Pencil This In

ART: The New Yorker crowd is hosting their fourth annual Passport to the Arts event, which consists of a self-guided tour of twenty-eight top Chelsea galleries, an evening cocktail reception, and a silent auction benefiting Friends of the High Line at the massive la.venue (where the Food and Wine Festival had their crazy dessert orgy.) And if you're the collecting type who doesn't have the cash to buy high at auction, you'll be into the commemorative passport they give you, which you can get stamped with a specially-designed artist stamp at each gallery along the art crawl. – John Del Signore

Saturday // 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. // Chelsea, with reception at la.venue [608 West 28th Street at 11th Avenue] // $45, with cash-only tickets sold day-of at la.venue

EVENT: History nerds, tomorrow is your day! It's the Sixth Annual Andrew H. Green Tribute Ceremony and Bike Ride. "Members of the Green family, representatives of the American Scenic and Historic Preservation Society, and Parks Department officials were present when the Andrew H. Green Memorial Bench was dedicated in Central Park in 1929. Five elm trees, representing the boroughs of Greater New York, were positioned around the monument. The bench was moved in the 1970s or 1980s to make room for the park's composting operation. In 1998 five new maple trees were planted to replace the long-gone elms." The bike tour will depart immediately after the ceremony.

Saturday // 12 noon // Green Memorial Bench in Central Park // Free

EVENT: The tech wizards over at Eyebeam have turned their big Chelsea space into a 5000-foot labyrinthine installation of "subterrestrial delights," where thirty performers, artists, and musicians will "recreate the myth of the urban underground for a one-night art performance and party." They're calling it Mixer Undergound, and it sounds pretty gonzo; there are supposedly going to be "human-sized rats and electronic insects lurking behind every corner." Also lurking will be musical guests Roxy Cottontail and Judi Chicago. These parties tend to sell out, so you should probably buy now if you're going. – John Del Signore

Saturday // 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. // Eyebeam [540 West 21st Street] // $15

THEATER: Funny as Crutch features nine short plays by Rich Orloff that skewer "perceptions and projections both towards and within the disabled community." The Times has a rave review today: "Among the many, many pleasures of Funny as a Crutch is watching Shannon DeVido steal every scene she’s in. Ms. DeVido, who uses a wheelchair, is in conventional terms the least mobile member of the troupe, but her stage presence and comic timing are exquisite, meshing perfectly with Orloff’s witty, unpredictable script." Martin Denton concurs, writing, "Funny as a Crutch packs in about a dozen laughs per square foot, and raises your consciousness at the same time. What more can you ask for?" – John Del Signore

Sunday // 3 p.m. // Abingdon Theatre Arts Complex [312 West 36th Street, First Floor] // $18

MUSIC: The Mountain Goats and Kaki King are playing together this Sunday, and even though it means being inside Webster Hall for two full sets...we highly recommend it. Check out Kaki King's guitar stylings down on the F platform here, then buy your tickets.

Sunday // 7 p.m. // Webster Hall [125 East 11th St] // $23