July 21, 2008
Live from Bellevue: Reality Show Syndrome!
It was bound to happen: YouTube-itis, or more accurately "Truman Show Delusion," which is what doctors are calling the malady that has patients claiming they're starring in their own reality television shows. Joel Gold of Bellevue Hospital is currently treating five patients with the disease that he says "involves the entire world." The patients are men between the ages of 25 and 34 who believe they are the "focus of attention by millions and millions of people" and that everyone has been written into their script. One patient said "he planned to climb to the top of the Statue of Liberty, and if his true love were waiting for him, the puppeteer strings would be cut. If she failed to show up, he would jump to his death." There's clearly only one way to stop this disease from spreading: end all reality television.
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Or let the idiot jump. Anyone have a nominee form for the Darwin Awards?
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Why would you want to end reality television? it's the best thing that's ever happened to me cause reality television made me stop watching TV. I used to watch TV with a passion. Days and days of watching Sanford and Son, Twin Peaks, and all that good stuff. Good scripted TV. I was hooked and a lazy couch potato. All of a sudden, reality television comes along and panders to gays and females exclusively and the death grip of TV was released. I'm free cause there is nothing good left on television no more.
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Truman Show is really freaky to watch if you're really high.
or so I'm told.
"We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented."
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BH, you're dead on again. I am no longer a slave to the stupid-tube. No American Idol, Big Brother, Survivor, the other drivel. Even TLC is brain dead, painting & flipping houses. We're now free to watch How It's Made, Universe, Blue Planet, etc. LEARN SOMETHING. There is no Network TV or VH?, except for those whose EEG is flatline. Even Sabado Gigante or RAI2 is more fun.
I love it when people ask "who do you think is going to win/be picked on ********?(enter your idiot show here). I nicely display my rat's-ass & rolling donut, smile, & go "Huh?".
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There's a great book called "The Three Christs of Ypsilanti" about a psychiatrist at Ypsilanti State Hospital in Michigan who found three of his patients believed that they were the true savior. So he brings them together in the same room to hash out their claims and prove to them that if at all, only one of them could possibly be Christ. Long story short, all three emerged from those sessions still believing they were the true Messiah.
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Why not give these people the attention they think they get? Make them live together in a makeshift asylum in the Bronx. Make way for "The Real Cuckoo's Nest."
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If it wasn't for me all you people here wouldn't be here.
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Oh, the days before reality television, how I miss them. It's like the days before they played pharmaceutical ads on television. A sad memory of childhood now.
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Like there were no mentally ill people before TV. This is just a new way of an illness manifesting itself.
Tune in tomorrow to see if I will wear the black pants or the brown ones.