April 23, 2008
Bike Thief Mind Tricks: Hey, Let Me 'Try Out' Your Bike!
Bike thieves in New York have been known to use everything from electric saws to Bic pen tops in order to separate bikes from pesky locks, but no method is more effective than convincing a cyclist to just hand over their ride.
This is what happened to BikeBlogger Michael Green yesterday when, outside the eco-friendly Birdbath Bakery, he let a smooth-talking grifter talk him out of his beloved KHS (pictured):
A Hispanic male about 5'8, stocky, short cropped hair, looking kind of pale like he was on the methadone program. He was fit. A good 250 lbs. Wearing a white button down short sleeved shirt with a huge airbrushed image of scar-face. Jean shorts, white sneakers. He had some religious tattoos including a cross on his hand that looked home-made.Aaaaand yoink. Green summoned the NYPD and rode around with them in a fruitless search for the culprit, to no avail. So he’d love it if people would keep their eyes peeled for it; in the meantime if anyone wants to “try out” his sneakers or wallet or anything...He walked by me, then turned around and came back. He walked up to me and asked where he could get a bike like mine. Then he asked if he could feel how heavy it was. I knew he was going to want to try it out and I knew I would SAY NO! Then for some dumb ass reason, I gave in and let him ride it.
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RUBE
Hey! No racial profiling!
Moron. Listen to that little voice, it's usually right.
the Scarface airbrush work should've tipped 'em off immediately.
I second: RUBE
Why would you talk to a man wearing jean shorts?
5'8" and 250 lbs is fit? Maybe in Houston (the fattest city in America, for those slow on the uptake).
What a Rube.
Seriously, this kind of comedy is why I actually like these transplants sometimes.
Seriously, who fucking does that?
wow. talk about lacking street smarts. or just smarts in general.
Why didn't he say no? Because he was fucking scared shit, that's why!
Here's more from the article. Why didn't JDS include this? Who knows....whatever, the guys is still a moron for letting someone "test ride" his bike.
"Then for some dumb ass reason, I gave in and let him ride it. Before this happened he gave me the keys to his car which he walked over to a car parked in the street and turned the lock. I didn't pay to much attention to these details...YEAH I know...I should Have. I shouldn't have even let him touch my bike...going with my initial gut feelings. This will be the hardest part to swallow. I share it with you knowing the embarsment I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I had a policy, never to let people ride my bike, never to stop on the Bridge if someone flagged me down. WHY WHY WHY did I let down my guard."
WHY WHY WHY is this guy sharing this with the world if he's so embarrassed about it?? this is absurd
This is straight out of The Fortress of Solitude. You got yoked, son.
Ralph: Maybe that was left out because there's no followup on the blog post about those keys.. does he now have the keys to this guy's car? Or was that somehow faked? It just confuses the situation.
mike's a good guy at heart, but as most of the lefty/crunchy brooklyn douchebaggery he's a victim of all that liberal guilt. maybe now his blog will offer up some realistic views on life.
any kid that grew up in this city, and yes fucktards from kansas some people actually lived here before they turned 19, "lemme hold that" has a no return policy guarantee.
this is why everyone should carry pepper spray.
"they" know they won by doing this to certain people and will keep doing it. wow, did I just write that?
I thought I was a champion of the downtrodden? (which, I'm still am believe it or not)
anyway, don't trust any junkies, druggies, convicts, ex-convicts and especially people with tattoos on their hand between their thumb and index finger. I think it's a drug signal. the only people I see with them are skanks and sketchy people.
He was afraid to say no because he didn't want to look like a racist. Sucks to have a bike stolen.
Politburo, yeah, good point. Would have been nice if the OP let us know what happened with the keys.
this is just the latest episode of "When Bad Things Happen to Stupid People"
WHY WHY WHY is this guy sharing this with the world if he's so embarrassed about it??
It's his sacred duty: he's a blogger.
