Gothamist: Bike Thief Mind Tricks: Hey, Let Me 'Try Out' Your Bike!

kit

Sat, 10 May 2008 04:25:00 -0500

like no-one here ever got duped? sure its pretty lame but fuck theres some high-horse riders outs there!

Ph

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:24:18 -0500

Mott wins the thread.

Mott the Hoople

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 10:36:08 -0500

yeah this kinda stuff just saddens me. as i was reading the account i kept thinking, "oh man, i bet they're gonna suck each other's dicks, i bet they're gonna suck each others dicks right in the street." crazy world, i guess. but i refuse to give up hope in the fairy tale ending, you know? i mean, the american dream-- finding the man who stole your bike and then 69-ing for hours.

JRod5417

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 10:24:25 -0500

Methinks the home-made cross tattoo was a dead give away for prison time.

JenChungsBra

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:41:00 -0500

"Herb" was a [failed] Burger King creation. What he really got in plain English is INTIMIDATED.

Spiritof76

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 07:56:11 -0500

Look, the blogger's riding around on a brakeless, fixed gear bike with flat bars that he calls his "track bike." No way a bike with those handlebars will ever be used on a track. He's just one of those poseurs. Why would anyone need an Aerospoke wheel for city riding? The way he screams for attention with those SPD pedals and bright paint job, it was going to be stolen sooner or later. No sympathy.

ihateallbrokers

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 07:46:44 -0500

if you want to get 80's. at least act like you know... yoked is like a headlock, you get yoked up from behind with a headlock & one or two arms immolibilzed while someone else rifles your pockets... he got HERBED, scarface dude caught a herb, like the mcdonalds campaign, catch a herb get some cash! (spot the herb guy from the ads at a local micky d's win a prize) or you can say he got vicked, like Victimized. jacked is good too..bike jacked ha!

arsguide

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 01:05:41 -0500

at least embellish the story and say he had a gun -

nycgurl

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 23:06:05 -0500

LOL- the whole story is so stupid it must be some sort of social experiment- or he's an idiot.

chubbyonekanubby

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 22:37:46 -0500

Wow, when I was reading the description and it listed the scarface shirt, I totally thought to myself "this must be a joke, no one would be that stupid" I guess I was wrong... come on people, use common sense.

TSOL

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 21:04:16 -0500

Papercutninja: "He was afraid to say no because he didn't want to look like a racist. " ...which is why he was planning on voting for Obama...

emilydickinson

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 20:33:30 -0500

That's why you always ride narrow clipless pedals. This brings me back to the 80's...You got jacked up.

citylion

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 20:04:19 -0500

Idiot... oh and agreed with jenspellnogood. That's just going back to basics here. Common sense, common sense.

babyhitler

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:50:17 -0500

#37 and #39 - You'd think that would be sensible but You guys are shit out of luck! First of all, thieves will file down the serial numbers. Second of all, even with a piece of paper hidden inside the bike and reciepts for the bike the Police won't do shit! Why do I know? my bike was stolen, I filed a stolen bike report, I found my bike neare a mexican deli and flagged down a police car. The police looked at the bike, found that the serial number was filed off, looked inside the handlebar and found my ID and still would not recover my bike cause they said that lawfully if it doesn't have a serial number their hands were tied. So all a crook has to do is file off the serial number and they are scott free. Luckily the deli was scared shitless after I said I'd blog all about it on Gothamist and they gave me my bike back. Oh Yeah, they deli was at 8th street and broadway. BULLY DELI uses stolen bikes!!!!!

Snoopy

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:05:55 -0500

Maybe the guy that borrowed it brought it back but the owner had left by then. That's always a possibility.

TimSPC

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:59:12 -0500

Hey, Michael Green, let me try out your wallet.

Kevin Walsh

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:38:05 -0500

What a maroon! --Bugs Bunny www.forgotten-ny.com

just_saying

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:31:21 -0500

Jeez, Bikeblogger Mike said the guy weighed about 250 lbs. Why didn't he try to chase after him? He probably could have caught him. I'd be surprised if that bike doesn't have new coat of paint now, but good luck in recovering it anyway.

zodak

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:17:55 -0500

Wearing a white button down short sleeved shirt...He had some religious tattoos sounds like a honest church-going young man, i'd lend him my bike too. "here you go buddy, i trust you."

ugh

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:15:37 -0500

yah but did birdbath bakery still give him the 25% discount since technically he was sans bicycle?

the3rdbridge

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:09:38 -0500

"Excuse me, you sir. Yes, you with the airbrushed Scarface image on your hat/shirt/jacket and homemade cross tattoo. Would you please be so kind and to watch my baby and briefcase with $100,000 in it for me? I need to tie my shoes. By the way, I was injured in the war and can't run or shout..."

selenawrites

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:00:42 -0500

On the upside of a poor choice in judgment, this is kind of a nice Earth Day story - someone, somewhere, is riding that bike instead of using a car. He essentially donated a nice, shiny bike to someone less fortunate - that's about as eco-"friendly" as you can get!

