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The Post has the latest "oh sweet Christ, what the hell is this thing in my food!?" story, and this one’s a keeper: 27-year-old John Agnesini plans to sue Subway after he found a large serrated knife baked into the bread of his 12-inch cold-cut sub. Agnesini bought it from a Subway on West 35th Street last month during his lunch break:
After taking a few bites I could tell something didn't taste right. Then I felt something hard on the bottom of the bread. I turned it over and could see the knife baked inside. It's shocking. You see this metal knife. I mean, it's one thing seeing a hair or something. If I didn't look at it, could you imagine what would happen? I could've slashed the side of my mouth.”That’s what his lawyer’s talking about! As if paying homage to Kramer’s lawyer Jackie Chiles, Agnesini’s attorney Yetta Kurland tells the Post, “It is outrageous that someone would have to worry about swallowing a metal knife and it is unthinkable that Subway, which makes fortunes off its campaign of 'Eat fresh,' would allow something like this to happen.”
Agnesini, a designer for Homo Xtra magazine (“the hottest guide to gay nightlife and culture in New York City!”), says he wasn’t injured but did became violently ill with "severe stomach issues" for three hours. A doctor diagnosed him with food poisoning and Agnesini suspects contaminants from the “filthy” melted plastic handle of the knife seeped into his first innocent bites of the sandwich.
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This beats my high school story when I bit into something that was baked into my cinnamon raisin bagel. It turned out to be a band-aid.
Then again, maybe not.
Lucky he didn't put the sandwich up his ass!
i can't believe he's ONLY suing for a mil. i'd be takin these fools out of business.
Wow, so I guess they DO bake their own bread.
yep, that look's like their crappy subway knife,
they use that to slice the cheese in triangles.
This post is outstanding, egregious, outrageous, and preposterous.
I don't understand. Was he injured in any way? What's the mil for? A harmless, albeit dangerous mistake?
Deceiving headline! At first I thought he found it in the subway system and decided to eat it anyway. Yuck!
Do they mean to suggest that the sub was not cut in half or that the knife was less than 6" long?
I smell something and it isn't the delicious aroma emanating from every subway oven.
JRod, they indeed DO bake their own. I used to work at one WAY back and am surprised I never accidentally did something like this. Although I did burn an entire batch of bread once and had to close early.
This has Finger-in-the-Wendy's-Chili written all over it.
Um ya, I'd like the footlong BMT on wheat with swi... no make it provolone, oh, and extra tongue please!
Well, no need to subsist on his crappy magazine anymore.
good point PR Pimp, they always cut foot-longs in half when they finish preparing it.
Mr. Agnesini is going to need a really good lawyer. A really good defense lawyer.
So, this guy got food poisoning for three hours????? I've had food poisoning before and it's always lasted 16 hours or better. I'm calling bullshit on this one. Sounds like a money-grab. Look into this guy's finances, I guarantee he's about a cool mil in debt.
If the picture is the sandwhich in question then 1)Where did he take his first bite and 2)Why wasnt the sandwhich cut and 3) if it was cut, how did they not detect the knife when cutting through the bread? It all doesnt add up. Its like he thought if he only sued for a million it would work. Also if it was baked into the bread why does the bread still look intact and why is there tuna and lettuce all over it? Shady
that's like me suing a taxi driver for almost hitting me on the curb of a street but I saw him and was able to jump out of the way.
some idiot made a mistake and should be held accountable as an individual. how is this subway’s fault as a corporation (unless he intends to prove they have sub-standard operating procedures or training). it’s crap for this guy to try and make a quick fortune and it’s crap that we let individuals hide behind fictional corporate culpability. i bet joe employee would take his time if he was actually held liable for his responsibility as a food service prep. disclaimer: i’ve worked corporate food service and know what a terrible job it can be, but that’s no excuse for a mistake like this unless he felt a manager was forcing him to rush or something.
Sue? Oh please. Everything that happens does not require a lawsuit. Can't he just get a bunch of free sandwiches for life or something? Why does he NEED a million dollars?
Although I call shenanigans on this too (I rarely ever believe in the 'there's a thumb in my chili lawsuits', I can't do so because of the length of the knife. That knife is between 5 1/2 to 6 inches. Plus, if you measure most Subway sandwiches, they are longer than the 6" (usually around 7") or foot long (closer to 14") they purport them to be.
