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Yesterday in Belmar Municipal Court, an innocent Jersey Shore town sought justice against a man who spent the summer bedding their women and eating their bagels, simply because he made them believe that he was Yankee phenom pitcher Joba Chamberlain. 30-year-old Ryan Ward has been charged with "theft by deception" after he swindled free food out of the Belmar Bagel Cafe last summer. Ward opened a newspaper to the sports section and pointed at "his picture," while asking female workers, "Do you know who I am?" He then autographed the newspaper, which owner Don Weston considered framing. (Ward has since returned to the cafe and paid for his free bagels and coffee).
But his reign of terror wasn't done there. A UPS driver reported Ward to police after having the lookalike autograph his electronic signature device and a losing lotto ticket. The driver learned the harsh truth after taking the signature to a sports memorabilia store and discovering it was a fake. Ward could face up to a year in prison for all of the charges. The police chief yesterday called him "a nut" and said, "We frown on people taking other people's identity."
Ward also claims to have hooked up with as many as 100 women along the Shore this summer under the guise that he was Joba. His lawyer Constantine Bardis yesterday seemed to think one of them turned Ward in as he told the court, "Picture waking up the next morning and realizing the guy you made love to last night was not Joba Chamberlain." He also said, "What's the crime in pretending to be someone? I'm Mel Gibson; want to have a drink?" The duo kicked their routine into high gear when the Bardis said Ward "goofed around cause he kind of looked like the guy" to which Ward corrected, "He looks like me."
Ward's doppelganger isn't having the best off-season himself, having been arrested for a DUI after an altercation at a nudie bar. And in case Belmar Mayor Ken Pringle was wondering, Ward is not from Staten Island, but rather a Jersey Shore resident.
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I'd have more sympathy for the bagel shop owner if his first instinct was to make the wealthy sports star pay for his bagel and coffee and save the freebies for for some poor slob down on his luck.
"Ward also claims to have hooked up with as many as 100 women along the Shore this summer under the guise that he was Joba."
Well, that's what you get if you want to be a star-fucker.
That probably isn't too difficult for any guy who doesn't look like a celebrity to do.
Seriously. While he is a douchebag, the girls and business owners weren't forced to have sex with him and give him free stuff. They are the victims of their own making! NO SYMPATHY from me.
Also - someone opening a newspaper and pointing to a picture of themselves, saying "Do you know who I am?" "Give me free shit!" would get a "no" and a punch from me.
Oh, how fun it is to pretend you're in a particular situation! (not being facetious)
I would say "yeah, I know who you are, a guy who makes a shit ton more money than anyone in this town, now pay up, buddy!"
I agree with #2. If the Jersey Shore/vacationing Staten Island girls consented to sex, I don't see what their argument could be. "Well, he told me he was a Yankee and my friends and I always talked about how cool it would be to sleep with a professional athlete."
Further, anybody who knows anything about Joba knows he likes Subway sandwiches, not bagels.
Any woman who spreads her legs for a guy because she thinks he's a celebrity is a skank. In this case, not even a smart skank who can spot the phonies.
These people deserve each other.
1- The Jersey shore is arguably the easiest to pickup easy chicks.
2- I have much more "respect" for this guy then the shoplifter who the gothamist endorsed yesterday.
If he hooked up with more than 100 girls on the Jersey Shore, jail is the least of his worries.
I think those Belmar cops were just jealous of this guy because for years they've been passing themselves off as David Wells but alas, no downshore cootchie.