Tim N.

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:21:53 -0500

I have to add my voice to this... guy's a friggin' idiot. Only I'll say that it isn't his outlander status that makes him dumb... this would be d-u-m dumb anywhere. This was d-u-m dumb when I was five and a seven year old asked me if they could try out my bike. I said no then, and that was that. And here's the thing... you're on a bike! Ride away, dude... the guy's hit the double-century and a half line, he's not going to catch you. And yes, people get taken for a ride every day, because, as P.T. Barnum once said, there's a sucker born every minute.

ckone

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:00:05 -0500

wow can i smell the self-righteousness... people get taken for a ride every day. I'm going way out on a limb here but i'd wager that each and every one of you has done something this stupid once, most of you are just not frank enough to fess... if any of you ever do go outside and you do see this bike, please put aside your self-satisfaction for a moment, pull out your iphone and comment on Mike's blog re it's location. Then you can leave him a snarky message about what a bonehead he is too.

streber

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:39:16 -0500

To add to what 37 said... Also put something in/on your bike. For example, a small note INSIDE your tire that might get found by a bike shop fixing a flat for the thief. OR, in stem for your seat... if you have to prove the bike is yours, "there's a card with my name, address, and phone number in the stem". But yeah, not being dumb is your best defense.

poopmast

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:36:28 -0500

wait he didn't have an electronic lock on his car, he turned it? Most cars have had electronic locks for the last 20 years. SUCKER!!!!!

drewo

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:22:45 -0500

fwiw - Keep a copy of your bicycle's serial numbers (usually found under the crankshaft) in your wallet. If/when your bike is stolen by a thief/food delivery guy and you (against all odds) manage to find it again, you're gonna need some kind of proof that it is indeed your bike.

ihateallbrokers

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:16:56 -0500

i didnt fall for that when i was 12 why would i fall for that now?

lanciano

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:16:43 -0500

what the!?!?!? am i reading the onion?? I would have been way to embarrassed to call the cops if this happened to me. (not that i would ever do something quite this boneheaded.) if it was that easy to hand the bike over to this guy, it should have been just as easy for mike to hop on the bike himself and ride away!!! if someone came to me with a gun/knife/bazooka and said, "Your Bianchi or your life!" no problem. sure, it's all yours, pal. this guy said he wanted to just wanted take it for a spin? people do not "borrow" bikes here. mike should have known better after 18 years in town. no sympathy.

Gentrifier

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:14:26 -0500

There are two reasons to talk to a stranger on the streets of New York: To ask for/offer a cigarette. To ask for/offer directions. If the conversation goes in any other direction, walk away. Something skeezy is going on. The guy got PUNK'D.

ckone

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 16:11:40 -0500

I'm going to go way out on a limb here and say this guy probably shared this story for two reasons: (1) he wants his bike back and hopes that someone will see it and say something, and (2) he would like to not see this happen to other people.

JenChungsBra

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:55:05 -0500

Guaranteed that if the guy was white, 5'8" and 135 lbs. with no tattoos and wearing Abercrombie he would have had zero problem saying "No" to him. He was just scared, that's all, and gave up the bike even though he knew what was going to happen.

edEx

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:53:56 -0500

sorry. no sympathy.

babyhitler

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:46:54 -0500

Oh YeaH. Here's a tip for all you guys near the vicinity of "hoodlum's" who come up to you. If they ever step up to you and try to instigate something or ask for something say "I'm gay and I would love to suck yo Dick! I also have AIDS!" Do this with weird facial tics. You would think they'd want to fight you but they will be too shellshocked and weirded out that they will try to get the fuck out of there as soon as possible with a "whateva!"

JacqueMehoff

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:44:27 -0500

ain't no mexican, a drug addict from the LES. no mexican would wear jean shorts and white sneakers, that's hispanic. Does birdbath bakery allow you to bring your bike in for the 25 percent discount?

Bizzle

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:42:27 -0500

idiot.

babyhitler

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:38:28 -0500

Mexican Guy! For some reason, Mexican's love to steal bikes. They are a pretty good minority for the most part. They do all the menial tasks in society and are very low percentage wise on rapes and assault but they will go out of the way to steal cheap bikes. It's in their DNA to steal bikes. My advice. Go to a local deli. Outside is a billion stolen bikes on the racks. All the mexican delivery guys bikes? ever wonder why they are taped up? cause the bikes are stolen.

