While some New Yorkers are hustling to pick up free condoms distributed by Trojan today, others are showing their support for the presidential candidate of their choice by ordering John McCain and Barack Obama condoms from a local entrepreneur. If you haven’t heard about this yet, expect an email from your corniest family member in, oh, about five minutes.

Benjamin Sherman’s online company is selling the rubbers for $9.95 a pair, and the dueling websites are just loaded with comedy stylings: Obama condoms are “for the elitist penis, they won’t leave a bitter taste in your mouth,” and are perfect for “when you just want to close the deal.” If you thought that was funny, just make sure you swallow your coffee before reading about the McCain condoms, which are “old but not expired” and will “give your ‘troops’ the protection they deserve.”

Yeah, November is a long way off; we're definitely going to need more sad trombones.