Montauk Monster's Remains Stolen, Press Tour Continues

The Montauk Monster is still in the news (and on the Colbert Report), with the East Hampton Star now reporting that the mystery carcass is missing! More disturbing than that and the fact that the nation has been staring at a dead, bloated dog for a week, is the fact that the two locals holding the remains were planning to profit from the dead body. The duo were planning on reducing it to bones, creating some sort of artistic piece out of it, and watching the money roll in.

"Someone came and took the carcass. Now I have to hunt for my damn creature," said Eric Olsen, a Montauk real estate agent and surfer who retrieved the rotting animal from the beach.

"I took the creature off the beach at 11:30 in a bag, and put it in the back of my car. I brought it to Noel Arikian's, and we were going to reduce it to bones," a disappointed Mr. Olsen said on Sunday.

According to the plan, the "monster's" bones were to be given a lucrative artistic touch by Rafael Mazzucco, a fashion photographer and artist who has a house in Montauk. Mr. Olsen said the artist had more than one New York City patron interested.

The carcass was decomposing on Arikian's property, where someone stole it from the woods (*cough* the government *cough*). Clearly, some still aren't convinced that this is a canine, or some other real life creature. Some theories include that it's "a mutant from the animal testing facility on Plum Island," however the Department of Homeland Security run facility has denied it, saying in a statement that it's probably a dog, and that "it is not associated with the work performed at Plum Island Animal Disease Center (PIADC)." They would say that.