Ared

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:28:13 -0500

Jesus riding on the Dalai Lama's shoulders could ask to try my bike and I'd say No.

JDSX

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:26:31 -0500

Sucker.

spiritross

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:25:34 -0500

Classic New York People say the city is dead but moments like this still happen everyday marvelous to read about The soul of the city lives on

seaanemoneman

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:17:01 -0500

Yeah, that happened to me when I was 10. Except I ignored the guy. Years later, during an attempted mugging, I just biked away. Works every time. "Come back here!" he yelled. Ha.

everydaydreamer

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:01:18 -0500

"Let me hold that" always, I repeat, ALWAYS means, "That's my bike, punk" (ref. Deebo from Friday), in all of its forms: "let me borrow that," "let me try out that," "let me see that (you see with your eyes, not with your hands)," etc. This is one of the first lessons you learn as a kid growing up around knuckleheads. Another is, hold your food closely and with a firm hand or else some wise ass will ensure that it ends up on the ground or covered with his hand print. Why? Doesn't matter why. It just is. I suggest you listen to Mos Def's "Got." This will enlighten you, with the voice and thoughts of a Brooklyn rapper who has gained cross-socioeconomic appeal. You just got got.

sakebalboa

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:00:13 -0500

lol scarface

jaja007

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:54:44 -0500

I'm going to ask to borrow his girl and wallet for a while..

drewo

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:52:26 -0500

WHY WHY WHY is this guy sharing this with the world if he's so embarrassed about it?? It's his sacred duty: he's a blogger.

Tgirl

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:52:11 -0500

this is just the latest episode of "When Bad Things Happen to Stupid People"

Ralph

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:50:03 -0500

Politburo, yeah, good point. Would have been nice if the OP let us know what happened with the keys.

Papercutninja

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:48:13 -0500

He was afraid to say no because he didn't want to look like a racist. Sucks to have a bike stolen.

JacqueMehoff

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:47:50 -0500

this is why everyone should carry pepper spray. "they" know they won by doing this to certain people and will keep doing it. wow, did I just write that? I thought I was a champion of the downtrodden? (which, I'm still am believe it or not) anyway, don't trust any junkies, druggies, convicts, ex-convicts and especially people with tattoos on their hand between their thumb and index finger. I think it's a drug signal. the only people I see with them are skanks and sketchy people.

jenspellnogood

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:43:49 -0500

mike's a good guy at heart, but as most of the lefty/crunchy brooklyn douchebaggery he's a victim of all that liberal guilt. maybe now his blog will offer up some realistic views on life. any kid that grew up in this city, and yes fucktards from kansas some people actually lived here before they turned 19, "lemme hold that" has a no return policy guarantee.

Politburo

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:42:55 -0500

Ralph: Maybe that was left out because there's no followup on the blog post about those keys.. does he now have the keys to this guy's car? Or was that somehow faked? It just confuses the situation.

bklynd

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:40:53 -0500

This is straight out of The Fortress of Solitude. You got yoked, son.

fishfryin

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:40:38 -0500

WHY WHY WHY is this guy sharing this with the world if he's so embarrassed about it?? this is absurd

Ralph

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:37:41 -0500

Here's more from the article. Why didn't JDS include this? Who knows....whatever, the guys is still a moron for letting someone "test ride" his bike. "Then for some dumb ass reason, I gave in and let him ride it. Before this happened he gave me the keys to his car which he walked over to a car parked in the street and turned the lock. I didn't pay to much attention to these details...YEAH I know...I should Have. I shouldn't have even let him touch my bike...going with my initial gut feelings. This will be the hardest part to swallow. I share it with you knowing the embarsment I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I had a policy, never to let people ride my bike, never to stop on the Bridge if someone flagged me down. WHY WHY WHY did I let down my guard."

JenChungsBra

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:35:11 -0500

Why didn't he say no? Because he was fucking scared shit, that's why!

tien mao

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:34:50 -0500

wow. talk about lacking street smarts. or just smarts in general.

Ph

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:33:48 -0500

What a Rube. Seriously, this kind of comedy is why I actually like these transplants sometimes. Seriously, who fucking does that?

kane

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:30:06 -0500

5'8" and 250 lbs is fit? Maybe in Houston (the fattest city in America, for those slow on the uptake).

KinoSport

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:29:55 -0500

Why would you talk to a man wearing jean shorts?

tnturner

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:29:00 -0500

the Scarface airbrush work should've tipped 'em off immediately. I second: RUBE

Ralph

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:28:11 -0500

Moron. Listen to that little voice, it's usually right.

Reality Czech

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:27:22 -0500

Hey! No racial profiling!

jenchungsgrammar

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:26:53 -0500

RUBE