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The current global food crisis signifies many things, including waning tolerance for exclusive, speakeasy-style bars. The newest, most secretest Lower East Side club of all, called El Baño, has all of the trappings of Marcel Duchamp readymade, only more scatological. From a post on Down By The Hipster last week, quoting the club's reps:
El Baño is a secret club, and like all things secret it's only known by few.So it came to pass that, today, many recipients (including Grub Street, DBTH, and Guest of a Guest) received an uncut key to the club, which allegedly opens next week.To gain access to the club you must first possess a key. You see, first you go into a lovely little bodega and enter the bathroom with your key. You will see a bouncer in the bathroom guarding a stall. You give him the nod and he'll open the door and a wall will slide open revealing the club. Getting a key is easy. If you're our friend you already have one. If you're famous or strikingly beautiful, you already have one. We make mistakes though, and may want to offer you a key.
For those who give a shit, here are a few “droppings” in the El Baño puzzle: 1) Their website was registered in 2006, and 2) Today’s “secret clue,” found under the “where are we located?” section of their website, is a piece of QR Code meant to be read with a mobile phone, which translates the graphic into a URL. The decoded URL opens on a message that reads, "People who we deemed deserving of a key have been mailed one. You might notice they are uncut. Instructions on where to get the key cut at are forthcoming."
Oddly enough, Gothamist received a roll of toilet paper, but with no key attached, ha ha. Thanks, secret Lower East Side Toilet club people. We don't want to go to your shitty club anyway; NM-UH will always be our #1 club parody headquarters.
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The postman stole your key.
It would have been funnier if the toilet paper were used. Maybe next time around.
the DEA didn't receive a key either and i'm sure they'll have a eye out on this place.
My dream to open a posh club in the sewers becoming closer to reality every day.
mrnoah- isn't that basically what they did in Guys & Dolls, with the dice games in the sewer?
makes sense....figure a bunch of turds thinking they're cool..
Is the velvet rope brown?
Jen Chung is hot when he/she writes about steaming feces clubs. More please. with dingleicious details attached.
Who gives a sh*t?
My key only works at Gawker. Funny thing, they have a toilet attendant too.
I will spend years climbing my way up the social ladder to get invited to this establishment so that I may upper decker its toilets.
I'm sure some idiot will walk into the wrong bodega and get shot for going near the drug stash.
This is like all the other underground LES clubs, the only people who care are the hipsters.
Amen, Bouncing Soul.
And I don't think this could be real? I think it's just mildly funny satire on people who think that getting keys to secret clubs means they're SOMEONE.
If it is real then who would waste their time doling out dumb coded clues and uncut keys?
And I think it's pretty obvious that anything advertised all over the internet is never "underground" or "secret."