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Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz Name Son "Bronx"

WENTZBRONX.jpgLast night Ashlee Simpson and husband Pete Wentz welcomed a baby boy into their lives, and in turn, all of our lives. You didn't think these two would give this little guy a normal name, did you? Unlike many celeb couples who allow their kid a shot with a normal middle name, this one is just screwed no matter what way you look at it: Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Words fail. The proud pop explained the decision, with US noting that "his goal was to make sure his kid would have a moniker that would work as either 'a rock star or a senator.'" While Brooklyn Beckham hasn't seemed to tarnish his namesake borough yet, the Bronx may want to consider changing its name as a precautionary measure. And Staten Island better watch out, too—your name just rolls off the tongue in conjunction with "Spears," don'tchyathink?

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Comments [rss]

  • NannyState

    Red Hook Wentz. Could grow up to be a boxing champ or a pirate.

  • Future Taliban

    Plus I guess 'Dumbo' is already taken.

  • Future Taliban

    Oh come on! Who would EVER want to name their baby "Wentz"?



    Really..

  • Spirit of 76

    Eh. The kid was already screwed with that last name anyway. Although I think they should have named the kid Coney. How about Gowanus? Bayside? Gravesend. Upper West Side. I got it: DUMBO! Wait, that's the parents.

  • other_islander

    Revoke thier breeding license...



    NEXT!!

  • Felix Hoenikker

    Why are the pretty ones always so dumb.

  • JMH

    This is not Gawker.

  • kapusta

    how'bout Intercourse? as in Intercourse, Pennsylvania.

    follow me closely on this one...Intercourse Bronx Intercourse Mowgli Intercourse Wentz Intercourse

  • Wza

    Yeh...I don't know what to say on this one.

  • las2381

    Yup it is from the Jungle book.... tisk tisk. And technically shouldn't he be called "The Bronx"??

  • JRod5417

    They could have at least given him a normal middle name, but nooooo. Mowgli! Really? Isn't that a Jungle Book character?

  • Steven

    In a few years Ashlee will be a single mother.



    What kind of name is Bronx anyway?

  • r1b2

    Actually, there's no "the." It's just "Bronx."



    These people simple shouldn't be allowed to breed. Fast forward 15 years:



    "Mom, dad, I f**king hate you."

  • thelexiphane

    He's just Mowgli In the Ruckh,

    His parents are fools who named him Bronx



    -Kipling, PEACE OUT!

  • gasoline serpent

    Flushing Meadows Wentz has a much better ring to it. Or Canarsie.



    These kids fail at reproduction.

  • Toby von Meistersinger

    It sounds like something that someone would mumble while drunk. But with these two. . .

  • robingee

    Are we surprised? These 2 are not the brightest bulbs in the tanning bed.

  • bxbrian

    ugh. this will make going home suck.



    it's still no better a name than brooklyn. if i were a teacher that kid would get the dunce cap because of his parents.

  • Tgirl

    this is what happens when you let two dipshits reproduce

  • SC

    Jonas Bronck does not approve.

  • J_

    Upper West Side Soweto Wentz?

  • Jen Chung

    Wow, Jenny from the Block didn't even go this far with baby-naming!

  • smitty

    B.M.

  • Peter

    Maybe they think this ridiculous name will toughen up the kid, as in "A Boy Named Sue."

  • ultragrrrl

    Merlin Bronques = official baby photog?

  • Billiamsburg

    now they have to live in the bronx right? or do rich white people only get to act tough by proxy and press release?

  • ANGRYGOD11

    It's THE BRONX, not Bronx.

    That's why it's THE worst name.

  • patnugent

    Epic Humor Fail with this article.

  • Clarice City

    Calling dibs on Staten Island!

  • zoofroy

    And when you put those initials together, you get BMW! Sponsorship, anyone?

  • WesleySnipesAlot

    Badonkadonks (there ya go.)

  • matty

    He should name his kid Wilmette, IL.



    We got your number, Pete!

  • nothing really rhymes with Bronx

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