Video: When Hairy Met Scientology

Fucking hilarious.

If I ever need to point out video that sums up NYC nicely, it'll be this one.

How do you combat a whacked-out science fiction cult created by a fat-assed blowhard?

With pubes, Vaseline and toenail clippings, that's how.

I just hope the kid doesn't get reamed too hard for his stunt. In the interest of poetic justice, he should be forced to listen to 100 hours of L. Ron Hubbard blathering about Xenu and the time he spent as a race car driver on Venus.

In regards to the shoplifter, I think it was a good bit because

Everything changes when I shoplift. I'm no longer negotiating with faceless, inhuman entities that have no concern for my welfare; instead, I'm taking what I need without giving anything up. I no longer feel like I am being forced into an exchange, and I no longer feel as if I have no control over the way the world around me dictates my life. I no longer have to worry about whether the pleasure I receive from the book I purchased was equal to the two hours of labor it cost me to be able to afford it. In these and a thousand other ways, shoplifting makes me feel liberated and empowered. Let's examine what shoplifting has to offer as an alternative way of life.

The shoplifter wins her prize by taking risks, not by exchanging a piece of her life for it. Life for her is not something that must be sold away for seven or eight dollars an hour in return for survival; it is something that is hers because she takes it for herself, because she lays claim to it. In stark contrast to the law-abiding consumer, the means by which she acquires goods is as exciting as the goods themselves; and this means is also, in many ways, more praiseworthy.

Shoplifting is a refusal of the exchange economy. It is a denial that people deserve to eat, live, and die based on how effectively they are able to exchange their labor and capital with others. It is a denial that a monetary value can be ascribed to everything, that having a piece of delicious chocolate in your mouth is worth exactly fifty cents or that an hour of one person's life can really be worth ten dollars more than that of another person. It is a refusal to accept the capitalist system, in which workers have to buy back the products of their own labor at a profit to the owners of capital, who thus get them coming and going.

Is no one else a South Park fan here? Obviously this prank is immature, but the whole thing about Gothamist upholding the same standards as the NYTimes seems to have been lost on me. South Park is not for all, but it's by far the best way to discuss adult issues while being completely immature.

The pubes idea is from the episode when Cartman seeks vengeance on Scott Tenorman (with special guests Radiohead - possibly the best episode ever).

The song is from the Lemmiwinks episode when Mr. Garrison shoves Lemmiwinks the class gerbil up Mr. Slave's ass in an effort to get fired and sue the school. As the boys are sent to the death camp of tolerance to learn respect, Lemmiwinks' journey through the insides of Mr. Slave is told via a song with the same jingle and similar lyrics.

C'mon people, lighten up! PS screw Scientology. Next one to offer me a free stress test in the subway station gets screamed at with violent obscenities.

I agree—"Scott Tenorman Must Die" is one of the very best South Park episodes. The level of Cartman malevolence peaks.

To suggest this story is 'beneath' Gothamist suggests that you hold Gothamist in high regard, which is sad. It's a website, with stories on it.

Go outside and play with your kid.

And for anyone that claims this hate crime is "not anonymous" or "not sanctioned by anonymous" please see that this comes right out of the "Anonymous Playbook" as posted on their forum along with other offensive "operations" such as one that begins "An anon takes laxatives a half an hour before going into the org to take a stress test, in shorts." That this material was left on the forum since May implicates Anonymous as a group, no matter how amorphous they may be.

Linky

FKN WEIRD!!!

Thanks for posting this!

TOTALLY NEW YORK.

I New Years Eve day (you remember how cold it was), in Times Square, a guy was walking around with shorts, boots, and that's it. I wonder if it was the same guy.

I agree with feral. Just some YouTube dumbass teenagers.

They get really into singing that song though, I must admit.

i thought this was going to be interesting until i heard the singing. and then "because you're fucking gay." this is on some 4th grade shit.

This wasn't even funny. Or interesting. Or even that good of a prank. Just run of the mill drivel from jackasses on Youtube.

Yeah, it is a stupid prank that will accomplish nothing, but who does Gothamist have to take the heat for reporting on it? It impacts your life about as much as a plane crashing into the Hudson. Not to mention that you could easily breeze right past this one without watching the video. Curiosity killed the cat.

"but who does Gothamist"

why, not who

NYC is a city full of highs and lows. And I don't know how this is "beneath" Gothamist—a religious (at least in the eyes of the government) organization was attacked in a crazy way and the perp filmed it!

Well for once Jen you're correct; there's little that's beneath Gothamist.

As for 'Anonymous', not so much it seems.

i picked my nose and flung it at City Hall this morning...Why is that not reported?!?!?!

WTF, Jen? This is stupid. +1 to #3

First the douche who shoplifts olive oil from Whole Foods to "survive" and now this shit? I know Gothamist has low standards, but this is ridiculous.

MY FAVORITE PART IS WHEN THEY CALLED SOMEONE GAY!! HAHAHA

This is beneath all of us.

I will stop reading gothamist for a week because of this.

Back from my self-imposed 1 week exile. Oh, gothamist, how can I stay mad at you?

I stand corrected.

This was apparently not beneath all of us.

Yeah, this is totally stupid, and the singing practically ruins it...but so what? Are you guys fans of Scientology? Probably not. You probably hate them. But what do you do about it? What do you do when you see a little table with "Free Stress Test" on it, and there's a bunch of people there who might get sucked in brainwashed and fork over their entire live savings? You do absolutely nothing. At least these guys are doing SOMETHING.

We'll miss you.

juvenile vandalism and harassment

I'm all for unbiased posting of news, but this is stupid and a degrades gothamist.