Another thing.. to fill the sandwich, you have to open the bread (duh). Is it really possible to slice the bread, fill it with tuna and other crap, and NOT notice this? Maybe it is.. but it seems unlikely to me.
Make Jared eat that sandwich
Why anyone would be eating the bad over priced food is anyone's guess.
so if you dont lose weight eating the sandwiches, they provide an alternate means to shave off a few pounds
I saw the Agnesini guy speak on the local news. He's an opportunist. He didn't even bite into the blade. His "food poisoning" was a little bit of the plastic that rubbed into the bread in the one bite that he took out of it. The worst reaction he got from the sandwich was his appalling disgust at having the workers be dismmissive about it. I kid you not, he was up in arms about being dismissed, and that's pretty much the only damage he got.
Get outta here -- if he got food poisoning it was from the food, not the knife. Because the knife was baked into the bread at very high temperatures.
But that just makes that sandwich a double whammy.
OMG! So like, I was working my shift at Subway on West 35th, and like the phone ran and it was my friend and she was like so totally bummed and I like had to talk to her cuz she found out her boyfriend was like cheating on her and I'm like he so does not deserve you, and the manager came and like gave me trouble for talking so long and anyways I went back to the sandwich I was making for this dude, I mean he looked sooo gay, and OMG that's where I left my knife!
"It is outrageous that someone would have to worry about swallowing a metal knife"
Really? He could have swallowed that whole knife? Somebody call Coney Island or Ringling Brothers! We have a new candidate for the sword swallower act.
The Post gives the impression that that picture is of the actual sandwich with the actual knife. Sure looks like the knife is longer than half of the sandwich. Don't know how it could have stayed hidden when the sandwich was sliced in half as others have mentioned here. Unless he asked for it not to be cut, which would be very fishy if you ask me. (Please, don't go for the cheap jokes about the gay man wanting his big and long.)
Its odd to read an article like this.
First, if the knife was baked for 12 minutes at 350 degrees, I think the plastic handle would have been melted much more than in the above picture
Secondly, like somone said, a 7 inch knife does not fit into a 6 inch half of a sandwich. And if he took a few bites and realized something didnt taste right he would have bitten into the knife. All footlong sandwiches are halved, unless it is requested that they are not
Some production problems with that sandwich also
1) Dont appear to be any bread scores on the roll. Subway scores the roll four times.
2) Subway has been removing the square sheet of Deli Paper from its sandwiches for quite some time now
3) What is up with the oddly halved piece of tomatoe. There should be 6 tomatoes on that full sandwich - but only see a half - that appears to be perfectly cut with a knife.
Something is not right here.
This lawsuit and this "victim" are both frivolous on their face. The guy has probably tried this before and thinks this "food poisoning" story is going to be his winning lottery ticket. if he had any balls, he would have chomped the knife and damaged his teeth and gums. There's $50,000 right there, a little sepsis, and oooh, $100,000 more. If he choked on his blood and died, we'd all be laughing.Then again,a $5,000 nuissance settlement and he's back at that magazine, trying to be witty to an audience of horny crystal meth freaks looking for some rough trade in Queens.
he'll end up getting 5 figures in the settlement and then have to pay 45% to lawyer fees
Must have ordered the prisoner special.
I once found a fry cutter blade (like a razor) in my fries at Nathan's in Coney Island.
that reminds me of that time there was a sword in my trout after i ordered swordfish.
In any event, it's not Subway's POLICY to bake knives into their food. This is an isolated incident that does not merit 1 $1Mill payoff.
Maybe Jared is in cahoots with this guy to extort all kinds of $$ from Subway.
Or maybe he just casually asked for it: "Lettuce, tomatoes, onions, knife, peppers." just so he could sue later.
The grossest part of this story is the fact that homeboy ordered a cold cut trio. Three different colors of bologna...yum!
Let me just tell you something. I know this guy and he is known to be a huge lyer. BIG TIME! And likes attention!
Man this is why you don't eat at Subway, Quizno's tastes way better. He's an idiot for not suing for more, a million is nothing for Subway.
I see ungdos.
"Lettuce, tomatoes, onions, knife, peppers." just so he could sue later.
Let me have a Three Musketeers, and a ball point pen, and one of those combs there, a pint of Old Harper...
it's like the prize in the cereal box if he gets any sum of money out of this (larger than the 4USD for the sandwich itself). only in the states ..
Very funny post... I love it, you guys are hilarious.. Very naughty gay guy trying to steal from these people, they should lock him up...