Onion Writer's Joke Sparks eBay Bidding War!

Onion writer John Harris (pictured) is trying to sell an unspecified joke on eBay because he "can't find a contextual home" for it. The punchline is that bids have already soared to $365, despite his self-effacing sales pitch: "To be fair, it's less of a joke and more of a dated, Capote-esque cocktail party bon mot, but decidedly more feeble. The best one can reasonably expect from this item is a self-satisfied chuckle, such as can be observed issuing from someone wearing a turtleneck while reading the Harper's Index. If that didn't make you barf, please continue reading. The item in question will be clearly hand-printed on a 3x5 index card and mailed to the winning bidder upon receipt of payment. It has never been used, and the buyer assumes all responsibility for any consequences that might stem from sharing this joke, including the dissolution of friendships and romantic relationships due to loss of respect." [Via The Comic's Comic]