PetalBelle: Aw, this cute new SoHo waffle place from the owners of Lombardi’s will, Thrillist reports, be serving Belgian “liege” waffles made with “a wide-grain Scandinavian sweetener some call ‘pearl sugar,’ and others ‘Nütra Sweet.’” Eater further notes that there are “four flavors of gelato" and – deep breath – "basic coffee drinks." 158 Sullivan St, (212) 677-1580
Botinica: Red Hook has a fancy new bar to go with its fancy new Swedish retailer. It’s located down the street from Sunny’s, but details are scant thus far. Eater points us to Amy Langfield’s New York Notebook, which has this report: “Just ordered fancy 10 dollar cocktails at brand new bar Botanica, two blocks from Sunny's on Conover in Red Hook. Husband ordered Death in the Afternoon: champagne, absinthe and san bitters. There's a 35 dollar beer on the menu, albeit for a 25 ouncer.” Giant expensive beers are all fine and good, but can they compete with Sunny Balzano tap dancing on the bar? (Which actually happened.) Corner of Conover and Coffey Streets, Red Hook
Whiskey Town: You also have Thrillist to thank for the scoop on Whiskey Tavern, a new watering hole with a backyard patio from the owners of Whiskey Town. Unlike its predecessor, there is beer on tap at Tavern to compliment the deep wealth of dark spirits. To line the stomach, options include wings, poppers, burgers, egg & cheese sandwiches, and Hostess cupcakes. Thrillist rhapsodizes: “What about that special spot where the preferred customer is a toothless vet smoking through his trach as he stacks quarters for his next Seven and Seven? Live that dream, at Whiskey Tavern.” 79 Baxter St, (212) 374-9119
Photo of PetalBelle courtesy Steve Bryant/Thrillist.




SERVICE COMPROMISED
Spit 'n' polish mark the decor
Once you pass the restaurant door;
But gripe your steak's not as you wish,
Get a glob of spit in your dish.
What you asked for was, No onions?
Bang! the size of Paul Bunyan's bunions;
And the salad you've looked forward to
Has a bug that's coming toward you.
Yet you can't eat home in the kitchen
Even if your spouse would pitch in;
High-end stove, so gleaming in looks,
Filled to the brim with dusty books.
So your options are circumscribed
Warding off what was described.
There, however, is safety at hand:
Have your meals at a sidewalk stand.
While you watch the curbside chef,
Honest Jack, Abdul or Steph,
Prepping food that's free of spittle,
Rejoice! They'll make you fit as a fittle.