I'm going to ask to borrow his girl and wallet for a while..
lol scarface
"Let me hold that" always, I repeat, ALWAYS means, "That's my bike, punk" (ref. Deebo from Friday), in all of its forms: "let me borrow that," "let me try out that," "let me see that (you see with your eyes, not with your hands)," etc.
This is one of the first lessons you learn as a kid growing up around knuckleheads. Another is, hold your food closely and with a firm hand or else some wise ass will ensure that it ends up on the ground or covered with his hand print. Why? Doesn't matter why. It just is.
I suggest you listen to Mos Def's "Got." This will enlighten you, with the voice and thoughts of a Brooklyn rapper who has gained cross-socioeconomic appeal.
You just got got.
Yeah, that happened to me when I was 10. Except I ignored the guy. Years later, during an attempted mugging, I just biked away. Works every time. "Come back here!" he yelled. Ha.
Classic New York
People say the city is dead but moments like this still happen everyday
marvelous to read about
The soul of the city lives on
Sucker.
Jesus riding on the Dalai Lama's shoulders could ask to try my bike and I'd say No.
Mexican Guy! For some reason, Mexican's love to steal bikes. They are a pretty good minority for the most part. They do all the menial tasks in society and are very low percentage wise on rapes and assault but they will go out of the way to steal cheap bikes. It's in their DNA to steal bikes. My advice. Go to a local deli. Outside is a billion stolen bikes on the racks. All the mexican delivery guys bikes? ever wonder why they are taped up? cause the bikes are stolen.
idiot.
ain't no mexican, a drug addict from the LES.
no mexican would wear jean shorts and white sneakers, that's hispanic.
Does birdbath bakery allow you to bring your bike in for the 25 percent discount?
Oh YeaH. Here's a tip for all you guys near the vicinity of "hoodlum's" who come up to you. If they ever step up to you and try to instigate something or ask for something say "I'm gay and I would love to suck yo Dick! I also have AIDS!" Do this with weird facial tics. You would think they'd want to fight you but they will be too shellshocked and weirded out that they will try to get the fuck out of there as soon as possible with a "whateva!"
sorry. no sympathy.
Guaranteed that if the guy was white, 5'8" and 135 lbs. with no tattoos and wearing Abercrombie he would have had zero problem saying "No" to him. He was just scared, that's all, and gave up the bike even though he knew what was going to happen.
I'm going to go way out on a limb here and say this guy probably shared this story for two reasons:
(1) he wants his bike back and hopes that someone will see it and say something, and
(2) he would like to not see this happen to other people.
There are two reasons to talk to a stranger on the streets of New York:
To ask for/offer a cigarette.
To ask for/offer directions.
If the conversation goes in any other direction, walk away. Something skeezy is going on.
The guy got PUNK'D.
what the!?!?!? am i reading the onion??
I would have been way to embarrassed to call the cops if this happened to me. (not that i would ever do something quite this boneheaded.)
if it was that easy to hand the bike over to this guy, it should have been just as easy for mike to hop on the bike himself and ride away!!!
if someone came to me with a gun/knife/bazooka and said, "Your Bianchi or your life!" no problem. sure, it's all yours, pal. this guy said he wanted to just wanted take it for a spin?
people do not "borrow" bikes here. mike should have known better after 18 years in town. no sympathy.
i didnt fall for that when i was 12 why would i fall for that now?
fwiw - Keep a copy of your bicycle's serial numbers (usually found under the crankshaft) in your wallet. If/when your bike is stolen by a thief/food delivery guy and you (against all odds) manage to find it again, you're gonna need some kind of proof that it is indeed your bike.
wait he didn't have an electronic lock on his car, he turned it?
Most cars have had electronic locks for the last 20 years.
SUCKER!!!!!
To add to what 37 said...
Also put something in/on your bike.
For example, a small note INSIDE your tire that might get found by a bike shop fixing a flat for the thief.
OR, in stem for your seat... if you have to prove the bike is yours, "there's a card with my name, address, and phone number in the stem".
