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The Jamba Juice at 5th Avenue and 42nd Street was robbed at gunpoint yesterday morning. The robbery was a case of (peach) perfection with cops arriving in time to spot the assailant, but not able to capture him when he fled as swiftly as a (strawberry) surf rider. During the robbery, two employees on duty were given a (protein berry) workout as the robber, described as a six-foot tall black man, (chocolate) moo'd them to the back room. He then cleared out the cash register and safe while he likely achieved a state of (strawberry) nirvana. Despite being armed, no (wheatgrass) shots were fired and the thief can now only hope for some form of immunity (boost) if he is caught.
Armed Robbery in Midtown a Real Smoothie
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"...workout as the robber, described as a six-foot black man, (chocolate)..."
Taking lessons in racial relations from the NY Post?
Six foot black man? Hmm, haven't seen that in print in quite a while...
Can we have Jen Chung write again? This post was incredibly hard to read, being nothing more than a series of very strained puns.
ides, the whole post is just a cutesy play on Jamba Juice menu items.
I agree with Spiritof76.
It amazes me that a location such as that can get robbed....
ads are news now?
Domokun is NOT a suspect.
lol
Can we please refrain from making light of armed robbery? I know there are many frustrated writers who have grown up watching South Park, Family Guy and The Simpsons but not every story needs to be snarky.
I thought that was pretty amusing, I'm always up for some word games.
This story of an armed robbery is not funny, in bad taste, and shows that some of new people moving to New York, such as this writer, are really out of touch with the sobbering reality of violent crime. Laugh it up, jerk.
Ya - as a former Jamba employee, that would have been an utterly terrifying experience. Thanks for making light of it.
That was a nice bedtime story. A six foot chocolate black man huh? Was he in the shape of a cookie?
Ask the Keebler Elf. He was doin' him last night.
This was (every flavor of) stupid. Not to mention (80 kinds of) trying too hard and (51 varieties of) something you'd see in a middle school newspaper. Did an editor even *look* at this before it went out?
spot on.