Star of Bethlehem Not the Only Way to Track Jesus This Year

Baby Jesus is coming strapped this Christmas—with GPS! Many churches and synagogues in the area are equipping their nativity scenes and menorah displays with the locating system to impede hooligans who often use the holiday season to get their jollies via vandalism, costing the places of worship up to thousands of dollars for the sometimes pricey decorations. New York-based firm BrickHouse Secruity offered free, short term loans of GPS to religious institutions that now will be notified immediately by email if their display is moved. Reverend Bob Gorman of St. Ambrose Church in Old Bridge, New Jersey told The Star-Leger, "We call it God's Positioning System." Their church is currently planning to to drill a hole in Baby Jesus' backside to slip in the GPS device before the figure is placed in the manger on Christmas Eve. Somewhere King Herod wonders in defeat, "Why didn't I think of that?"