But yeah, not being dumb is your best defense.
wow can i smell the self-righteousness...
people get taken for a ride every day. I'm going way out on a limb here but i'd wager that each and every one of you has done something this stupid once, most of you are just not frank enough to fess...
if any of you ever do go outside and you do see this bike, please put aside your self-satisfaction for a moment, pull out your iphone and comment on Mike's blog re it's location. Then you can leave him a snarky message about what a bonehead he is too.
I have to add my voice to this... guy's a friggin' idiot. Only I'll say that it isn't his outlander status that makes him dumb... this would be d-u-m dumb anywhere. This was d-u-m dumb when I was five and a seven year old asked me if they could try out my bike. I said no then, and that was that.
And here's the thing... you're on a bike! Ride away, dude... the guy's hit the double-century and a half line, he's not going to catch you.
And yes, people get taken for a ride every day, because, as P.T. Barnum once said, there's a sucker born every minute.
On the upside of a poor choice in judgment, this is kind of a nice Earth Day story - someone, somewhere, is riding that bike instead of using a car. He essentially donated a nice, shiny bike to someone less fortunate - that's about as eco-"friendly" as you can get!
"Excuse me, you sir. Yes, you with the airbrushed Scarface image on your hat/shirt/jacket and homemade cross tattoo. Would you please be so kind and to watch my baby and briefcase with $100,000 in it for me? I need to tie my shoes. By the way, I was injured in the war and can't run or shout..."
yah but did birdbath bakery still give him the 25% discount since technically he was sans bicycle?
Wearing a white button down short sleeved shirt...He had some religious tattoos
sounds like a honest church-going young man, i'd lend him my bike too. "here you go buddy, i trust you."
Jeez, Bikeblogger Mike said the guy weighed about 250 lbs. Why didn't he try to chase after him? He probably could have caught him.
I'd be surprised if that bike doesn't have new coat of paint now, but good luck in recovering it anyway.
What a maroon! --Bugs Bunny
www.forgotten-ny.com
Hey, Michael Green, let me try out your wallet.
Maybe the guy that borrowed it brought it back but the owner had left by then. That's always a possibility.
#37 and #39 - You'd think that would be sensible but You guys are shit out of luck! First of all, thieves will file down the serial numbers. Second of all, even with a piece of paper hidden inside the bike and reciepts for the bike the Police won't do shit! Why do I know? my bike was stolen, I filed a stolen bike report, I found my bike neare a mexican deli and flagged down a police car. The police looked at the bike, found that the serial number was filed off, looked inside the handlebar and found my ID and still would not recover my bike cause they said that lawfully if it doesn't have a serial number their hands were tied. So all a crook has to do is file off the serial number and they are scott free. Luckily the deli was scared shitless after I said I'd blog all about it on Gothamist and they gave me my bike back. Oh Yeah, they deli was at 8th street and broadway. BULLY DELI uses stolen bikes!!!!!
Idiot...
oh and agreed with jenspellnogood. That's just going back to basics here. Common sense, common sense.
That's why you always ride narrow clipless pedals.
This brings me back to the 80's...You got jacked up.
Papercutninja:
"He was afraid to say no because he didn't want to look like a racist. "
...which is why he was planning on voting for Obama...
Wow, when I was reading the description and it listed the scarface shirt, I totally thought to myself "this must be a joke, no one would be that stupid" I guess I was wrong... come on people, use common sense.
LOL- the whole story is so stupid it must be some sort of social experiment- or he's an idiot.
at least embellish the story and say he had a gun -
if you want to get 80's. at least act like you know...
yoked is like a headlock, you get yoked up from behind with a headlock & one or two arms immolibilzed while someone else rifles your pockets...
he got HERBED,
scarface dude caught a herb,
like the mcdonalds campaign, catch a herb get some cash! (spot the herb guy from the ads at a local micky d's win a prize)
or you can say he got vicked, like Victimized.
jacked is good too..bike jacked ha!