NYC is Not So Manly

php2PhBBHPM.jpg Put down that silly book and stop ironing that tight-fit v-neck for a moment, lads, and know this: you're now a part of the least manliest city in the nation, according to some list. The #1 spot on the "America's Manliest Cities" index went to Nashville (home to an unhealthy number of NASCAR enthusiasts), with NYC falling right at the very bottom. They report, "Despite high ratings in the bowling category, New York City ranks 50th out of 50 in the study due to low scores in manly indicators such as fishing, home improvement and drag racing." Cities that got higher rankings did so through high purchases of salty snacks, number of hardware stores, monster truck rallies and, of course, sports bars. Fun trick: if you flip the list upside down you'll get the America's Most Educated Cities list, and hey, we're #1! [via Village Voice]

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I just farted - did that help move us up the list?

It's not that New Yorkers aren't "manly".
It's the fact that all these other states keep sending us there emo and hipster pussies.

yes.... i blame this all on brooklyn.

no you're wrong. we get all the awesome indy hipsters from the midwest and south here in brooklyn. They're a little whiny sometimes but they're very manly and really KOOL. please just give them a chance, they bring so much to our city, especially what with their wonderful beards.

Out of what trailer park did this study come from? I can see the sports bar crap, but since when are salty snacks an indication of manliness?

But I guess going to a museum and the flower show once a year does make you unmanly.

But then again trying to get your drunken date in the bed of your pickup truck when the doctor told you not to lift anything over 275 pounds would make you manly.

"Out of what trailer park did this study come from? I can see the sports bar crap, but since when are salty snacks an indication of manliness?"

Uh... the study came from a company that makes salty snacks. And also, company headquarters are in a trailer park.

Probably the same company that knowingly sold contaminated peanuts.

Why salty snacks? ...because it was a list put together as a marketing ploy by Combos (those nasty chemical-tasting pretzel-cheese things in vending machines).

From a Freudian standpoint, those "cheese filled pretzel things" are just a bit too manly.

From the roar of "drag racing" in the West Village, to the whirr of chainsaws in Bronx bathrooms, NYC is a virtual bull roast of manliness and machismo. Did I mention those super-tough machete wielding bicycle gangs in "South Williamsburg"? NY is so high octane, we blew (away) those fags in Nashville ages ago. They always think you're "in the rear" when you've actually "lapped" them several times.

It's pretty apparent that only mouth-breathing states truly care about how "manly" they are.

What about that six pointer that Jo Bob got first day when bow season opened? You don't find anyone in New York City that good with a bow now do you'al?

New York City men just don't know the proper way of how's to put meat on the table for their youngin's.

Just like I was shopping with my brother-in-law Earl at WalMart last week. He said he either had money for gas for his Camaro or going to the Hot Shot 500 in Boilsburg, Virginnie. Thems tough dicesions. But we grins and bears it, because are manly mens.

NASCAR isn't manly. Supposedly it has a bigger percentage of female fans than any other "major sport."

Nothing demonstrates pure masculinity than watching a suped-up car make 500 left turns over a 3 year time period. Except, of course, seeing your next door neighbors on "Cops" or waiting in line to buy tickets to see Larry the Cable Guy or refering to weapons of mass destruction as "newcleur".

I admire the sentiment, but one minor correction: it's "new-KEW-ler"

By the standards of this test, a 270-pound Brooklyn dockworker who could break your head without spitting out his unfiltered Marlboro...not manly.

He doesn't fish (because he knows what comes out of the East River). His house needs no improvement, other than to finish fixing up the Harley engine in the bathtub. He doesn't give a shit about drag racing or any other *cough* "sport" where you don't actually get to hit anyone. And he gets his food from a nasty diner, not a faux-country yuppie "BBQ" joint. And, most importantly, he doesn't eat little bags of cheese-filled pretzel turds.

Yeah, that dude's a fairy.

This is a joke. I've lived in Nashville. Southern men are some of the most p*ssy whipped men in the US.

That's because the old lady outweighs him by a 100 pounds.

Mmmm, serious research being done here from the Mars Snackfood corp - especially when it's done to promote a tour of Combos events at NASCAR events. (read the article, it's pretty damn funny).

To be fair, yes, NYC is very, uh, limp-wristed. I went out drinking with two buddies of mine who both talked for an hour about their shoes and a great pants sale where they each dropped $700 on designer clothes. And these are the straight New Yorkers who've been here all their life.

But, Do I care? Not really. Not until I, too, start asking if these pants make me look fat. But by then it'll be too late.

"NYC is very, uh, limp-wristed. I went out drinking with two buddies of mine who both talked for an hour about their shoes and a great pants sale where they each dropped $700 on designer clothes"

You can't blame NYC for your taste in friends. I'll guarantee no topic close to that will come up while I'm out drinking with my buddies.

Consider changing friends. They are making you sound very unmanly. If indeed that is something you are or are not concerned about. I wont even ask what they drink. On second thought, what do these two pants and shoe idolizers drink? Hopefully nothing with an umbrella between Labor and Memorial days. That would be so no no.

Because two of your friends represent the entire 8 million people who reside in New York.

well i'd love to have a home to improve but unfortunately i don't have $1.2 million.

When your concept of home repair focuses around duct tape and plastic sheeting, then you will truly understand the concept of home owning outside of New York City.

Sounds like the city just got handed a new campaign on a silver platter, "NYC, dead last in all the annoying redneck crap you left home to get away from".

I don't understand. When I go to the ballet at Lincoln Center, the place is filled with men.

The reason being that they are taking a break from boar hunting in West Virginia and the NASCAR season is not in full swing. The officials at NASCAR and the New York City Ballet coordinate their schedules so there is no overlap in their event schedule and special promotions.

I think bar fights per capita would be the most accurate indicator of manliness

Unfair. Too many Irish in New York.

You know when you're seeing someone from a 'manly' city on vacation because they suddenly get really quiet once a black man get on the same subway car.

when I read this, I almost spit out my organic fair-trade shade-grown yerba mate. can't wait to go to brunch with my hipster friends and discuss this over a mimosa.

Yeah, Muddy Waters sings all about the snack foods he likes in "Mannish Boy". That whole song was actually commissioned by Frito-lay.

I guess they're targeting men for their campaign because they know women are too smart to eat that crap.

The feminists' War On Testosterone is clearly working, at least in some parts of the country.

NYC can kick San Francisco's ass any day!

NYC can kick San Francisco's ass any day!

Chicago has a gay bar called the "man-hole" yet we only came in 46th. wtf.

That survey is so bogus. How about the Village People? Are you calling them unmanly? If so than you must be gay.

Not even NYC can be less manly than San Francisco.

If these are the criteria for being "manly", in the mind of simple mined ,fat, beer swilling slobs, please label me a mega-metrosexual. FAST.

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