment was a conversation with a date about crying in public (it had been the highlight of one speed dater's day).
Hill kept the mood light and provided a conversation catalyst with countless references to The Hipster Grifter, the breaking story that everyone seemed to be up on (and he was in the midst of creating a Fan Page for). The host said that the only people who seem to have had a negative reaction to his creation are folks on Morrissey's online message boards. Hill says that fans of This Charming Man claim, "Morrissey would HATE this!!!!!!!"
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Table #1 (left in photo one): Are they even talking to each other? Or are they mouth breathing as they wait for the next round of hotties?
Table #2: We have a winner.
Table #3: Dude is giving the cute red head the death stare. Hope we don't read something in the Daily News about her dissapearence tomorrow.
Table#4: group daaaate!
Some girls are bigger than others.
Predictably, not a looker among the bunch.
Girl in purple in picture #3 - quite a little cutie. If I got her phone number out of this event I'd deem the whole thing a success.
"Morrissey would HATE this!!!!!!!" - Why? The guy's not anti-relationships by any means - apparently he's even got a girlfriend or whatever, or so the rumor says. Just because he emphasizes how awkward relationships can be doesn't mean he doesn't engage in them. It's like thinking Axl Rose actually *lives* in a jungle...
This was either speed dating in North Brooklyn, or a mustaches, bad hair, and ugly clothes convention.
Yeah, so that wasn't that funny. But it IS true.
Anyone interested in the G.G. Allin speed dating event I'm working on? Please let me know.
Anyone interested in the G.G. Allin speed dating event I'm working on? Please let me know.
Absolutely. Everyone will be required to drink, fight, and f*ck!
Seriously dude, this is what you decided to say on the Interwebs? Does anyone actually give a shit about Morrissey's sexuality at this point? The fact that you took the time to defend him suggests that you're grabbing ankles but your friends think you're straight or that your girlfriend has to be gentle with you. Grow a pair.
This is what I've always imagined a White Persons' Conference would look like. Fucking mayonnaise all over that joint.
hey look it's a hipster convention in a hipster neighborhood! shocking!
Years ago I might look at the above image and write, The World is Full of Crashing Bores, and leave it at that; but actually they look like they're really listening and appreciating each other's company.
This is why you are all fucking morons. A good half of the guys in these photos show absolutely no trace of hipster douchiness, and none of the girls do. For crying out loud, look at photo #6. If that's a hipster, I'm Betty White. Fuuuuuuck yoooooooooouuuuuuuu.
C'mon. Let's not be mean. These people are just trying to meet someone. Nothing wrong with that.
That's what I'm saying.
A room full of Smiths fans who can't get a date, now that's a cirle of hell that would scare Dante.
There's a reason people are single... Why force the issue?
The boys wore their best ironic shirts, a la photos 4 & 5. Made sure not to use a comb. I think it's great that folks put themselves out there and try to find love, but the hipster style thing does wear on me after a while.
Well dang,
First of all I went to this event and had a total blast. (*holds up hand* - Rutherford, NJ btw). I also think it's necessary to point out the host was an excruciating 45 minutes late to his own event.
That being said, most of the guys were from the area and just dropped in for a beer and an entertaining night. I found out via a flyer texted to me by my - and found the idea too amusing to pass up. Speed dating - hilarious. The Smiths - awesome. Together in Brooklyn? Too unique to not go for sheer fun factor alone. And it was fun.
Regarding the comments - I know a lot more photos were taken, and I am certain there had to have been more flattering ones, as a lot of the girls were really pretty, and the guys were (save 1) charming and cute.
So boo to those of you who weren't even there and say 'not a cutie in the bunch' -
Do you see all 31 people pictured? Do you think every photo of you caught mid-sentence in a bar with a flash-bulb camera is going to be exquisite?
I didn't think so.
I really want the photo of my friend and I together at the beginning of the night - he was a trooper and signed up at the last minute under peer pressure, and I'm sure was [and is] an entirely charming man.
Regarding ethnicity (lame this was even brought up) - I met one very intelligent guy from Argentina who came down from Gramercy for the event, though I apologize profusely for my own Caucasian-ness.
Honestly - most of these guys were interesting - and the convos - albeit brief - with the cute chicks on either side of me were fun too. So don't berate people just because you're too much of a wuss to try something fun and new yourself.
PS: "Table #3: Dude is giving the cute red head the death stare. Hope we don't read something in the Daily News about her dissapearence tomorrow."
Thanks for the compliment ;) And I made it home just fine after a very fun night.
Ciao
Well dang,
First of all I went to this event and had a total blast. I also think it's necessary to point out the host was an excruciating 45 minutes late to his own event.
That being said, most of the guys were from the area and just dropped in for a beer and an entertaining night. I found out via a flyer texted to me by my sis - and found the idea too amusing to pass up. Speed dating - hilarious. The Smiths - awesome. Together in Brooklyn? Too unique to not go for sheer fun factor alone. And it was fun.
Regarding the comments - I know a lot more photos were taken, and I am certain there had to have been more flattering ones, as a lot of the girls were really pretty, and the guys were (save 1) charming and cute.
So boo to those of you who weren't even there and say 'not a cutie in the bunch' -
Do you see all 32 people pictured? Do you think every photo of you caught mid-sentence in a bar with a flash-bulb camera is going to be exquisite?
I didn't think so.
I really want the photo of my friend and I together at the beginning of the night - he was a trooper and signed up at the last minute under peer pressure, and I'm sure was [and is] an entirely charming man.
Regarding ethnicity (lame this was even brought up) - I met one very intelligent guy from Argentina who came down from Gramercy for the event, though I apologize profusely for my own Caucasian-ness.
Honestly - most of these guys were interesting - and the convos - albeit brief - with the cute chicks on either side of me were fun too. So don't berate people just because you're too much of a wuss to try something fun and new yourself.
PS: "Table #3: Dude is giving the cute red head the death stare. Hope we don't read something in the Daily News about her dissapearence tomorrow."
Thanks for the compliment ;) I made it home just fine after a very fun night.
Ciao
I happened to run into some attendees, who I know casually, at another local bar later. I asked what the nametags were for, so that's how I know where they were. From that they said, they had a good time.
woops sorry for double postin'
PPS: Billy, You didn't enjoy the event? That's too bad.
greasy.