Bankers' Girlfriends Form Support Group to Share Their Pain

Eric Struass

[UPDATE BELOW] A small but growing collective of shallow, gold-digging sybarites (numbering at least 30) have banded together and formed Dating a Banker Anonymous [DABA], a support group intended to help them cope with the recession's effects on their relationships. The Times got the scoop on this acquisitive little coven, which isn't really anonymous at all, perhaps because these young ladies want to be sure any remaining males with means know they're available. Megan Petrus and Laney Crowell (pictured), both 27, started the group in November because, with their relationships suffering, "We put two and two together and figured out that it was the economy, not us."

Recounting a recent breakup, one charming young lady reminded the group that "next time you are stressing over some finance guy, remember that he is just a math-club nerd. This recession just bought everyone an extra two years of the single life." But don't call them materialists! Ms. Petrus explains, "It’s not even about a $200 dinner. It’s that he’s an alpha male, he’s aggressive, he’s a go-getter, he doesn’t take no for an answer, he’s confident, people respect him and that creates the whole mystique of who he is."

And without that mystique, some DABA members whine that what's left is a just a needy boyfriend with nothing to offer beyond the dubious pleasure of his company. In a post on the DABA blog entitled "Ain’t Messin’ With No Broke Banker," one poor princess writes:

"This whole messy ordeal has advanced my Botox start date by at least two years. Like every other DABA girl, the economy was wreaking havoc on my relationship and youthful good looks...Until - the horror of all horrors - my FBF lost his job, which I guess technically downgrades him to just my BF. Overnight, he went from unavailable to downright clingy. He wants to have dinner every night. By dinner I mean staying in and cooking as Megu is no longer in the budget. AND, FYI DABA girls - chopping vegetables along side your man in a hot New York sized kitchen is NOTHING like the sexy kitchen scene between Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger in Nine and a Half Weeks. Seriously. It sucks.

Anyhow, he suggested I meet his parents over the holidays... My take on his 180: having no steady source of income for the foreseeable future, he realized that his chances of securing another fashion industry type girl are pretty much zilch and so he is cleaving to me as the last vestige of his former high rolling lifestyle.

Your heart just bleeds for them, doesn't it? Dawn Spinner Davis, a 26-year-old "beauty writer," tells the Times that she knew trouble was brewing when her husband, a private wealth manager, stopped playing golf, which was once his passion. "One of his best friends told me that my job is now to keep him calm and keep him from dying at the age of 35. It’s not what I signed up for." Til wealth do us part!

UPDATE: Aaaaand now they have a book deal, at least according to Fashionista. And if the publisher's smart, there'll be a vomit bag in every copy.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@gothamist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By John Del Signore in News on January 28, 2009 12:55 PM

Comments [rss]

blackpudding

hahahahahah, this cant be real though.

nice blog i discovered thought i should share

http://theyounganddisenchanted.wordpress.com/

ChelseaSW3Girl

Really; these girls are such wusses. Yes; I know you can't stereotype by nationality, but really, these US WAGS just don't compare well to their UK counterparts who are made of far sterner stuff.

http://chelsea-sw3-girl.blogspot.com/2009/02/city-wags-vs-wall-st-wags.html

Ent

I cannot believe that Ms. Petrus was dumb enough to reveal her identity. I would think a New York lawyer at a prominent New York firm would have better morals. Shame on you Ms. Petrus. To make matters worse, your not remotely attractive. No wonder that guy dumped you. You are a modern day, high priced callgirl! Shame on you! I can only imagine the embarrasment your firm must feel. I will surely never use your firm because it says a lot about the place. Anyone who employs you is not worth a dime! If you worked for me, I would fire you!

tobin

I am surprised that most of you believe this is true. Hilarity.

Clarice City

Those women are pigs.

Seizure

+1 point for you zodak

abcohen

TEAR!

uggg...

amandabee

Hold up. I finally read their blog.

Am I the only one who noticed that this is a joke? It is straight from the Onion. They're kidding. Or vying for a book deal. Or both.

amandabee

File them under "pathetic and depressing" next to people too broke to date. If cooking dinner with someone you've been dating steadily is a big downer for you ... I don't even know what to say. It is so easy to forget that there is a whole world of people out there who are completely lost without cash money. They all kind of suck.

Amanda Harletsch

Totally NYC epic: The downfall of the NYC WHORES as consequence of the downfall of the NYC JERKY BANKERS; both being New yorkers per excellence.

Felix Hoenikker

The gentleman is seated next to an attractive and proper young lady and engages her in conversation. Suddenly he says, "Would you sleep with me for a million dollars?" The lady blushes, but seeing the humor in the request, agrees. "Well, would you sleep with me for five dollars?"

"Certainly not!" she says, now offended. "Just what kind of woman do you think I am?"

"Madam, we've already established what you are. Now we're just haggling over the price."

chuzzlewit

do they make spanx for dignity?

mattyp4

My prediction? People will stop caring about this sometime around Saturday afternoon (if they haven't already done so already). It's stupid satire that gets tired FAST. The publishers are complete morons for offering these people a book deal-- THEY should be the ones losing their jobs!

Asphyxia8

Wow, times are tough! Even the Times has resorted to outsourcing writing assignments -- to The Onion!

Chocka

Go get 'em.

http://dabagirls.com/

Die Vacant Whores!

yg

This is SATIRE, a la The Leveraged Sell-Out

matty

Yeah i figured as much. :D

Steven

In ten years they will be washed up whores.

surfbrooklyn

This is very disturbing. Without a surplus of shallow, jerk-off bankers to buy the attention of these girls, they may try to "pass" as normal women.