Pencil This In

EVENT: OMFG, the Jonas Brothers are totally going to be at Barnes & Noble today. They'll be signing copies of their tour diary, Burning Up, and it's safe to assume they'll also perform a couple of tunes. It's also safe to assume you won't be able to hear them over the throngs of screaming tweenagers.

Friday // 3 p.m. // Barnes & Noble [555 5th Ave] // Free

MUSIC/TICKET GIVEAWAY!: Tonight, head over to a more grown-up show. Mr. Brownstone, the Guns n' Roses cover band who were recently seen on the Letterman stage (video), will be rocking the old school Axl songs at Irving Plaza tonight. Wanna go? Email us at GothamistContest(at)gmail(dot)com, and tell us your favorite non-Chinese Democracy G n' R jam.

Friday // 8 p.m. // Irving Plaza [17 Irving Place] // $25

MORE MUSIC: Your guitar hero and ours, Marnie Stern, is playing two NYC shows this weekend. First up, she'll be at Music Hall of Williamsburg tonight, and tomorrow night at Santos Party House. We suggest you go to both, and perhaps loosen the purse strings a little to get a smooch from Marnie herself. Tonight, get there early for Zs, and leave early to miss the abomination that is Gang Gang Dance.

Friday and Saturday // 8 p.m. and 11:30 p.m. // MHOW and Santos Party House // $15

THEATER: Cape Disappointment, the new full-length play from The Debate Society, is presented as a night at the B movies, with the upstairs space at P.S. 122 transformed into a romantically decayed drive-in theatre, replete with vintage speaker boxes installed throughout the audience. Alternating vignettes evoke a Gothic world of lost highways, traveling salesmen, Eisenhower-era teens, and roadside bandits. As usual with these imaginative master debaters, atmosphere trumps plot, but the impeccable design and dazzling performances leave you wondering, "Who needs narrative, anyway?" Here's our full review. – John Del Signore

Friday // 8 p.m. // P.S. 122 [150 First Ave] // $18

EVENT: Tomorrow night McSweeney's presents Wholphin, which they describe as "footage of Dennis Hopper blowing himself up with 23 sticks of dynamite" and other clips that will evoke a "Wow!" and/or "Huh?" They note that the footage is "collected on the quarterly DVD 'magazine' Wholphin (an outgrowth of Dave Eggers’ beloved McSweeney’s)." This seventh installment includes a short film by Gus Van Sant based on a short story by William S. Burroughs; a face-off between American gray squirrels and their red counterparts in Britain; bumper cars, UFOs, and more.

Saturday // 7:30 and 10 p.m. // 92nd St Y Tribeca [200 Hudson St] // $12

COMEDY: The Stella guys (pictured) are back at Union Hall this weekend; catch Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter and David Wain doing their thing at the intimate venue. Chances of getting tickets are slim, but maybe a post-Thanksgiving/pre-Christmas miracle is in the stars.

Saturday // 8 and 10 p.m. // Union Hall [702 Union St, Brooklyn] // $10

EVENT: On the eve of World AIDS day, all are welcome to come together at The Riverside Church hosts a candlelighting. More details here on their "Stop AIDS. Keep the Promise 2008" program. And read more about World AIDS Day here.

Sunday // 4 p.m. // Riverside Church [490 Riverside Drive] // Free

THEATER: HILLARY: A Modern Greek Tragedy With a (Somewhat) Happy Ending has a clever premise: "Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom, and Aphrodite, the goddess of love, have been at war since time immemorial. When a young girl named Hillary Rodham devotes herself to Athena alone—spurning romance, makeup, and attractive hairstyles—Aphrodite takes revenge by having her fall in love with a man of mythical charm and appetites: Bill Clinton." Megin Jimenez finds the production, by New Georges, funny and incisive, writing, "No doubt most audience members will still be recovering from their media addiction during the past roller-coaster year, and Hillary provides the happy antidote of art, filling in the bigger picture with humor, history, and individual human stories." – John Del Signore

Sunday // 8 p.m. // The Living Theatre [21 Clinton St] // $20